<p>
</p>
<p>That is really awesome and apropos. Isn’t there something about “pursuit of happiness” in the declaration. </p>
<p>Looks like your ancestors are on your sister’s side :).</p>
<p>Alix:</p>
<p>If your parents asked you for your input, that changes the situation entirely. Please ignore my earlier comments.</p>
<p>
Haha yes, but i’m not sure if William Whipple (delegate from New Hampshire) would agree women are entitled to education, they left that part out! And don’t forget the right to Liberty; it’s my parents money, they have the right to spend it as they see fit. </p>
<p>Marite, I will definitely suggest colleges to her that are more elite but still like Geneseo (LAC’s like Bucknell and Lehigh?). Yeah this is unusual, so many parents can’t pay for their kids dream school; we’re so lucky money isn’t an issue but there’s nothing wrong with SUNY schools and Geneseo is also amazing.</p>
<p>If your sister really loves Geneseo, that’s where she should go. Your parents should bank the money they are saving by that choice, and make it available to your sister for grad school if she so chooses. If she does opt for a graduate degree, the prestige factor for that degree will mean a lot more… once someone has a Masters, JD, PhD, MBA, etc… no one ever asks where they went to undergrad.</p>
<p>Yep. And when she’s a senator she’ll have those “I’m just a regular folk” stories in her sack of tales.</p>
<p>Haha well she wants to be an anthropologist and travel the world and study different cultures. (I guess she’ll be running to our parents for money down the road…)</p>
<p>I do appreciate in the input, a lot of you helped me step into my parents shoes. It is their money and they should play a bigger role than I originally thought.</p>
<p>Calmom, thank you so much for that detailed PM. I’m glad everything worked out with your son and I did pass along the story to my mom (although she loved Barnard). They’re trying to compromise right now by picking more “elite” schools she likes that are similar to Geneseo, although she’s written her essay and it seems to be her first choice still.</p>
<p>In a family, it is not ‘their’ money (the parents), it is a joint family resource. The parents made the child, they can’t just keep all the money to themselves.</p>
<p>
No, it’s their money, earned by the jobs they have worked for the last 20 years. My siblings and I don’t contribute to their salary, my brother and I are legally adults living off our parents charity. And how are they keeping all the money to themselves? They are paying out of pocket for Princeton ($200k), NYU ($170k) and now they’re going to pay out of pocket for another college (all 3 at once); how are they hogging all the money?</p>
<p>Parents aren’t obligated to pay for college, or even food/shelter/clothes after 18. My parents have been really generous, and we are more than grateful. All 3 of us have part time jobs, but we live off of our parents. So many other students are struggling with debt and loans, and we’re so lucky. And they’re not obligated to spend their money on 3 adult children.</p>
<p>What a refreshing attitude!</p>
<p>OK, then it is ‘their’ money before you are 18 too. They are not ‘obligated’ to buy you Christmas presents or the occasional icecream, or a new pair of shoes. Lucky you got some ‘charity’ there too.</p>
<p>Why is it either/or? Can’t sister apply to “her” schools and to “parents’” schools? I hear it’s pretty easy to be rejected from the elites.</p>
<p>Whether SUNY or Ivy, attendance and graduation can’t happen unless an acceptance is in hand.</p>
<p>Sorghum - I don’t understand the point you’re trying to make at all. You’re saying my parents are being selfish - well, they’re paying out of pocket for 3 colleges, when so many parents don’t have the means to do so or refuse to, and we’re getting a free ride with no loans to pricy schools - how is that selfish? You’re also saying their money is automatically our money as well, it’s not only for them to spend - but I don’t get that either. We’re not three 6 year olds, we’re legally adults and they’re under no obligation to pay for college or anything. </p>
<p>Doug - she wants to do ED to a SUNY where she is almost guaranteed acceptance, and after ED you can’t apply to other schools…but i think i’ve almost persuaded her to do EA there instead and apply to some of our parents schools as well…makes sense, right?</p>
<p>Remind your Dad of founding father Thomas Jefferson’s thoughts on public institutions of higher education. He attended one and founded another. 16 signers of the Declaration of Independence attended William & Mary - a public school.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Would your sister be competitive for merit money at her first choice? I think it would be very much in keeping with your family history for her to strike out on her own. </p>
<p>Also, have you spoken directly with your parents about their attitude towards a State U? It seems contradictory to the way you’ve been raised; that each must earn their own to be considered independent. </p>
<p>In a family where each child is expected to be responsible for their own success, it would follow that where the children go to college is not seen as a feather in the cap of the parents.</p>
<p>Cartera - They have nothing against public institutions; I almost went to William & Mary and they liked it. William & Mary is a very elite public school, whereas most people haven’t heard of Geneseo, even here in NY State! I will suggest William & Mary though because it’s a beautiful, small rural school with an excellent reputation. I’ve also suggested Lehigh and Bucknell, two LACs in Pennsylvania which have great reputations as well. </p>
<p>Pugmadkate, my family history (at least on mom’s side) consists mostly of privileged WASPs attending elite schools. 
