I didnt finish reading this whole thread (but I will) so I hope I’m not repeating anyting. My advice: try not to hookup with someone on your floor. Find your romantic partners on other floors and in other dorms. Second, it’s tempting to make a few friends right away and feel secure, but it’s important to make friends in all different places. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket in case things don’t work out with your friend group. Third, never leave a party or bar alone after drinking. Always have people to walk with or call for a campus ride. Fourth, excercise as much as possible. It will ward off those blues.
I’m a junior. I also took university classes full-time in my last year of high school, so I’m essentially in my fourth year. My experience is different than most because my first two years were great, the third was pretty bad, and the fourth has been even worse so far. b-( Here’s my advice from that perspective:
1.) The main reason I’ve struggled is that I tried to take too many classes. Six classes is okay for me (at least when not working, which was the case freshman year), but seven isn’t. Instead of realizing that and doing something different, I tried seven classes for three semesters in a row and had a bad experience every time.
2.) Don’t shove yourself into a box you don’t belong in. For example, not everyone can or should be a computer science major, even if they love math, have done well in introductory classes, etc. It can take a while to figure this out, but it’s a bad sign if you suddenly developed an interest in something shortly after hearing it’s good for jobs. 
3.) When choosing your classes, take into account where they’re located and how long it takes to walk between buildings. Last spring, I had a class that ended at 10:20 and a class across campus that started at 10:30. There was no way to avoid being late.
4.) Don’t have preconceived notions about certain subjects being easy. I go to a STEM-oriented school and I feel like a lot of people have the mindset that everyone knows STEM fields are harder than humanities fields and we’re all just pretending it’s equal so humanities people won’t feel bad. This is completely false.
5.) I love Google Calendar, if there’s anyone in the universe who doesn’t already use it.
@halcyonheather , thanks for all the tips. Can you elaborate on why your junior and sophomore years were so bad? Was it just because you took too many classes? I can’t imagine any college lets students take seven classes. I did five one semester and it was doable, but what a lot of work. Most students take four if they are at a traditional college. Just wondering why you keep taking so many extra classes if you figured out that it makes things bad. Are you double majoring?
From garland:
I just want to stress this one again. If you go to a lecture and have not done the reading, it will not make as much sense and you will have questions that may not be clarified by the reading. If you have done the reading, the lecture makes sense, answers most of the questions you had, and reinforces the concept. Studying then becomes another layer of reinforcement, not the frustration treadmill of trying to catch up.
The ratio I use is 1 hour of early work is worth 3 hours of late work, so an hour of reading ahead saves 3 hours of catching up. It took me a while to learn this as a college student but I have drilled it into my kids and they are both doing well. They also are both tutors and see the same common mistakes: not going to class, not doing the reading, not paying attention, not asking for help early enough.
Not working for money is not an option for many. A dean told us that kids with a 10-15 hour/week job do better than kids without jobs, so I would consider “no job first semester” as one of the optional recommendations.
I am going to copy SouthFloridaMom’s and garland’s and bopper’s lists and save then for S2, a hs senior. Great thread, thanks to all.
That’s the main reason, but there are some others. The difficulty of my major (math) classes increased significantly, and I began to struggle with taking notes and understanding the material at the same time. In the fall of my sophomore year, I was trying to shoehorn myself into a double major with computer science that wasn’t a good fit. In the spring, I gave up on that and took some humanities classes out of interest, but I struggled in those because it had been a while since I thought about anything that way.
Most schools have an upper limit of 18 or 19 credit hours normally (about six classes). I got permission for overloads and took 21 to 23 hours.
It’s a misguided attempt to take advantage of my education as much as possible. If I want to take college classes when I’m older, they’ll be really expensive and hard to fit into my schedule, but right now I can take seven classes for the same price as four and it’s not even that much since I have scholarships. After the first bad semester, I told myself that I did badly because of the computer science classes. After the second one, I said it was because of the humanities. In the third bad semester, I did all math (except for one class) and finally realized that it doesn’t matter what the subjects are. I have done well with six classes before, so that’s what I’m doing this spring.
Not anymore, but I thought I would at the beginning of college.
