<p>I'm very excited to attend admit weekend in a few days, but I've read a few times on these boards that admit weekend is pretty different than your actual time at the university. I was wondering what exactly these differences are? Like I know that it'll obviously be different when I'm an actual student and that the university wants to show its best features to accepted students but I'm still undecided about where I'm going to go to school so I'd like to know what I can take at face value and what I shouldn't put too much weight into. </p>
<p>thank you! </p>
<p>Admit weekend gives a pretty good idea about the general atmosphere on campus. There are no surprises later on. You will definitely know, during or after admit weekend, whether you want to attend or not. By the way, congratulations!</p>
<p>More than anything…it is the personal unscripted conversations you have with your sponsors, their friends, and total strangers (Stanford students and fellow profros) late into the night/early morning hours…when you KNOW where you belong…</p>
if deciding between a few schools, is it worth the expense and time away from school to attend several? Harvard’s Vistas overlaps with Stanford’s Admit Weekend, which is immediately after Yale’s Bull Dog Days. Seems all other scholar weekends and preview days are coordinated to not conflict except that one. My S friend attend all 3 last year when deciding. What should a student do this year, if fortunate to have such options? Advice? that’s a lot of travel…. and $.
This is part of why finding out at the end of March, with only a few weeks before having to make the trips, can be an expensive problem. We’re waiting to see what happens—perhaps one or more of the schools won’t be an option, which would simplify things. But if all of them are—even after considering aid offers—we’ll probably just choose the top two contenders, one of which is already definite, and visit both (since ours don’t conflict). There’s no way to attend Harvard’s and Stanford’s programs, at least in their entireties, at the same time. So if those end up being your top two choices and you live close to one of them, maybe you can just attend the other school’s admitted students event and make a separate trip at another time to the school you live near.
@MomTwo2 The question is probably better asked once decisions are in and you see if HYS really is an option. Having said that, I agree with @Planner . Revisit days are an opportunity for the schools to sell themselves, which is fine, but there is also something to be said for visiting a school when they are not trying to impress.
Personally, if I were hypothetically accepted to all 3 (not a reality as I did not apply to Yale), taking a week off from school is not even an option; my school won’t allow it and my parents agree with the school.
@planner thank you! and H & S are such ENTIRELY different schools…. The student who weighed S vs H last year was headed to H in his mind until he attended the respective preview days/ admit weekends, became really torn, and ultimately ended up at S, and is very, very happy. thx!!
@MomTwo2 Glad this helps—Stanford and Harvard are indeed very different! It’s interesting to hear how many students change their minds because of the admit weekends—especially when it’s students who have visited the campuses before. In a way, it’s a little concerning, because it’s possible that whichever school puts on the best/most convincing “show” for a couple of days will be the one students choose—even if the students are already quite certain they’ll attend another school. So a student may “rationally” have made the decision beforehand for school X but “irrationally” be swayed by all the excitement generated by school Y during admit weekend and decide that the “fit” is better at school Y—even though it may actually be better at school X. And students can be swayed, too, by their experiences with hosts—a super-friendly host may make an admitted student think that the school’s students are, in general, really friendly, whereas a more reserved host may have the opposite effect. It might actually be safer, assuming the student has already visited the schools in question, to stay away from admitted students weekends—at least from the standpoint of making the best, most reasoned decision. But we’re not going to be doing that!
I understand many of you and your kids are waiting for Stanford’s D-Day (good luck to all!)…and I agree with @skieurope about not counting the chickens before they hatch…because for most…they may NOT have the option of choosing among the two or three schools…
…but having kids at two of the schools and knowing many kids at all three schools plus MIT…the best way I have heard someone describing their experience at Stanford is…it is the best of Harvard and MIT in academic disciplines combined with the “laid back” attitude of Yale located in the best possible area with beautiful year-round weather…
…what’s not to love! 
