Advice for college freshmen to avoid a rough start their first semester away

Parents Forum
101

@ucbalumnus

This varies by college. At Oberlin, if one maxes out on 16 credits for most of their undergrad years, one can get away with taking lighter courseloads later on.

This was exactly what I ended up doing though the amount of credits I needed in my last 2 semesters was so low I had to balance that with the concern some potential employers/grad schools may have thought I flunked courses due to senioritis as if I did 12 one semester of senior year, I would have needed far less than 12 in the other senior semester to fulfill the required credits for graduation.

And that’s not including the credits I received for taking a summer course with some FA/scholarship coverage at an elite U one summer for credit.

102

Our DD overloaded every semester, and saved a bucket of money. CHeck the school policy…she figured out that her school allows as many units as she wanted as long as she maintained her GPA. By reducing her work commitment and taking an extra class each semester, she saved a semester’s tuition.

103

As a current student, I can relay some of the things my parents did that proved helpful to me. During the year before I started school, I gradually took on many of the responsibilities previously held by my parents: laundry, cooking, appointments, etc. Doing these things at home was great because I not only learned the necessarily skills for independent living, but I also had the rest of my household to fall back on if I made a mistake. By the time I left in August, I had no problem managing things by myself, since it had become a routine when I still felt comfortable at home.

Similarly, I was responsible for a lot of my dorm shopping–not only in the actual purchasing, but in list-making as well. I researched my dorm room and made sure that I got everything that I needed, so I felt more in control of my situation when I actually unpacked during move-in. On that note, my parents also made sure to leave fairly early on move-in day to let me settle myself into my dorm room. Don’t get me wrong; they helped me unload the car and put together heavy objects, but I was the one to unpack everything and set up the room. It was definitely hard for my mom, but I think it was a good idea. It forced me to socialize with my new hallmates rather than hanging out with my parents for the rest of the day.

As several people have mentioned, I also find it comforting to have a set time to call/skype my parents every week. I think I called home a lot less for little things because I knew that I would be talking with them later in the week.

Other than that, I’ll second the common advice of reading the syllabus, early starts, office hours, electronic calendars, etc. I personally use a spreadsheet to keep track of my homework, since it allows me to sort by deadlines and keep track of assignment details–but if you(r child) prefer(s) another method, that’s fine. As long as you make an honest effort to complete every assignment, you should see the results you deserve.

Edit: Also, if applicable, take any AP exams you can. I know so many people who took an AP class but didn’t take the exam because they didn’t think it would matter in the long run (spoiler: it might). Having transfer credits gives you so much scheduling freedom, so unless none of the colleges you’re applying to accept the credit, take the exam.

104

Go to class. I tell my kids to sit in the front so it is harder to skip. Meet with your professors in their office hours. (helps them put a face with a name) Take notes from the reading and put them in with your notes from class so you have one place to study from prior to tests. Sit by the smart kids and study with them to challenge yourself and also learn in a different way. Call your mom every Sunday. (that is my rule lol) Try not to drink and if you do then only do it on one night. Get some sleep and go to bed at a decent time. Join a social activity, club or organization or church. Find the place you can really study and lose yourself in the books. For me, it was the library on the 3rd floor with the big tables where I could spread all of my stuff out. Go to the football games even if it is not your thing. Help someone else adjust because if you are busy helping someone else, you forget about yourself. Exercise. I made my son promise to go to the gym at least three times a week. (helps with stress)

105

If one is going to do this, be sure to make a serious attempt to making genuine friends with them by including them in one’s own social activities and to not bombard them with too many questions or otherwise attempt to use them as personal crib sheets/dictionary.

Bombarding smart kids with questions or attempting to use them as personal crib sheets/dictionaries is not only extremely annoying for the smart kids, it’s also an exceedingly jerky thing to do as no one wants to feel like they’re being used*.

Especially for tasks which should be tackled by the student attempting to use the smart kids as his/her academic crutch**. Only exceptions to this are if one’s close friends or if the student asking for help is conscientiously returning the favor in some manner or it’s a paid tutor arrangement.

  • This isn't limited to college/school, but also applies to many areas of the adult world. For instance, one presidential candidate ended up failing to get much support from many senior members of his own party during the primaries precisely because he seemed to have a history of using many of those senior members for his personal advancement without showing much gratitude or even acknowledgement of their critical help in starting and facilitating his political career earlier.

** Students should be asking themselves “Is this a question I can answer by expending a smidgen of my own time/effort to look it up/figure it out myself?” first before turning to others for help.

106

@superstarlala excellent point about nothing being “permanent.” This concept helps prevent the tendency toward all or nothing thinking or the belief that things will never change, whether academically or socially, that seems to block good coping. There is always a solution to most situations, though sometimes painful, this keeps hope alive.

107

Mentioned elsewhere, but I left if off my list, and I’m going to shout now:

READ THE SYLLABUS.

Professors joke about wearing T-shirts that say that. You have to see the emails we get to fully understand that. But beyond the fact that “what’s today’s reading?” or “I overslept; what did I miss today” or “when’s the paper due?” questions irk your prof, you can also materially hurt yourself.

Didn’t know there’s an attendance policy? It’s in the syllabus.
Didn’t know we were signing up for conferences that day? It’s in the syllabus.
Didn’t know homework assignments aren’t accepted late? It’s in the syllabus.
Didn’t know ??? …It’s in the syllabus.

