My son is a HS senior (class of 2018) and his only real passion is in music as in composing and analyzing (music theory) music. His spare time is spent making music on the computer or piano, talking about music, and listening to all kinds. He plays clarinet (guitar & piano, a bit) and is in marching band. But, he does not aspire to perform in music and he does not want to teach. He realizes that music is probably not a feasible major for him as he has nothing with which to audition and that careers are very limited and low in salary. He is not thinking of music as a major and he really has no other interests. He’s highly intelligent but has no idea what he wants to do. So, he is apathetic about starting college. It’s hard to choose a college with no major choice in sight and he is afraid of wasting money and time taking the wrong classes. So, it’s October and only two colleges are on the list. We are in Colorado. CSU and CU Boulder are it. He’s not motivated to look at other schools. He’s got a 3.97 weighted GPA and 1500 SAT (770math,730Writing). Very bright in math, science and pretty good with writing. Any suggestions for how to go forward with this college thing and advice for my son finding a career choice? A gap year? Some similar posts suggest a LAC but I want engineering to be an option at the college he might choose. He was not super excited when we visited CU and CSU. He wishes that he would visit a college and just love it and be inspired to study there!
Besides CU and CSU where have you visited?
Are you sure that “wasting time and money” and “I need to know my career before I start college” are his concerns? Those could be parent concerns or something reasonable to say for a kid who doesn’t want to open up about his real fears.
Here’s what I would tell him, “kid, the first year really makes no difference.” He’s pretty much got to take the basics no matter what…and tons of kids change their majors after the first year anyway…tell him that you guys can talk about it in the summer of 2019. For now, apply to a decent college with a wide array of majors (try to get in the Honors College) and then see what happens. He’s bright…it’s all going to work out.
If he isn’t interested in engineering, which usually requires a student to start in it from the get go, why limit it to schools that have engineering?
I think it is normal for 17/18 year olds to not know what they want to do. My kids knew more what they didn’t want then what they wanted. Most 17/18 year olds don’t even know the range of job opportunities out there. Majors don’t have to align exactly with a career to be employable. Part of college is taking classes in a variety of subjects and see what sparks one’s interest. I do think it would be worthwhile looking at LACs. Since you’re in Colorado, has your son visited Colorado College? It is a different type of school given the block plan. Might not be right for him but worth a look, both for its own sake and to see if a small LAC with flexibility to explore would be appealing.
Your son’s stats are great. If he wants to take a gap year for a specific purpose or interest, that’s fine. I’m a big proponent of gap years but I think one needs a plan. Both my kids took one. Just taking a gap year because you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up wouldn’t be a solid enough reason for me.
If you are adamant about engineering, there are LACs that have engineering programs.
You know him better than we do: does he like school in general? If so, I would visit more colleges in hopes of him finding one that excites him despite his uncertainty about a major. (Many if most kids are undecided, and they don’t have your son’s passion and math talent, so it could be worse!)
But if you think that his lack of enthusiasm is linked more to being burned out, or genuinely uninterested in any further schooling, then I would recommend a gap year. If that’s the scenario, he may need time to figure out what and how he wants to do.
BTW, have him check out Metro State, just for the heck of it. It has a very good music program and a jazz center headed by the renowned Ron Miles, a jazz legend who is also a superb teacher. My son (not a music major) took a class with him and it rocked his world.
However, if some of his favorite or best subjects are math, science, and music, the first year does make a difference in terms of getting started on prerequisite sequences for possible majors in those areas (or related ones like engineering).
But you can take a few prerequisites as a first year while exploring to keep options in play. I think that is fairly common as they also fulfill breadth/distribution requirements.
69k dollars is a lot of money to spend at Colorado College for babysitting your son; even the public schools on your list are going to be expensive if he doesn’t really want to be there. Higher education is wonderful for those motivated to benefit from it but can be a waste of both time and money if used as a default option. A gap year sounds like a good idea.
All degrees require certain coursework to be done, unless it is totally an open curriculum which is just a handful or two of selective colleges, to achieve a degree. This is coursework outside the major which that is engaging and educational on it’s own. So, how is that a waste of time?
Also, I don’t think any decent college can be viewed as “babysitting”. Not their job.
As far as cost, that is a completely different discussion from the one advanced here based on affordability for each family and one’s need for and qualifications for aid.
I think there is a difference between “I don’t want to go to college” and “I don’t know what interests me and what I want to major in”. I encourage the OP to help her son discover which camp he falls into. Visiting more colleges and different types of colleges might be helpful in figuring that out.
Also, make sure that there isn’t other reasons for his reticence - fear of leaving home or something along those lines.
That’s a lot. How many real passions is a guy supposed to have?
Why can’t he? His grades, scores, and musical talent could get him into many colleges. I agree that Colorado College might be worth a visit. Or venture a little farther, maybe to Washington U. St. Louis, Northwestern, Rice, or Vanderbilt (which all offer strong engineering programs). Time is of the essence, so pick an interesting college and book a trip soon. Then if he discovers that nowhere excites him more than the 2 already on his list, that is worth something too.
If even those two don’t click, then yes, a gap year is an option. But first he needs to give it a chance and explore a bit.
