Hello All
I have a son entering his last year of middle school in 2018-2019 school year , However his grades seems to be all over the place mostly in lower B’s and C’s, additionally he is one of the youngest in class (i.e. going to enter senior year @ 16 years).
He seems to be motivated but has to work extra extra hard to even get to B’s.
So not sure if he would be able to take pressure when he enters high school.
Any advice from fellow parents based on his current path and what worked/did not work for kids with similar situation ?
No personal experience to share, but don’t worry about the impact of middle school grades. What does he enjoy doing? A focus on those areas may be a less stressful way to develop strengths that could translate to other aspects of his high school experience, and eventually college.
Why is he so young for his grade?
Middle school grades don’t count for anything in terms of college admissions in most cases.
If he will be 16 when he graduates HS in four years…he is 12 now. He needs to be a preteen boy…not a kid getting ready to go to college.
Help him find something to love. Comic books, boy scouts, robotics, science fiction, playing the guitar, baking fancy desserts or growing organic produce, stamp collecting, photography.
Kids who have something they love are going to find it easier to focus on schoolwork than kids who just have to slog through it to make mom and dad happy.
Are his grades poor because he is struggling academically? Or because he struggles with executive function (ie. deadlines, hoop jumping, getting in work, planning). Either way, you may want to consider a neuropsych evalution. It may give you some insight into his learning style and any deficits.
That said, if he is going to be 16 when he graduates, this might be a good time to step back if you chose to grade skip 1 or 2 grades. What prompted you to make that choice? I have a profoundly gifted junior right now. I never grade skipped him. He is dual enrolling right now to finish out high school. It required some very out of the box educational choices to get him here, but I have NO regrets about not pushing him forward at all. When he was in 1st grade and we pulled him out of a typical elementary school he was reading Harry Potter and doing 4th grade math. A trusted professional at that time recommended finding out of the box solutions to keep the kid learning and engaged and wait to make a decision after puberty. And then let HIM make the choice. We chose homeschooling for him, but I know others who’ve had luck with more project based schools, STEM schools, GT magnet/charter schools, online charters with flexibility, etc. Puberty was a couple air headed years for my kid. He was always well ahead of grade level academically, but not necessarily interested in being more mature over all than grade level. Because he have had a lot of involvement with GT groups, sometimes those younger kids stand out and not always in a good way. They don’t necessarily take social cues and allow the give and take of older kids. Anyway, my kid also discovered some extra curricular activities that he has really embraced and rounded him that he wouldn’t have likely had time for had we gone full bore on grade skipping.
A kid that is grade skipped, I would expect should easily be on top of their class. I know a number of people who’ve undone a grade skip between middle school and high school by choosing another school and repeating 8th grade or homeschooling a year and then moving on to high school. There is more to finishing high school than just struggling through minimal hoops. I would not be comfortable with a 16 year old graduating if he/she weren’t in the top 5-10% of graduates and very motivated and determined to launch early. Kids and especially boys change SO much every year between age 12 and 18. My 11th grader is not at all the same kid he was in 7th grade and is much more invested in goal setting and future planning.
I don’t know if this is an option, but sometimes a kid can repeat a grade without social consequences by switching to a private school. While most middle school grades won’t appear on the high school transcript, how you do in middle school can be very important in where you are placed in high school. And some high school courses (especially math, science and foreign languages) are taught in middle school and many school systems will include grades in high school level courses such as Algebra 1, or first year language courses in the transcripts.
Some of the most grounded kids in my high school were ones that had been required to repeat ninth grade coming in from another school.
@AshKSai Teach your son to think critically, with agility, with fluency and to have broad base of knowledge from which to build upon later in high school. Developing a strong memory is important, but your son should not rely on memorization alone. He should combine memory with strong thinking skills. Teach your son to persist through difficult problems, not giving up just because the solution does not present itself readily. Content knowledge, strong memory, persistence, and fluent and agile thinking skills.
Homeschool or repeat 8th grade. Much better to be a year older with better grades and mayurity.
If he is motivated and is working extra hard to get Bs, it may be an attention issue. It happened with my kid, in mid high school. Please talk to your school and find out if they can do an evaluation. We had a private neuro psych evaluate our kid. School wasn’t interested because his grades weren’t low enough. And why is he a grade ahead? Agree with others about holding back. All high school placement for courses happen in 8th grade.
This kid is TWELVE years old and is ending eighth grade. It’s very possible there is nothing “wrong” with him at all. He might just be a TWELVE year old boy…acting like a twelve year old boy.
My DS is academically gifted and an October baby, so we had a choice in the state we lived in at the time between enrolling him in kindergarten before he turned five or waiting another year. My DH wanted to enroll him, so we did, and after a month we ended up pulling him out and putting him back in preschool. He just wasn’t ready developmentally. After kindergarten (which he hated) we homeschooled for one year, then placed him in a Montessori school for the next five years, and then a very small private school for 7/8 grades. He is now a senior, one of the oldest in his class (in another state), and at times I still see developmental lag compared to some of his friends. However, he is a valedictorian and doesn’t regret our decision at all.
