<p>Hi can anyone give me tips for helping my dad see my choice of college is a better fit for me then state university he went to and absolutely loves!!! I choose my college because it is closer, smaller, has an awesome OT program and a lot more of my friends are going there. He wants me to go to his Alma Mater and finds all sorts of reason why his school is better. My mom wants me to be happy and go where I have best chance to succeed. I just don't want to fight and or have my dad mad at me. I am good kid use to party in earlier high school days but now I don't, but worried about falling back into that again if I select his college choice since that school has big party scene and only kids I really know likes to party. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. My older sister went to college 1200 miles away and he never gave her hard time of where she went. I want this to be fun and good time for me and my parents but he takes all fun out of things unless it is his university we are doing things for. Sorry this is so long just needed to get off my chest. Thanks ahead of time for any advice I get.</p>
<p>Are the costs for the two options about the same?</p>
<p>Very close mine is a private school that is offering me a scholarship for leadership that makes it a tad lower then his.</p>
<p>Then don’t let him make your life decisions cause after all you will be the one spending four years in college</p>
<p>Just show him your post. If the costs are similar, then it totally makes sense to go to the smaller private school. You have carefully thought out all of the pros and cons, and thus based on your post, your dad should know that you have analyzed it rather than making an emotional decision like he is doing.</p>
<p>Biggest con to going to the state school is the risk of falling back into your old party ways. What if you flunk out of college due to partying. I think that it’s admirable that you are trying to keep temptation at bay.</p>
<p>Pros of private school, besides what you already listed:
Smaller class size: makes is harder to skip class coz profs notice,
More personalized attention…not feeling like you are at the DMV every time you try to do something administratively
More intimate instruction:
More accountability
More people know you</p>
<p>Pros of the state school: more school name recognition</p>
<p>He’s making an emotional decision…win him over with your logic. Your private schools seems like the no-brainer, obvious winner to me.</p>
<p>Suggestions to help sell your Dad
- ensure the scholarship is for 4 years
- check if there is a GPA minimum to keep the scholarship - if yes, be ready to make agreements with your Dad about complying
- gather/compare job and grad school stats for both programs
- if he is concerned about you being too close to home, explain that you will be independent</p>
<p>Try not to say negative things about his alma mater. He loves it and may be offended if you diss it. Instead, express appreciation for his enthusiasm for his school and then say why you think your choice is good for YOU.</p>
<p>Be polite, but stick with your choice. After you’re enrolled, your dad will “deal with it”.</p>
<p>Lydia~thanks you are right.</p>
<p>YoHo~ love the name, thanks I do have a list and this helps.</p>
<p>C Mom~great help and my choice has a rated master in OT, he is afraid I won’t get in.</p>
<p>Calla~hopefully I didn’t come across negative for the first time I actually am positive and excited about my future in school.</p>
<p>Mom of 2~not to sound mean but my dad is kinda a bully, I will try my best to stick to my guns</p>
<p>Everyone have a great day and thanks for saying nice things was worried a little for my first post.</p>
<p>I’m going to push back a bit, trying to read between the lines from what you said. What’s the REAL reason you want to go to this closer school? Is it because your friends are going there–and is it because one very special friend is going there? How does your preferred school compare in general rankings and perceived quality to your dad’s alma mater?</p>
<p>In other words, does your dad think you’re selling yourself short and going to an inferior local school because your girlfriend/boyfriend is going there? I don’t know if any of this is involved, but you do need to be honest with yourself about your motivations, and at least consider the possibility that your dad may know some things you don’t know.</p>
<p>I had similar concerns to Hunt’s. I don’t think going to a college because your friends are going there is really a very good reason to pick a school. The quality of the program and the affordability should be the primary concerns. If you want to convince your father, focus on how the OT program at your school of choice is the best one for you.</p>
<p>Also, large state universities contain every type of person. Just because the ones you know party, does not mean that you will need to do so. You will quickly meet other people. You may not even see your local acquaintances at all. Your paths will rarely cross unless you want them to.</p>