Also, I don’t know if we’ve really been raised to be indepedent or responsible for our own success…both my brother and I could have gone to college for free at CUNY or SUNY and made it on our own, but I guess we’re spoiled. 
If any of you are from the Northeast, we make a big fuss over “elite schools” here, and if you’re Northeastern upper class it’s seen as strange to head off to the local state U when you have better options. So I think a compromise is definitely in order…she shouldn’t be forced to go to a school she doesn’t like, but they definitely should have input since it’s their money.</p>
<p>William & Mary would be a great alternative to Geneseo. How about Vassar or Sarah Lawrence? Or Bowdoin or Middlebury?</p>
<p>It IS a bit strange suggesting more expensive alternatives, though! :)</p>
<p>Alix- you are wonderful!!</p>
<p>You are lucky your parents are able to send you and your siblings to expensive private schools. They are blessed with intelligent and appreciative kids. </p>
<p>In your sister’s case, I agree that Geneseo is a fine school with a fine reputation. May not be known outside NYS but that should not make a difference in the long run. A friends daughter just graduated from Adelphi (not a prestigious or known school outside of NY or maybe the metro area) with a degree in Anthropology and is headed to NYU to pursue a masters degree in the fall. (My own son is off to Buffalo for engineering in the fall and after being accepted to all schools applied to he chose UB due to the cost and high ranking in his field. This was his choice. He could get hte same education in Engineering, as per the USNWR ranking of undergrad engineering) at Syracuse, RIT, Delaware, etc. but made a wise choice for himself. This is his college experience, my husband and I already had ours!!</p>
<p>For business, etc, USNWR and ranking is important. I can’t believe the same for Anthropology. As someone stated earlier, they should save their money to pay for your sister’s grad school. Still have money left over, great, give you all money for a down payment on a condo/house in the future. </p>
<p>It may help your sister to agree to look at some other schools she will consider (and not necessarily those your parents force on her). The rural LAC’s are good ideas and she mau find one she likes and your parents like the expensive pricetag!!! Try Lafayette and Franklin and Marshall. Your sister may actually like one of these and see it as a viable alternative to Geneseo. (By the way, my husband loved Geneseo on my sons tours of schools. That was my husbands first choice but my sons last choice!!! Good thing my son stuck to engineering, which Geneseo does not have!!!)</p>
<p>Good luck. You are a good brother.</p>
<p>The SAT scores required for William & Mary and Geneseo are actually comparable - W&M a bit higher but not significantly so. Geneseo likely has a similar student body to a school like William & Mary. I’m sure, as another poster said, a lot of kids from New York don’t get in there. I hope there is a way for your sister to go where she wants - she could do a lot worse.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I am from the Northeast and most of my family is still there. Never have I been happier that my son is attending high school in Texas than I am right now. I remember the craziness from my high school days and am very happy that my son is on a far more sane path to college. </p>
<p>The boarding school comment clarified your situation a bit for me. I do think it is a shame as your sister is really asking for such a reasonable thing.</p>
<p>My siblings and I all went to public schools (one of the top 15 public HS’s in the country, but still public!) so they don’t have that boarding prep-school mentality. It’s weird, I was on my sister’s side when I posted but now I’m leaning toward my parents (maybe you parents swayed me? :)) They’re not saying she can’t go to Geneseo; they’ll pay for whatever college she ultimately chooses, they just don’t want her to do ED so she’ll have more options. I mean, most parents want their child to have the best of everything and get a strong education, and she’s smart and can have her pick of schools, and they have the means to pay for them - she should at least explore her options. Plus I just found out from one of her friends that her boyfriend is applying early to a SUNY, so maybe that explains the sudden attachment to Geneseo?</p>
<p>I do appreciate all the advice and college suggestions. I’m afraid the financial argument won’t work though; they have the means to pay for pricy undergrads, grad/law/med schools, future down payments, etc, but my parents have instilled this work ethic in us from an early age…they will pay for 4 years of college, that’s it. After that it’s up to us, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.</p>