@gravitas2 Sounds idyllic indeed! Do they still feel that way, though, even with “duck syndrome” and what appear to be fewer opportunities to socialize after freshman year?
http://www.stanforddaily.com/2015/03/10/stanford-journeys-new-program-helps-students-through-the-sophomore-slump/
@planner. I don’t know if you know…Stanford’s so-called “duck syndrome” is very similar to Yale’s version of “duck syndrome”…Yale doesn’t call it that…but basically it is the so-called “laid-back” attitude that both schools’ students want to portray…and, yet, we all know that they do sometimes worry about their grades and classes (that’s human nature)…there is no such thing as a “perfect” college experience…but, Stanford comes closer than others because there is less of a chance for rampant “cabin-fever”(mood-affect) that is pervasive during the long winter (cold and snowy) months of the northeast and can be more bothersome to Californians/warm weather students from other states and countries…
…I have seen many Californians affected by this…including ours…
…in terms of socialization after freshman year…Stanford’s residential college philosophy has always been like that old holiday song…“make new friends” and “keep the old”…
…by having the students potentially being placed into a “new” house each year depending on their “random” lotto number assigned…the students will make a new group of friends in their new dorm and have a group of “very close” friends from their original dorm…in this way…their circle of friends and acquaintances…and networking increases each year…so, for most, Stanford students have better odds of at least “knowing” more of their 1690 other classmates by the time they graduate…
…of course, this is all dependent on the temperament and personality of the student in question…whether they are introverts or extroverts or something in between… 
Thanks, @gravitas2. I’m sure the dismal weather does affect some students negatively, but I wonder too whether it contributes to closer bonds between students. Living in perfect weather makes it easier to be self-sufficient and “do one’s own thing”; that, combined with all the bikes at Stanford, makes me wonder about the depth of the relationships (generally speaking) there. It may be harder to interact with other students if you’re zipping by them on a bike, rather than walking with them to class.
I do like that students theoretically can meet many more of their classmates with Stanford’s housing system, but I wonder whether that, too, contributes to relatively superficial relationships. I’m sure this does depend on a student’s temperament and personality, as you point out, but I still wonder if certain generalizations might hold true. If you spend four years—and four winters!—in a residential college at Yale, for instance, the friendships you make there may be deeper, simply because you’re with the same people year after year and toughing out all the challenges of Northeast weather together.
@planner. I understand your daughter got into Yale SCEA and you are waiting on Stanford’s decision…and I understand you seem to have an idealized view of Yale and the residential colleges…and the so-called closer “friendships” that may develop in the cold miserable winter months…as you say…but frankly, young adults from any of the SHY schools we are talking about do develop close friendships with “only” those individuals they like…regardless of whether they live in the same house for 4 years or not…
…in reality, at my other kid’s school…many relationships that don’t work out lead to major fallouts…whether it be of same sex friend or boyfriend/girlfriend…and most of these students would rather have the opportunity to not be around or seen by these individuals on a daily basis…tolerating it for the “rest of the year” is one thing…but for 3 or 4 years in the same house…that would be devastating for some!
…moreover, even if you are in the same house for 3 or 4 years…MOST of the kids make friends in their freshman year (small close knit group) and they add or subtract from this group until they graduate…and most of the other classmates in their residential hall are just acquaintances and nothing more…to be frank.
…in the end, it should be the kid’s decision (not the parent’s) where they want to attend (if they are lucky enough to have a choice) based on the strength of the majors/departments that would help facilitate their career goals and personal “fit” (dependent on one’s temperament/personality)…and, I would say most kids KNOW where they want to attend even before they visit Admitted Weekends at any of the schools…but, often they won’t tell their parents for one reason or another…
Great points, @gravitas2—I can imagine that being in the same house with an ex-friend or boyfriend/girlfriend for several years would be difficult indeed! I think my whole family (including my son, not daughter) probably has an idealized view of Yale’s residential colleges—definitely something to keep in mind if and when a choice has to be made. On the other hand, we may have an equally idealized view of Stanford’s attributes, so perhaps the two balance out.
I think many kids do know where they want to go before admitted students weekends, but quite a few of them seem to change their minds on the basis of experiences during that time. And sometimes a kid really is torn between two or more schools, especially if financial aid comes into play.
In any case, I appreciate all your words of wisdom—thanks! I’m sure in a few weeks things will be clearer.
Even if you cannot attend Admit Days, you are still welcome to visit anytime that works for you. These schools are very accommodating. The only difference is you will not be present for all the gala and festivities during Admit Days. But do try, if possible to visit the campus for yourself, because these schools have very different vibes from each other. The videos of the campus give you a visual, but it is actually being on campus, with students about that gives you the best feeling for the school. Stanford is utterly more beautiful than what the videos present. Some kids prefer ‘the Farm’, other kids will prefer the more urban vibe of Harvard. Both schools offer top-notch educations and opportunities, but the environments you choose to engage in could make a difference for you.
