Hi all, I was wanting some advice and hoping maybe someone has been in my situation before. I’m a non-traditional student who recently decided to pursue medicine. I start at UT this fall and will have 3 years left of my undergrad and most of my medical pre reqs to complete. I have a daughter who will be two next month and am seriously considering having another child at the beginning of next summer. I am worried that my school+ extracurriculars will be difficult while doing the newborn phase again, but at the same time I think it will only get harder and I don’t want my kids to be 10 years apart.
Sorry for such a long post, but if anyone has been through this I would love to hear your experience/advice!
No one can stop you have a baby and I think it is a good thing to get that out of the way when you are young. You will be VERY busy as a premed and two babies. The only relief you might get is that if your H or family can pitch in the work without major spendings.
Good luck.
What exactly are you asking?
Will adcomms cut you any slack on your grades and ECs because you’re a parent?
No.
There is no ideal time to start or add to your family if you’re pursuing medicine as a career–though there are some time periods that are better than others.
Pre-med is better than during med school. MS 1-2 are better than MS 3-4. Med school is better than during residency when you’ll be working an insane number of hours during the day and night at least 6 days/week.
So the IMPORTANT questions–
- do you have reliable 24/7 child care available?
- do you have a partner or other family member who will step up and shoulder the bulk of childcare responsibilities?
If you want to be a successful pre-med, med student, resident, physician you’ll need one or the other.
There’s no good time and waiting only means becoming more busy, not less. In undergrad and the first 2 years of medical school you have a fair amount of control over your schedule. MS4 is really your only other “good window” but depending on how old you are now, 7 years from now your fertility might have taken a serious hit and it will be harder to ensure you have the kid in that golden period of not being too pregnant looking during interviews (even though it’s illegal, you will be discriminated against - although you don’t mention concern over being pregnant so I’m realizing you are probably a man) but having the kid as close to the end of interviews as possible when you’re the freest you will ever be. What does your partner’s life look like in the next few years? That’s probably going to be the biggest factor.
Do you have access to 24/7 child care?
Thanks everyone for the input!
I realize it will be difficult, but I also know that now would be the easiest time for the next 10+ years.
I am fortunate to have a mother who lives 10 minutes away and does not work. She is prepared to be full time nanny. My husband is also a super strong support and has a very flexible job, and the rest of my family all live within a few miles of us. I definitely think I have the support I need, I guess I just wanted to make sure I’m not crazy ?
No, I am a woman. Sorry, should have mentioned that. Not excited to be in school while pregnant, but I know from experience that at least pregnancy is easier than after they’re born.
If you have a support system and people who can watch them while they’re babies/toddlers, then being pregnant and having a nursing infant should be ideally timed to be before or after orgo. Make sure you set up all your shadowing and volunteering close to home and start on it ASAP.
That’s super helpful, thank you! I will be doing organic chem 1 next fall, so new baby would only be about 3 months. However, I don’t plan on breastfeeding after I go back to school. I’m planning to also start studying for the MCAT at that time so I can take it in the spring, but I’m also okay with taking a gap year if it ends up being too much at once.
Have you just been part time at CC so far though? UT is going to be tough. Don’t underestimate your peers. How old are you?
Does your mum have any other grandchildren? She will be the full time carer and raise your 2 children, is she up for that? You are financially set? You need a wife, realistically, be that your husband or your mother. If your pre med goes off the rails because you took this chance, that will be blamed, when realistically. most undergrads that talk of med school never get there.
I have been part time at a cc while working 30ish hours/wk. I won’t be working anymore. I’ve realized that.
A 4.0 at my cc was amazing, transferring to UT it seems that at least half the people have a 4.0 and it’s nothing special. I’m prepared for the classes to be much harder. My mom has other grandchildren from my sister, who is a stay at home mom and doesn’t really need help with her kids.
To be honest, I would need a “wife” for my 2-year-old daughter anyway. I feel like deciding to have my first right now would be a lot riskier than coming into the situation already knowing what having a child entails and already needing that extra help for her.
I appreciate you keeping it real.
Most students take a gap year though - don’t plan on taking the MCAT till senior year.
Just a bit of comfort, it’s not Med school, but I started OT school (after having finished my undergrad 6 years earlier) and our first class was with a medical school (OT, PT and Med students at the time all took gross anatomy together as the first class in our programs). Then I had 2 more years of classes and then two internships, 1 was over an hour away from my house, and I had to drive there every day. I had a 2 and 3 year old. I survived and so did they. It was SUPER hard, but you know what ? They don’t remember it. They don’t remember us being dirt poor because I had to quit my job, and pay tuition. They remember spending lots of time with their dad, great grandparents, grandparents, and friends who traded off babysitting. It made me a stronger person, and I had to be really organized, but I graduated as one of the top students in my program and was a class-elected speaker at our graduation. You can do it, little mama! Being able to enjoy my kids when they were able to remember it worked out great. And then I had another surprise kid after I got out and was working… found out I was pregnant after only being out of school for 4 months. My daughter is an M4 at UT right now. Several of her friends have had babies while in med school, or are pregnant right now. You can make it work!
Thank you so much for that, @moonpie! I feel so guilty sometimes that I am spending time away from my daughter to go to school, so this was very encouraging to read!