So for us, it was developmental, but for others, it may be academic. Their brains may just not be maturing at the same time in different areas. In ten years no one will care how young my kid was when he graduated high school. So I agree with the others who suggest either repeating a grade at a different school, or homeschooling, or if there are Montessori schools in your area, look into those (they are less common in the upper grades, though - it depends on where you live).
It’s a tough decision but it’s better to remedy the situation now BEFORE high school starts and records become permanent and pertinent for college. And before your DS makes all those great high school friends.
He is going to ENTER his senior year as a 16 year old which isn’t that unusual, in California at least. My daughter turned 16 in November and is entering her senior year in the fall. If you hold him back at this point I would do it with more then just his academic record in mind. He has a social network you need to consider if he has a lot of friends and is involved in clubs or sports. If you want to uproot his life and switch to another entire social network, then I would make sure to include his perspective and I would also want to be pretty confident that doing that would change his academic record. It might be better just to look at how you can develop academic support. You say he is a hard worker, that will help as the kids that don’t work hard may start to slip in high school. One great benefit being a California resident is the community college system. If he is a just a late bloomer and continues to put in good effort in high school then his grades might be more important in community college then high school, so as you start talking about colleges in the future make sure you talk about the benefits of taking a few years at the community college and transferring from there.
From what I’ve seen of my boys and the friends of my boys, it’s not uncommon for the boys to lag with their social and emotional maturity. This is especially hard for boys who are very intelligent, since their IQ, test ability and raw processing power may be several years ahead of their age group, yet their social/emotional maturity (and executive function skills like organizing are part of that) is behind their age group - creates a tough gap.
Hmm, do you feel there is a mismatch between his ability and his performance? Working hard for B’s and C’s is actually pretty normal. School is supposed to be challenging and just “hard work” doesnt always equate to “A’s.”
studies routinely show that holding back kids does not help them unless there is a specific problem you can fix. Repeating 8th grade might make for a year of better 8th grade grades but “being older” isn’t magically going to fix issues making him struggle. He will head into 9th still not prepared to handle new work. Has this been a pattern? Is this something that popped up with impending puberty? Any unusual organizational issues? Has he been having any bully issues? Vision checked? What is the school’s reputation with Grade inflationnor lack there of. Have you spoken to his teachers for their perspective?
You say your child will be 16 starting senior year which is where my children were too. Eldest skipped a grade early, middle Started kindie at 4 due to a late state cut-off back when. Neither graduated/are graduating valedictorian but both are well up there with their passion for learning and faith in schooling in tact. Middle has some organizational issues that were a challenge in middle school and occasionally in high school but it’s more a factor of his personality than a disorder. Being young in itself doesn’t equate with struggle.
All that said, B and C students go to college. They may not go to Harvard but that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of options and not only community college. Some kids do a lot better with the college format.
First step, talk to teachers and find out what they are seeing or expecting. Get an idea how he really is lining up with peers.
First of all Thank you for replying to me.
To your question above, My son started 7th grade this year with lot of organizational issues i.e. Missing assignments, Home Work etc but he has improved a lot this semester and i am not seeing these organizational issues anymore but my main concern is towards his trajectory, he still has to put lot of extra hours to even be at the level of B’s and C’s and with lot of help from me but i am not sure if i can continue this trend when he goes to high school.
So we are confused if we should have him repeat 7th grade now or wait for him to figure this out himself ?
Has anyone gone through neuropsych evaluation for their kids ?
You might want to consider a comprehensive vision exam along with any other evaluations you are contemplating.
I know a HS student whose eyes weren’t tracking properly and the problem, once diagnosed, could be treated. All of a sudden, the time involved was far less and the results were far better.
Does he spend a lot of time on video games? That can distract from academics, especially for boys.
Talk to the school. Do they have any learning issues they see…find out.
Your school cannot do a neuropsych but they can do a comprehensive educational evaluation IF there is a request made and sufficient data to support this.
But really…your kid is a fifth grade age kid…doing seventh grade school work with seventh grade expectations.
Why is your kiddo two years ahead on school? That might help folks give you better suggestions what to do.
Hello
I was in your position 2 years ago with my oldest. He “struggled” (a C here and there) at the local magnet school along with forgetting homework, losing assignment, lack of motivation etc. I was convinced he was doomed academically but his math teacher told me something after a bad day that put the situation in context for me:
“That’s what 12 and 13 year old boys do”.
Today after some gentle and not-so-gentle prodding he is a fully functioning high school student. Is he perfect? No, but with maturity he now cares about academics and has solid grades and is active in sports and campus life. Sometimes as scary it can be with young boys you have trust the process and hope they get it before high school.
@thumper1 where do you get that he’s 5th grade age? He’s 12 right? OP said her son was starting senior year at 16, not graduating at that age. California didn’t change the K start age to 5 until recently. Fall babies (born before December 1st) would naturally be 12 within a couple months of starting 7th grade and they’d be in good company with many other 12-year-old peers. Unless this is a very heavy red-shifting district (which some are) this kid is not 2 years young for grade… just a couple months younger than the new standard.
Getting B’s and C’s is average. I think it’s unreasonable to think all hardworking kids will be pulling “A’s.” Many kids work hard and they get “B’s” at best. I would guess that learning disabilities would have been noticed by now but never hurts to explore. Organizational issues can cause extra problems in middle school but it’s also not atypical for the age.