<p>OP, although neither I nor my daughter attended private nor boarding school, your description of the social life at the school you attended sounded very, very middle-school. It does get better and it’s not so socially driven at any decent high school, public or private, residential or not.</p>
<p>Your friend who wants to enlist in the military has a very different path from yours, unless you too are African American. And I say that as a white person with a Chinese daughter who has long lived in majority-African-American neighborhoods. Although for sure she deserves your sympathy and empathy, her road is not your road.</p>
<p>I can’t begin to tell you what to do, but don’t write off a regular (as opposed to homeschool) school environment of any kind without doing more research. There is a very active prep school forum here on CC; perhaps some of the parents there can help.</p>
<p>Oh, and as the parent of a high school senior, I agree with everyone who warns you not to put all your eggs into the Yale basket. There is a much greater number of schools that are serious places where higher-level learning takes place than what you write. Of course every college has its slackers, but every college also has its serious learners and for sure there is more than one college that will work for you.</p>
<p>There is nothing happening educationally at Yale today that is more important for you than what is going on in your own backyard. </p>
<p>Where I am, you can enroll in the local high school, take no more than one course, and take the rest at the local community college. </p>
<p>(and, by the way, you are correct about the Sacred Music Institute; with the right faculty connection, you can take classes/seminars there. However, make sure early that you have the necessary language background - Latin, French, Italian - or you won’t be progressing in the discipline. You could be doing languages now.)</p>
<p>(By the way, you might be unpleasantly surprised to find out how “rote” courses can be at Ivies and schools of their ilk, especially in the first two years. I say that on the basis of having taught at Chicago, and my d. teaching at Princeton. But - and this is virtually always true - for the right student, there is always a way around it.)</p>
<p>So what is wrong with your public high school again? Why does it have to be boarding school? Are your older sibs’ problems casting a shadow on you and how your parents think about you?</p>
<p>Wow, a lot to address. I’ll try not to overdo it in rant-form again. </p>
<p>I do realize that many colleges also have a conventional, rote approach to education; however from taking many online courses offered by different universities, I have a vague but directed idea of which schools’ teaching styles I am interested in. Also, greater freedom in college means that there is space for you to do more self-directed or online study instead of going to every single class all the time, etc and I suspect at a college level personal, individual thinking is more valued than in HS. </p>
<p>I’m a decent writer when I have something to say, thanks for the compliment austin. However if I were to go into a non-money-making job, it would be sacred music (hence the conflict re more/less music I alluded to, my parents do in fact want me to eventually have a financially secure future!).
I’m not exactly sure how much top-notch colleges would value my writing ability, because while I’m a strong creative writer, I am an unbelievably terrible organizer of my thoughts in an academic essay. Working on it, but it’s going to be a long journey. </p>
<p>All the good public HSs in my area have to be entered via entrance exam in 8th or 9th grade. The others are pretty run-down and subpar. </p>
<p>Perhaps I should acknowledge that part of my aversion to returning to a private HS is an ego issue. I wasn’t happy there, others weren’t. I might be very happy there now, I am a more stable person than I was 2, 3 years ago. But my happiness would feel dishonest, and I would feel like I was devaluing the integrity of the experiences that have frankly shaped my path more than anything else. And I would feel morally uncomfortable supporting that sort of system. Maybe I should just loosen up about it all. </p>
<p>I appreciate all this advice, and am reaffirmed that I should consider a much wider range of colleges when I get to that point.</p>
<p>You are on the dangerous path of blaming everyone around you for your troubles. How about taking ownership of your own life? </p>
<p>You mentioned that you were an outcast in HS. You socialize with kids from lower socio-economic class than you are. There is nothing wrong with being friendly with the kids of color. The problem is (IMHO) - your conflict with kids of your own color and privilege. Honestly, I prefer to befriend a person, see a person, get real colorblindness. Some rich write kid may come from a broken family, some poor Latino kid may be blessed with love from extended family. You can’t really compare kids based on their color and family income. Life is not two-dimensional.</p>
<p>“I’m a strong creative writer, I am an unbelievably terrible organizer of my thoughts” - who told you, that you are a “strong creative writer”? </p>
<p>You can call yourself a “strong creative writer” when you start selling blockbusters. </p>