S is looking for the “feel” to help decide. Has visited and stayed in dorms. Will attend other college “admit” events and a couple scholarship weekends. Wants to give Stanford same “look”, but has a major conflict that weekend, but will sacrifice that if needed. Will Admit Weekend be a real feel? is it valuable to attend? trying to decide what to do. Advice?
It’s hard to get a “real feel” in a single weekend, and I suspect Stanford’s job is to put on a great party for the admits.
Maybe they will ban tourists from the campus for that weekend.
…Oh, wait…
@MomTwo2 - trying to clarify. Your ds has visited Stanford and stayed in dorms, or he has been other places and stayed in dorms? Are you saying he wants to be “equal” in how he views all final schools from which he is choosing? My ds had a conflict for Stanford admit weekend, so he did not attend. However, he had spent three weeks on Stanford’s campus for a summer program the summer before his junior year in high school. Ds’s conflict was a state level team competition. Part of it was that he didn’t want to let down his team. We gave him the option to go, but he did not. Totally his choice. If your ds has never been to Stanford’s campus but is going to others for their respective admit weekends, I think I would forego the major conflict so all schools get the same “look” as you put it. If he has spent time on campus before, it’s a harder decision to make. I can’t attest to whether or not it’s a real feel since ds did not go. He did join the various FB groups of the schools he was considering. He never posted, but I think he did glean some info on the personalities of potential future classmates by reading the posts of others.
I’m sorry. The timing of these events is so challenging - so many school events in the spring not to mention AP exam preparation. I guess high schools in some parts of the country have spring breaks in April, but we do not. Ours is in March. No chance here that the students would coincidentally/conveniently be out of school during these admit weekends. Wish I could be more help.
momtwo2, If your son has a major conflict that weekend, don’t despair! While there will be a more celebratory feel to admit weekend, it is not the only time for him to visit to get ‘a feel’ for Stanford. We were in the same boat as you, and visited another time other than Admit Weekend. It did not deter from the vibe of the school for our kid, who loved it,even without all the fanfare of Admit Days.
I went through this exact situation last year. Yale and Stanford’s admit days overlapped by a day or two. Princeton’s day overlapped as well but they had two options a week apart and I went to the earlier one, Ultimately, my parents and I decided to spend a little extra and go directly from Yale’s Bulldog days and fly to Stanford’s admit weekend, which I both do and don’t regret.
Looking back, Stanford’s admit days gave me a really great idea of what campus and “Stanford” life would be like, but what I didn’t enjoy was how “forced” everything was: they tried to make everyone become friends in a day or two. But what sealed the deal were current students who removed themselves from the “facade” that the administration asks them to put up and frankly told me, Admit weekend can be shallow, but don’t let it turn you off from coming here. I think it’s pretty accurate to describe admit weekend like a big “party” (don’t worry nonalcohol of course 
)for admits. They do try really hard to make everyone have fun, and I did. You can feel that there’s a lot of energy on campus.
Bulldog days was also nice, but it was by far less interesting. They had lot’s of open houses and things like that, but I don’t remember them being particularly helpful or enlightening. It wasn’t like a “party” at all, like admit weekend. I don’t think I really made many new friends and the administration didn’t really facilitate that. I mostly just hung out with two other admits from my high school. I remember having fun though: me and my friends basically just went from buttery to buttery at 2 in the morning.
Quick Note on Stanford vs Yale dorm life:
I don’t think one school necessarily foster “deeper” relationships more than the other. In alot of ways, Stanford’s freshman dorms play the same exact role Yale’s residential colleges do, and you still make great new relationships. (Biking and the size of campus does not make really a difference at all, haha). The only difference is that Stanford students stay with a group of close friends but basically seperate from the rest of their dorm. So you might not be in proximity of all of your freshman friends unlike Yale, but you’ll get to meet new ones! I think that has both pros and cons. Stanford also has a much larger variety of dorms (including greek houses and co-ops!) which personally I prefer. Also, I realized recently that HYP schools all miss out on the traditional college “hallway” experience, which I think is almost kind of elitist-ish