<p>You posted this on the parents’ forum, so you have willingly subjected yourself to the parental BS detector–which is good, because you want to know how to discuss this with your dad, who knows your own personal brand of BS better than anyone here.</p>
<p>For example, it’s obvious to me that your argument that your dad’s alma mater is a party school that will cause you to party is baloney. That’s not your reason for not wanting to go there–indeed, it’s clear that you want to party with your friends.</p>
<p>As I said, make sure you’re honest with yourself about your reasoning, and you can be more honest with your dad.</p>
<p>Just another parent who wants to say not to go to a college because your HS friends are going there. It’s not a great reason and will not open your world up.</p>
<p>However if there are other good reasons, look at those.</p>
<p>In fact, “My friends will be there,” is almost to be put in the “cons” side of the pros and cons list.</p>
<p>Still, good luck to you.</p>
<p>This is difficult, as difficult it was for me NOT to recommend my alma mater to my son. In the end emotions and ego need to be cast aside, as your decision needs to be based on fit for you and not to fulfill a parent’s desire to live their college lives through their children .</p>
<p>My older sister went to college 1200 miles away and he never gave her hard time of where she went</p>
<p>You say that your dad can be a bully, but he left your sister alone. I suspect that your sister has a demeanor that “stands up” to your dad and therefore he doesn’t even try to bully her. In your post it sounds like you’re more of a “go along” person to avoid confrontation. That’s exactly the type of person who bullies prey on. </p>
<p>just be civil and firm that you know that you’ll be happier at School X. Your dad’s school may be a fine school, but you don’t feel that it’s right for you.</p>
<p>Del, you mention that the school you prefer has an awesome OT program. Do they have direct admit for freshman? Are you sure about OT? Admission to OT schools is very competitive. If attending that school gives you an advantage in gaining admission to the graduate OT program, that could be a valid reason to present to your father.</p>
<p>Hunt~the friends I have now we don’t party at all nor do we plan on it in college we are more the coffe shop, movie night, stay up late with a few friends in goofy deep discussions. And the friends I do have going there we are not going to be room mates but I am glad they are going to be there if I need them. I have dated two guys in high school and I don’t know any guy going there. And actually my dad is worried I won’t get into master program cuz it is very selective but I am willing to work my but off. My dad has great memories of his college days a lot around drinking and his house was on blackball list when he was there and has been shut down since he went there and I know things have gotten even worse but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. My choice is a private college ten miles outside city limits and they own the ten miles and like the private area for the college, there is parties in town cuz other schools are in area. This is getting long sorry but I am not going to party with friends I haven’t for two years and don’t want to, but I know I am going to get home sick and will be nice if I can get home in little over an hour. </p>
<p>Everyone else ~ my dad did tell my mom last night that my school does have the better program so I will go one more time to his school and then give him my list and explain how I like my smaller choice and see what happens. I know my parents have worked hard for me and my sister, and yes I would like for us to get along and willing to take one for team for that to happen just hoping things work out for best. Thanks everyone</p>
<p>Hoosier yes they dangle a huge carrot if I get my act score up by 1 pt and keep gpa at 3.5 I would get early admission into program and that is huge carrot but if I don’t they say the students that go there for under graduate they take their students with anything 3.0 and over which gives me a little more breathing room on some of the tougher classes. I am going to try to up grade my act score but if it doesn’t go up I hope the relationships I gain in the smaller university will help me also. I have met with several of OT professors already at my school and I enjoy them and they seemed to like me and the work and shadowing I have done. </p>
<p>Thanks everyone for all the time you have given me. And I don’t mind getting called on my stuff I am truly trying to do my best and that comes with being called out.</p>
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<p>Really impressive and mature attitude. I also hope that things work out for you!</p>
<p>In this case, your dad is out of line. I wish I could help you more. I am seeing so many unreasonable parents. Maybe your mom can help with this. It is just so frustrating!!!</p>