Things like number of courses taken, when you need to buy books, etc. really depend on the school. At my D’s college, 4 classes is the norm and it’s a tough load to carry 5. As for early morning classes, it just depends on the student and when they are at their best…
I think you can help your child by making sure they have what they need (as in laptop, setting up their room, etc.) and giving a bit of advice regarding classes and how much time they may need to spend outside of class to keep up, but there is no real way to totally prepare kids for this step.
I told my D that she could call us anytime if she was having an issue or just needed to talk. We were lucky and she had an easy transition freshman year. She really bonded with her hall during orientation, made friends, liked her classes and her professors, her dorm, and even the food in the cafeteria. But I do know that things could have been different and I do think that it’s important for kids to know that it’s ok to call home if they are upset or if things aren’t going the way they had hoped.
@halcyonheather : Your post #81 is brilliant, brilliant! I’m going to share it with my daughter, a math major who has found that more classes than fewer are what is best for her pulse rate, and that keeping a fairly compelling work schedule helps her to know she has something to do at all times.
She is a real date book kind of girl, loves the paper, loves using special markers and pens and filling the grids in it. That being said, a few days ago she told me how wonderful Google calendar is for her: how simple, nearly-interactive and nearly instantly reflective of her change of plans it can be. She seemed to be floating when she said it.
Most colleges won’t unless the adviser and academic dean feels the student petitioning for an overload to that extent is up to it and signs off.
At my LAC when I attended, 16 credits or 5 classes and 1 lab is the max without asking for override permission unless one’s in the Conservatory or a Double-Degree student. There’s also the factor that at my LAC, any overloads beyond 16 credits will cause the student concerned to incur extra fees so it isn’t exactly something those of us on FA/scholarship packages or those who have financial constraints could afford unless there’s some outside scholarship to fund it like a few classmates who did overload.
In my entire undergrad, I’ve only known a few students who were granted permission for that override who weren’t Con/Double-Degree students. And only one of them took more than 6 courses…and no surprise he was one of the types who could carry that load, excel, and ended up graduating at 17 with high honors from an earlier graduating class than mine. And even he only did that once and admitted it was the hardest semester of his undergrad career.
I just finished my first semester. Most of the advice I would give has already been covered. I do want to add a piece of advice that applies to both parents and kids: keep the lines of communication open on grades.
There are a ton of kids at home over the break just dreading having to tell their parents how their classes went or how their GPA is holding up. I ended my first semester with a 3.93, and while much of it was due to getting the work done, it was also due to me being able to manage my stress. I talked to my parents about what my goals were, how I was doing in my classes, etc. That way, I didn’t feel stressed when things weren’t going my way or felt like I was going to disappoint them. I think parents need to make an effort to be understanding (rather than demanding) when it comes to first semester grades, and children need to make sure to keep parents in the loop. It lessens the stress for everyone, and allows you all to compare ideas on strategies to improve.
Some colleges charge extra for classes taken above the maximum allowed. At UW the max is 18, and to go up to 21 credits, it would cost an additional $1,000 per semester. D’s college charges even more. This will be spelled out in the tuition section of a college’s websites so it’s important to check the fees before assuming it’s free to add on. D did take 18 credits last semester and will again this spring. She likes to keep busy.
When I went to college, the course loads were, in credit units:
12 = minimum for full time status for financial aid purposes
13 = minimum for some divisions
15 = average load needed to graduate in 8 semesters in most majors (unless one brings in transfer or AP credit)
16-17 = average load needed to graduate in 8 semesters in some majors with large numbers of subject requirements (unless one brings in transfer or AP credit)
20.5 = nominal maximum per semester, but higher can be approved by one’s advisor
Most courses then were 4 credit units, but a significant number were 3 credit units, and courses existed from 1 to 6 credit units (0.5 credit unit courses were PE activities).
What I figured out was that courses with labs (or CS courses with programming assignments) were significantly higher workloads than those without. So were those with term projects (including H/SS courses). Probably art studio or performing art performance would also be big time commitments. A course that is intellectually difficult for the student (honors real analysis is often said to be such a course) may also consume a lot of time. So overloading with a bunch of non-lab non-term-project courses was certainly doable, but doing so when the courses involve labs or term projects was more risky in terms of workload.
