<p>Website logged me out as I tried to submit, so this is the second time typing out, ugh. This thread is a little out of place, but I'm beside myself with lonliness and hopelessness. I'll try to keep it somewhat short and sweet.</p>
<p>I've pretty much screwed myself outta every life situation I want to be in now. I moved out on my own with some friends right after I graduated high school, we had some decent times. Lost my job, had to move back in with the 'rents after the lease rolled around. During this time, 18-20 years old, I've been going to a community college which actually has, despite the name, no community whatsoever. No making friends, no meeting people, no parties, no campus life/clubs, nothing. I ended up screwing around too much, which I obviously regret now, and have a lot of dropped classes and low overall GPA. I ended up getting VERY serious with a girl during this time, too, and started looking at career options for settling down reasons.</p>
<p>Girl, who had lived very sheltered life to this point, in a complicated turn of events, ends up leaving me and lost her ***** up at the university she goes to. Parties EVERY night, sleeps with whoever she wants, the works. Now, I know THAT in particular is nothing to be jealous about. She's already put herself into some EXTREMELY terrible and dangerous situations I've heard about since. I lost all my friends while I was with her...now I have nothing, and no one. I'm all alone, every day, I don't see or talk to ANYONE, not even my parents.</p>
<p>Now, in this career search, I did end up landing a VERY good job, I'll end up making more than anything I would have graduated with a bachelor's for. And I love the job. I'm off right now for a month and a half because I broke my hand punching a wall. It's a very secure job, for all practical purposes I can't lose it by contract. The ONLY reason I'd want to go to uni or something is to have the college life now. Something that is TEARING ME APART. EVERYONE I know is off having the time of their lives, meeting new people, getting involved in clubs and groups, partying at nights, living with their best friends, the works. And I'm just sitting at *****ing home with NOTHING. I can't go to a uni now because of my grades at the community college, i'm on probation. So I have to get that together first anyways. And going to Uni in my city would be useless, it's a business city, not a college city, there isn't social night life and partying and friends and stuff. No dorms or anything. I need to move off to a city like College Station for Texas A & M. But I can't move now because of my job, for minimum 2-3 years until I could possibly get transferred. I don't think I could bear to live like this that much longer. And should I really put in all that effort and possible 50-100 grand in tuition just to have a college social life? But I don't know what else to do, it's the only life that seems satisfying to me now. I feel like I need to experience it. I feel...horrible right now. Especially with the loss of the girl I was fixing to marry. I know I could use some help for this specifically, but I'm borderline suicidal right now, and I need advice. Any advice from people who have experienced more than me...any suggestions or comments would be appreciated, thanks.</p>
<p>Edit: I know I'm young, at 20. Got my whole life ahead etc. etc. I'm looking for comments/advice a little more substatial, thanks :)</p>