<p>I think you have an inflated ego. What have you achieved in your life? Home-schooler, without friends?</p>
<p>“I would feel morally uncomfortable supporting that sort of system” … Your parents want to pay money, because they want to be sure that you would (at least) have a HS diploma. And not get in trouble with the wrong group of kids. Your parents are sending you to a boarding school (and willing to pay big bucks for it), because they want to buy some kind of security for themselves. </p>
<p>Currently, you have nothing and you achieved nothing, not even a HS diploma. Your parents paid for a good private school, but you could not study there. Your parents took you out of school and got counseling for you. Paid money, again. Currently, you stay home, and act as a jerk. Naturally, your poor parents want to send you (somewhere), where you could get, at least, a HS diploma.</p>
<p>If you would be a better (easier) student, certainly, you would be able to study at the local HS. Apparently, you are not there. </p>
<p>Go to your local HS. Honestly. Get a reality check.</p>
<p>If you want to play sacred music … why can’t you do it NOW? For example, at your local church?</p>
<p>What is your career plan? Do you really need college?</p>
<p>I think your parents are against your music, because they are afraid that they would have to provide you with the long-term financial support, even after college.</p>
<p>“All the good public HSs in my area have to be entered via entrance exam in 8th or 9th grade. The others are pretty run-down and subpar.”</p>
<ol>
<li><p>What’s wrong with the entrance exam? Take it.</p></li>
<li><p>What do you mean by “run-down and subpar” HS? A diamond would shine in any enviroment. If you are a mature, independent student, - … all American HS are good. In fact, I really like our urban HS, because our principal is very accommodating and supportive of talented students.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>There are also students who never attend college for academics. It is entirely possible to not attend college, and still learn. There are myriad free online courses. You can surely get a job! But as I’m sure you’re thinking, few serious jobs that offer you high impact and high pay will consider you without a college diploma.
It is no different in (at least classical) music. You’re probably accustomed to church musicians who played piano once and, in their retirement, play for the local church. I’m privileged to know that there is more out there than that, simply because of where I live.</p>
<p>Frankly, any accomplished musician who is able to enrich others’ lives- in church or outside- with beauty, comfort and meaning, has studied A LOT. It takes, of course, practice organs available 24/7 (Sharing organ time with 2 other organists, I can only practice 2x a week). It takes the varied skills you develop by working with a variety of teachers (some specialize in improv, some in hymnody, some in repertoire). </p>
<p>It takes the connections you form that lead you to your first job. It takes high-level peers who stimulate and encourage you. </p>
<p>You have to learn about liturgy and theology too, if you want to be a serious church musician, because you need to watch where your church is going and what it is doing and the context of your music.</p>
<p>You have to write effectively, and speak charismatically, and network well.
You have to work with a wide range of ages.
You probably have to get a little teaching experience for the childrens’ choir jobs. </p>
<p>And of course, you HAVE to learn to conduct in a way that is natural and inspiring to your chorus.
Choral conducting is a highly specialized field and must be learned from “the masters,” not any church with a choir director. </p>
<p>CAN you get all of these things outside of school? Yes! Of course! But schooling is currently the most effective way to attain them.</p>
<p>“I think you have an inflated ego.”
Ha! Well, inflated ego, probably yes. </p>
<p>I do wonder what your intentions are in that last sentence there. </p>
<p>“What have you achieved in your life? Home-schooler, without friends?”</p>
<p>Have most schoolkids achieved something truly grand, in 11th grade, that I have not? </p>
<p>Any public high school is full of both kids with, and without friends, socially comfortable, and uncomfortable.
Many homeschoolers have WILD social lives. I kid you not. I am not one of them, nor do I want that kind of thing.
So are you speaking negatively about my being homeschooled, or my not having much in the way of friends? Which one, and perhaps more importantly- why?
I said both of these things aren’t working out too well for me, but it seems bizarre to make negative assumptions about me based on ways of life and learning that work very well for some, not so well for others.</p>
<p>“You mentioned that you were an outcast in HS. You socialize with kids from lower socio-economic class than you are…(etc)…You can’t really compare kids based on their color and family income. Life is not two-dimensional.”</p>
<p>I catch your drift, but that’s a strawman, because private school is the ONLY place I’ve felt uncomfortable or excluded with privileged white kids.
On the streets, in churches, in camps? Wouldn’t know the difference in how much $ you make or your skin color.
But prep schools are coarsely divided in two groups in a way that LIFE is, in fact, not.