What might work as a general estimate is that one can take 6 “courses”, but where courses with high workload features like labs, term projects, computer programming, art studio, performing art performance count as two (unless the lab or whatever is separated out into its own course, rather than being part of a course that otherwise has lecture/discussion/reading/homework/tests).
@halcyonheather thanks, that was very helpful. My D is a freshman and thinking of double majoring. Obviously it’s not for the faint of heart.
Hats off to you for taking so many classes every semester. I hope you have time for a bit of fun every now and then:-)
This has already been said, but to me it is worth repeating. My kid’s RA suggested at a first group meeting with advisees that the new frosh discuss the “hot” issues such as overnight guests in the room; drug use/ underage drinking in the dorm room; music/TV use in the dorm room; whether studying or socializing takes precedence in the room; whether sleeping or studying has precedence in the room; borrowing clothes, using appliances, etc. IMMEDIATELY before the issues actually arise.
My kid was in a suite and they followed this advice. 3 out of 4 voted no drugs in the room. The other one went ballistic. But hey, it made it a LOT easier for her roommate to stick up for herself knowing the suite mates agreed than it would have been if the roommate had walked in and found her smoking pot in the room. It didn’t stop her from smoking pot, but she never did it in the room, to everyone else’s relief.
It turned out that the same roommate had a boyfriend who was scheduled to finish first semester at another college earlier than she did. He had already booked a train reservation to come visit her during exam week and then fly home together. Roomies were split about overnight visitation of romantic partners. (2 of 4 had serious BFs.) The compromise was it was ok, except during reading period and exam week.So, the train trip got canceled. Again, better than finding out when he showed up. They also agreed on notification requirements—you had to let your roommate know before 11 pm if you were hosting an overnight guest so roommate could get toothbrush, PJs, etc. and find another place to sleep if she wanted to do so. No coming home at midnight finding your roommate’s BF in bed with her without prior notice.
My kid and roomie agreed that after 11 pm, sleeping took precedence over studying in the room. She was really happy they had agreed on this when she got home about 1 am and roommate had lights on working on a problem set. Roomie definitely wanted “just another hour” to finish, but reluctantly left when reminded of the agreement.
During the day, agreement was socializing took precedence over studying. So, if you came back to the room with a friend after class and the roomie was studying, she was the one who had to leave if she couldn’t study with a conversation going on in the room.
I’m not suggesting the answers my kid and roomies arrived at are the right answers. I am only saying I think it was really smart to argue these out at the start rather than when they actually arose.
Great advice, @jonri . This makes it a negotiation up front rather than a confrontation ( in which one person feels he//she is being accused of being “wrong”) at a far more excitable moment.
At one of the universities D18 and I visited recently, we were told that the RAs arrange and facilitate such “suite mate meetings” to establish the house rules at the very start of the year. Sheldon Cooper’s Roommate Agreement isn’t such a crazy concept after all!
My daughter’s school made them do agreements early on. They aren’t supposed to have any overnight guests the first 2 weeks, and they are supposed to have a roommate agreement in place by then. So agreement in place before guests.
Advice for freshman me:
-Join a fraternity (if you can afford it)
-Make as many friends as you possibly can early on, no “I’m just settling in. I’ll make friends in a few weeks.” No… the first day
-Get good at a sport, join the sport club
-Step your game up (lift every day, gain weight, nice clothes, go on more dates)
-Study hard and get all A’s
-Pick mostly classes that are useful for your career
-Get good summer internships
Books - based on my employment at a community college (as well as being parent of private school & college students):
Buy the books from your preferred source.
Save your receipt(s).
Don’t remove any shrinkwrap, don’t try out the cd or online access code.
Just leave the book(s) in pristine returnable condition until you go to the first class, know the class is not canceled or you decide to change your schedule, etc.
Following this advice can make the difference between a 100% money back return or having to wait till end of semester for used-price buyback.
Depending on where you purchase your books, pay attention to the return window. I think at our college they were only returnable for 1 week after classes started.
