<p>Convincing my mom to let me go far away for college! I'm an only child and I'm 16 years old (I'll be 17 when I start college) and I'm from NYC. I'm interested in schools like Rice, but when I asked her if I could go to Texas she said no because of the costs of traveling or in case anything happened. </p>
<p>Since she only makes 40k, If I get into one of those top schools I can most likely go for free saving her a lot of money, and the only thing she'd ever have to pay for would be travel. Besides that aspect I don't know how else to convince her, any ideas?</p>
<p>Hmm. Isn’t there a compromise you can make? The northeast has more excellent colleges than the rest of the country put together. Surely you can find one that is a couple of hours away that would also give you a chance to live away and experience independence.
Boston, maybe? Connecticut? Rhode Island? New Jersey? Honestly, since it’s an economic decision, I think you need to respect your mom’s situation and look for a closer alternative. There are SO MANY great schools at a reasonable distance away.</p>
<p>My son was an hour and a half from my home and he may as well have been on the other side of the country as often as we saw him. Except- when it came time for the holidays, it was so great that he could jump in the car and be home in a flash. It’s really a savings, both in time and money, to be close.</p>
<p>An income of 40k is low enough for close to free at “meets need” schools, so yes, this student would receive a full need based-scholarship, save a student contribution that could be met by working part time. </p>
<p>I second that bio-dad’s income/assets need to be evaluated. </p>
<p>OP, if your mom is worried about costs, show her the numbers! Rice has a financial calculator right on its website. Sit down together and fill it out. She might now know how much aid you would receive. If it’s about something else, talk to her about at least applying and then discussing further come spring. Many of the top schools (like Rice) will fly out low income students to visit. So don’t be shy about asking.</p>
<p>OP I would second the Holocene post, and add that since you are definitely on the young side, maybe compromise with your mom by taking a gap year AFTER you get accepted to your dream school and staying close to home, doing a worthwhile project/job? Perhaps the idea of transitioning would help?</p>
<p>When you look up the Cost of Attendance (COA) on each institution’s website, pay attention to the items included. Not all of them will include a figure for transportation, and even if this is included, your own costs may be significantly more. Take all of that into account when you compare real costs.</p>
<p>My own mom discouraged me from applying to one college in MA because it was “too far”, but another in PA was OK because most of her family was in that state. It gave her comfort to know that in an emergency I had two aunts each less than two hours away by car, and to know I would always have somewher to go for fall break, Thankgiving, and spring break. I went home to the Midwest only for winter break and the summers.</p>
<p>As luck would have it, my own Happykid is just 70 minutes away. We can see each other (or not) whenever we feel like it. Popping over for Parents weekend, her multiple productions each term (theater design major), or for her birthday is easy to do. My parents came to visit me at college exactly once: for my graduation. I had other friends with parents far away who weren’t able to do even that.</p>
<p>Your mom loves you, and probably isn’t sure you are ready to leave home just yet. She also knows that she will miss you when you are gone, and is concerned about how both of you will handle the distance.</p>
<p>If mom is a single mom, and this is her only child, then I can understand why she wouldn’t want you so far away. You’re her family and she doesn’t have the income to be able to jump on a plane and visit when she wants. </p>
<p>Yes, full need schools are great, but they also don’t provide the funds for students to go home very often…sometimes the COA for transportation is so low that the one way flight in the fall and the flight home in the spring exceed the estimate. </p>
<p>Again, if there is a non-custodial parent, then his income will also get included. If he won’t fill out the paperwork, then aid will not be processed.</p>
<p>I agree with the other posters that your father’s income will be a factor. This is something you need to discuss with your mother now. You can leave the geographic discussions for later.</p>
<p>It’s hard to tell whether you can get your mother to budge on the geographic issue, but as moonchild said, you can get the independence you want without flying to Texas. How about Massachusetts or the Washington, DC area? Both are close enough and accessible enough that your mom would feel comfortable that she could help you out (or you could help her out) in an emergency, but they’re far enough away that she won’t be dropping in unexpectedly. And both have an interesting variety of colleges.</p>
<p>Even simpler: If you’re qualified for Rice, you’re probably also qualified for Cornell. It’s in-state – your mom probably wouldn’t object. But boy is it a pain in the backside to get to – especially in the winter. If your mom doesn’t enjoy five-hour bus rides (which tend to turn into ten-hour bus rides in the winter because of the snow) or flights that routinely get cancelled, she won’t show up on campus very often.</p>
<p>You can look at airfares and timing- though schedules can change, it will give you an idea of costs, esp at high travel times. (My TX friend books months in advance to get her kid back and forth to NYC- or to occasionally visit- and still bites the bullet.) </p>
<p>You can run the NPC, but you don’t know what you get til the offer comes in. Very few packages make private colleges completely free. There will be, at a minimum, an expectation for you to contribute from summer earnings, take work study, and depending on particulars and the Dad situation (including child support,) plus any assets, there could also be a “family contribution.”</p>
<p>I suggest you sit down with your Mom and find out what she really can afford. As others have said flights etc. may not be covered in the financial aid package. You may come in for a happy surprise though - when my nephew (who lives in DC) compared the costs of travel to Houston (easy direct flights) vs. Cornell (not so much) along with other aspects of the packages he was offered, Rice ended up as the winner. </p>
<p>After you know what is affordable you can (if she is willing to let you travel that far) apply more widely as long as you agree not to make a fuss if the financial package is not within the budget. The more homework you do and the calmer you are the more you will be able to convince your Mom that you are mature enough to go far away.</p>
<p>I’m estranged from my father and he lives (and always has lived in the Dominican Republic) so that’s not going to be a factor. I do have other options set up just in case but it is my dream school and I’m applying for lots of scholarships so maybe if I had enough I could pay for my mom to visit? Not sure. Anyways thanks guys for your comments they’ve been a big help!</p>
<p>Estranged and living abroad, but has he provided any financial support for you over the years? Just FYI, “meets need” also often includes at least some student loans. So using scholarship money to fly your mom to see you would not be a good idea, as you want to graduate with as little debt as possible. Why are you so set on Texas? Also, what are your stats and majors you are interested in? We might be able to suggest some specific schools for you that would satisfy you and your mom if you provide more info.</p>
<p>Of course fare can go up on holidays or short notice, but they also run regular specials. Houston, like NYC is kind of a hub - so that makes the cost cheaper than some other places.</p>