I think the difference is simply size. Life is too big to segregate much. Life is varied, because it’s so boundless.</p>
<p>And prep school separations ARE very artificial, and I felt uncomfortable in both groups. I am sure I am not alone in this. Be I alone or not in my perceptions, that doesn’t devalue them.</p>
<p>"‘I’m a strong creative writer, I am an unbelievably terrible organizer of my thoughts’ - who told you, that you are a “strong creative writer”? You can call yourself a “strong creative writer” when you start selling blockbusters."</p>
<p>I’ve been told I’m a strong creative writer by my teachers and by national awards committees. </p>
<p>I don’t have any desire to “sell blockbusters.” That sounds to me like cheap, sensationalized entertainment. Like Harry Potter? Is that what you mean? No, that’s not my writing style. If I did have a career in writing, it would be more short, dense novellas with probably a pretty limited audience. Cormac McCarthy is one of the writers who I emulate, who is anything close to a “blockbuster.” </p>
<p>Still, I do know a handful of young aspiring writers, who I do consider strong writers, who aren’t going to get published for 5-10 years. Not many people my age get published. The ones who do, pay their way into the industry. I think you’re disillusioned about how much it takes to get into the industry.</p>
<p>(I feel foolish responding in quotes to everything you said, but I want to make sure I get my thoughts across, and would like to engage outside opinions to both sides, as well as make sure I’m not misinterpreting you!)</p>
<p>You may know what most parents want in sending their kid to BS, but my parents’ idea is simply to put me in a social environment. They know I’m lonely etc. and want me to have some time away from home. I appreciate that, but 1) they know, and I know, that I wouldn’t be stimulated enough intellectually (not just academically); and 2) I have these gripes with the social environment anyway. </p>
<p>The “problem with the exam” is that I am not allowed to take it as a 17 year old. </p>
<p>It’s simply a falsity that “if you are a mature, independent student, ALL schools are good.” No, because you are required to go to class in most high schools
By “an independent student,” I meant I have no trouble seeking out online courses for myself, finding and buying good textbooks, motivating myself, and getting test scores to prove it.
I didn’t in any way mean that I’m content wasting hours per day in classes that have to teach to the lowest level in the class. I do need time to pursue learning on my own if it’s not happening in school.
I either need learning to happen in the classroom, or minimal class-time so I can learn on my own. Public schools in my area offer neither.</p>
<p>You can apply to some colleges as a junior and not be part of an isolated early entrance group of students. Our local U has an early entrance program where students dorm together but it is within the greater honors dorm with non early entrance students also. Some support is offered but mostly it is just an option for motivated students to finish up with high school early. I image other universities have similar programs.
[The</a> National Academy of Arts, Sciences, and Engineering (NAASE) - Belin-Blank Center](<a href=“http://www2.education.uiowa.edu/belinblank/Students/naase/]The”>Error - Belin-Blank Center)</p>
<p>We looked into this quite a bit for my son but he ultimately has decided to attend the U part time next year and do a few online classes. Even though he goes to a great public high school, he has exhausted their academic offerings. I feel sympathetic towards your comments on feeling similarly (I think it is easy for some people to get defensive about ps vs hs). DS is taking some classes at the U this year and is looking forward to taking more classes next year (as a senior).</p>
<p>I feel like part-time entry to a hometown U will probably be what happens next year, and I think it will be a pretty good fit. Best of luck to your kids also.</p>
<p>The world is imperfect. Honestly, going to a mediocre high school taught my children to deal with that, and still thrive. I honestly think you might benefit from going to a public high school, even one that is not top notch, just to try to learn how to get something from it.</p>
<p>BU has a sacred music program I believe, but probably also graduate level. Gordon College in MA might also. You can major in music if you like, and continue sacred music at church, then apply at the grad level if you cannot find an undergrad program. Also, the music major forum here on CC is excellent.</p>
<p>If OP were to do part time U next year, would he still be considered as a freshman when he applies for college full time?</p>
<p>I think it would be good for OP to go to the local public school. Ability to get along with people, make friends, interface with administration (more senior people) are all part of learning/education. It would benefit OP to perfect some of those skills before he/she goes off to college.</p>
<p>^^^agree OP is bright and verbal, but complains about having trouble making friends and getting along with people. Some of this is normal teen angst for the smart introvert, but the situation can be improved. Public school has all kinds of people, so it would be a good opportunity to learn how to get along with all kinds of people </p>
<p>Mach, are you seeing a therapist? You mentioned depression, and you persuaded your folks to take you out of BS because you were so unhappy. What does the therapist think of your latest plans? If you have one, does he have any advice for you about how to get out and be with people? </p>
<p>I see where the local U would be more intellectually stimulating, but I don’t know that you would make friends there. True, it would get you out of the house, which would be an improvement from what you describe you have now.</p>