“Higher education is wonderful for those motivated to benefit from it but can be a waste of both time and money if used as a default option. A gap year sounds like a good idea.”
@dogladyJ you know your son better than I do. However, reading your post I was thinking exactly the same thing that @roycroftmom said in this quote.
It sounds to me that if your son goes to university he might do well or might just sort of flounder, avoid homework, and do badly. However, it he takes a gap year then he is likely within a moderate amount of time to figure out that he wants to do something, and spend some time thinking hard about what that something might be. I think that if he does take a gap year then he should either get a job or participate in some sort of volunteer activity. One advantage of very smart kids getting menial jobs is that they often quickly decide “no, this isn’t what I want to do for the next 40 years”.
Gap year came to mind reading the original post. As @DadTwoGirls states, nothing makes a kid realize what they don’t want to do more than doing it for a little while.
There is a student at our school who just started a gap year volunteering overseas. As August / September rolled around, he started wishing he’d be going off to college like everyone else.
If he doesn’t want to explore other options, that is fine too. He could spend some time taking basic courses at a local community college for little cost during a gap year while he decides what, if anything, he would like to get out of any further education. If he is truly resisting this late, then I think that is telling you a lot. His fears of wasting time and money may be self-fulfilling. Every year, thousands of students drop out of colleges they probably shouldn’t have been in to begin with, usually in debt and with no degree/marketable skills. He doesn’t want to be one of them.
Ga Tech has a Music Technology major. And for a non traditional school, places like Full Sail work with the music and TV industry.
Life isn’t always a linear path where you pick the end goal ahead of time. Most people end up working in careers and fields they never envisioned when entering college.
College is a path with numerous forks in the road that can ultimately take your son to a place that is right for him. The only choice he needs to make today is to start walking down a path to find those opportunities. Pick a college and major that appear to provide the most options and the rest will come in time.
This is so similar to your August thread. What’s changed?
Thanks for pointing out the previous thread. I’m reposting it hear for everyone’s ease:
“My son has high GPA 3.97 & SAT scores 1500 (Math770 Writing730). He has great aptitude for math & science, but if asked what interests him, it’s music. His spare time is spent analyzing music, composing music, and marching band. He has no idea what he wants to major in. His scores in math and science (got 5 on AP Calc AB & a 4 on AP Chem test) point him towards engineering, but he has no idea if engineering would be something he would like to do. He is very cognizant of the cost of college and does not want to waste money while he figures out what he wants to do. He wanted to skip a year after graduating, but we parents think that is a bad idea. Since engineering usually means applying to the Engineering school/area within a college, it’s hard to start undecided and be assured of transferring into Engineering later. We are in Colorado. Does it make sense for him to start at community college while he figures things out? Or do you have career suggestions for a passionate musician who sadly realizes that music is not a feasible career (doesn’t want to teach)?”
I get the sense from these posts that the parents are more gung ho about engineering than the son is. Perhaps the parents think because of the son’s aptitude for math/science and the good pay, that engineering is the way to go. Perhaps I’m wrong. Regardless, there are plenty of career option for a bright young man, including in the music industry. Why is it assumed that music can’t be a feasible career? Sure, not everyone is going to be successful at it but combined with passion and intelligence, it is doable. There are plenty of folks make a career in music that doesn’t include teaching. Why not let him pursue music and if it makes you all more comfortable he can always double major. Econ is always a marketable major and good for someone with math talent. Might make a good double major. With all careers, summer jobs and internships help regardless of major.
A gap year working paid jobs may be a good thing. It may give him more motivation to think about career directions, whether such career directions involve going to college for a bachelor’s degree or something else.
lookingforward- You are right. This is similar, but previously I was asking whether community college for a year was a good idea or not. I learned, from helpful folks here, that going to community college for a year or two is probably not the right answer. Also, time has passed and I am hoping for more suggestions! Also, I’m realizing that pushing him toward engineering is not a good thing.
To answer others questions. My son is motivated at school. He prefers to be in AP classes because he likes the challenge and to be surrounded by other kids who are enthuastic about learning. I don’t think he’s burned out and I don’t think he’s scared to go away from home either. I think he’s just scared he won’t figure out what he wants to do.
Colorado College is a bit too pricey for us. When folks mention colleges that are so far away, I just wonder what percentage of kids travel that far for college. I guess I am sheltered. I went to a college in my state. I can’t imagine flying him back and forth every time he goes to and from school. I’m not saying we wouldn’t do it. It’s just not something I’m familiar with. I grew up on the east coast. So, so many more colleges were in driving distance for me!
Yeah, the east coast has a greater density with in driving distance, and more variety I think as well, than where you live now.
Visiting Colorado College and perhaps University of Denver would just give him a few other kinds of school to look at if the bigger state schools aren’t appealing. If he decides he likes the environment of one of those two, you could then look for colleges that offer merit aid if you don’t qualify for need based aid. With his stats, there will be colleges willing to offer him merit. CC offers some but pretty competitive, DU offers more. But again, I suggest it more just as a way to look at different types of schools in relatively close proximity that might spark more interest in him.