I spend most of the first day going over this, too. But I can’t keep re-reading it to everyone all semester.

108

I wrote up a list of suggestions a while back for UCLA students at http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-california-los-angeles/384364-some-tips-for-succeeding-at-ucla-2007-edition-p1.html While a couple are UCLA specific, most are generally applicable

109

Thank you @mikemac. Very thorough!

110

This is a great thread. As the parent of a college freshman and sophomore I can echo most of what is said up thread. but what kept flashing through my mind as I read it was the need to be intentional about your time. It isn’t so much about whether you do or don’t take 8 am classes, heavy load to save money or light load to adjust. Each person is different but college is not a great place for just coasting through doing what comes naturally in the moment. You need to think about and plan out the time management strategies that work for you in your situation and then follow them. One of my kids had a tough transition from the highly structured world of high school and family life to the free flowingness of college. In her case this led to putting too much time into studying and underlying anxiety at all times that there was probably something different she should be doing.

111

I was part of a college student panel at my high school. A lot of things said in this thread we mentioned to the high school seniors.

My two cents: you don’t have to be friends with the people you sit next to, but classmates can become your study buddies. It’s a bit of psychology in that being surrounded by those who are invested in their workloads motivates you to focus on your studies. Ex: The guy who sat in front of me took better notes, so I asked him if we could study together after dinner. We ended up collaborating and created a study guide for the next exam.

For group projects, set expectations during the first meeting. Conflict may happen over time, and open communication prevents progress to become negatively affected.

112

As a current freshman, I would say it’s super important to stress to your kid that it’s a time of a lot of emotions, but it’s perfectly normal! They may not always want to share their emotions with you, but it’s important to let them know that you are there for them if they need it! My first semester went relatively smoothly, but there were definitely times where I experienced a wide range of emotions. I’m personally very close with my family, so I have no problem reaching out to them to express what I’m feeling and what I’ve gone through. It can seem like there are some kids who are eating up every moment and claiming that people they met two weeks ago are their “best friends,” while the rest of us are still finding our tribe and immersing ourselves in the campus community. So if your child feels like they are the only one who still doesn’t feel 100% settled, it’s totally normal, and a lot more kids feel that way than one might think.

From a health standpoint, freshmen year everyone gets sick. You’re living with tons of new people from all over the country, and it’s super easy to catch the “freshmen plague.” I had mono my senior year of high school, so going into first semester, my immune system was already a bit compromised, so I got sick a LOT with fever, sinus infections, etc. I would make sure that prior to your child starting school that they are taking vitamins, drinking water, the whole nine yards, to prevent catching those bugs. Although we packed medicine and all, I never really thought much about preparing my immune system beforehand for handling sick kids and getting adjusted to a new routine!

Best of luck! :slight_smile:

113

@UAHAdmissions This post makes me wonder why these types of questions cannot simply be part of the housing questionnaire before suite assignments are even made. The only two questions Housing asks is regarding room temperature and what hours the student prefers to keep. My daughter wants to find suite mates who have no intention whatsoever of drinking, drugs, or boyfriends ever sleeping over. She is afraid of making herself hated and being in a miserable suite situation if she can’t find suite mates who have the same expectations. How can she connect with suite mates who will be the right fit? She did attend Admitted Students Day, but there was not a time specifically for finding suite mates, and she was shy about just asking strangers. Surely UAH could be a little more helpful with this.

114

@UAHAdmissions I am referring to Post #92 on this thread.

115

When my D started freshmen year a few years ago, I advised her to take less credits in the first semester to test the water temperature. She was a high achieving students in high school, but almost everyone in her college were too. This is particularly important for students with a relatively high GPA requirement for merit scholarship renewal, also for those that have a lot of AP credits that skipped most of the introductory courses. Both were the case for my D and she almost started college like in sophomore year.

116

@georgiamom50 maybe she could request being in wellness housing or possibly all female dorms? those two are options at the school i’ll be attending

117

@bry463 Thanks, but those are not options at this school. Thankfully, every student gets her own bedroom within a four-bedroom suite, though, which is really nice! We just need help finding compatible roommates. I know they’re out there, but it’s hard to get acquainted before school actually starts. We feel like a more detailed housing application would be very helpful.

118

@georgiamom50 i’m in complete agreement with you, my school’s survey is 6 questions and i must room with people in my LLC so it’s been challenging. my best recommendation would be looking at the FB page for the class of '21 for your daughter’s school as many people tend to post things about themselves on there. i’d be 100% sure to go over living habits/who may come over as it’s hard to pick up on such things from how people portray themselves on social media. wish you the best of luck!

119

A two-hour math class is a loooong time to stay focused, particularly if the professor is not gifted at teaching. My daughter zones out and then teaches herself outside of class. She’s learned that it would be much better to take four one-hour than two two-hour classes.

120

@garland , It would be helpful if you (and other professors) would send an Email to the students coming in to your class, saying something like this: “Dear Student, Often the advice is given to wait to buy the books for a class. This may be helpful financial advice for some classes. However, that students in my class will definitely be using ______ on Day 1. If you need to stagger your purchases, please at least purchase this book before the start of classes. Then you will need to have ________ by Day 15. I want you to succeed, and you’ll need to have these materials in order to do so.” That’s the kind of communication that respects the students and understands that there ARE, in fact, a lot of dollars wasted on unused books, and this could be a financial burden to many families. Thanks!