One of the best things my son did was to complete 6hrs during the summer session at our local community college before he started at the university. This allowed him to take 12 hours each semester his first year and not get behind. He took another 9hrs before his sophomore year. A 3hr class at community college cost $177 while a 3hr class at his university is $900. It’s one of the best decisions he made.
This is a great question with great responses.
To add to this-- (This is a long post, so ignore if you want!)
With my fifth kid going to college now, I can only say that there is a huge range in what the challenges will be.
Time management is a huge issue for many students. The post earlier on about just going to class is huge–my kids remarked on this many times, how kids would just cut class. I remember in one of my D’s classes, a morning class, many of the kids cut regularly, so that the class was often half-filled. Finally the professor, a very well respected and very influential person in the professional world, asked the class in exasperation, “Why don’t you come to class?” And the students had excuses! Like, they ‘had to’ stay up for this club they were in that was in the same field as the class the prof taught. The prof said, “Don’t you see that you’re here to learn from me? That I’m the expert?” Apparently not. I’m willing to bet that most parents had no idea why their kid got a C or whatever in that class, nor that their kids were wasting opportunities for connections.
This is something parents and kids can have a talk about beforehand–building connections is one of the main reasons you go to college (aside from education). Connections with professors are invaluable for not just learning, but in references later on, in landing internships and research opportunities via word of mouth, etc. Talk to the professors after and/or before class. Go to the professor’s office hours.
As for fellow students-remember you are not just finding friends; you are also building long term relationships for the post-grad world. Do not be unkind to anyone, not just because it’s wrong, but also because you never know how that person will re-enter your life later on. Be kind to all students and professors; also be kind to secretaries, custodians, building managers, etc. This is not just a good policy as a human being, but a good policy in life.
Tied into time management, I will have to bring up drugs. One thing that a lot of kids do is, unfortunately, take drugs not just the obvious of alcohol and hard party drugs, but also, very commonly, amphetamines like Ritalin so that they can turn in their essays last minute or stay up late to study. The Ritalin is very common and has been going on for a long while now. Obviously this is bad for their health and also it’s a bad idea to get dependent on the drugs and think they have to do them to manage their time. More kids use amphetamines than you would think.
Keep the lines of communication open. There is no one way a student is supposed to feel or be in college. For most of my own kids, they loved their first semester–loved it. It was only the second year that reality started hitting and they ran into personal challenges. Part of this is natural growing up–you cant grow if you don’t learn to overcome challenges. One of my kids, though, had bad first year and ended up leaving college the middle of his second year; he took a few years off (and worked) then returned as a transfer. Some of the issues he suffered with included bullying and depression. If this happens to you, you are not alone. Everyone grows at their own rate. And depression and other issues are very real. I think it’s very important for parents to make sure they have access to good medical care (not just the student healthcare). Review how to self-diagnose issues and what to do if this or that physical or mental health symptom comes up. Many kids don’t even know how to take care of themselves even during something minor, like, say, a stomach flu, or in the case of bronchitis. Review this beforehand.
Also, almost all students will encounter crises–drugs, alcohol, assault, highly toxic unstable roommates, suicidal ideation. This could be your kid or it could be their roommate or best friend. Again, keep the lines of communication open, and review how to deal with these various issues. It’s a hard balance because you don’t want to be hovering or infantilizing. At the same time, you don’t want to have your kid - for example- have their roommate say, “I’m going to kill myself,” and then they have to deal with this alone and not really know what to do, or feel they can’t talk about it to anyone.
For my own kids, I actually think the biggest hurdle was finding close friends (not casual friends). A poster earlier up suggests finding lots of friends early on. My kids don’t work like that. They don’t make casual friendships. Real friendships take time to forge. Definitely sometimes you can luck out and fall into a friendship with someone - a roommate, say - but that doesn’t always happen. I’d say the majority of Freshmen are lonely, and they all think they’re the only ones. So my advice is to remember that although most of the kids will look happy and popular, most of them in fact are struggling just like anyone else. Friendships and connections take time. Don’t be afraid to join activities you are interested in–don’t worry if they are cool or uncool as long as they are something you enjoy. If you love unwinding by geeking out playing video games, then find a group that likes to do that.