Hello all,
I’m looking for some advice on whether to begin applying to colleges as a transfer student. Ideally, I would be asking for this from friends and family, not seeking answers from strangers, but I don’t quite feel comfortable doing that quite yet. I have always equated being unhappy with one’s college with a “failure” of sorts, in that I failed at my first opportunity to select the right college for me. I don’t want my family and friends to think I have “failed” unless I can propose a definitive remedy, i.e. transferring schools. Maybe my unhappiness could be solved by transferring schools; maybe it is a more general feeling of malaise with the educational establishment.
I just finished my freshman year at Kenyon College. Of the colleges that accepted me, Kenyon was neither most highly ranked nor was it a personal favorite. Both those honors go to the University of Chicago. But Kenyon gave me a very generous financial aid package (merit- and need-based), so I decided that, in the words of Kenyon founder Philander Chase, “This will do.” I did not love my two semesters here, but I did not hate them either. Here are my good and bad experiences sorted into a list.
THE GOOD:
*The professors: All my professors were not only brilliant but also interested in my well-being. Very accessible and friendly.
*The political environment: Kenyon has not seemingly bought into the message of “political correctness” as some other schools have (at least based on newspaper headlines). Students and faculty here are quite open to free expression, and I find this very important.
*Student activities: I have grown to love the activities I do on campus, especially student newspaper and community service. (But these activities are by no means unique to Kenyon.)
THE BAD:
*Making friends: Throughout high school, I had thought I would finally outgrow my social awkwardness once in college. I blamed my relative lack of high school friends on being one of the few gay students at a very conservative high school. I thought this would all change in college. But it didn’t. I ended my freshman year with only three or so close friends. There are certainly many people I greet when passing on campus, but very few with whom I feel comfortable engaging in extended conversation.
*Student culture: Possibly a good portion of my social isolation stems from the student culture at Kenyon. There is definitely a “work hard, play hard” mentality here. Thought students do work very hard in the classroom, it seems that all that academic interest flies out the window on weekends. The weekends are filled with parties which make me feel uncomfortable attending (crowded spaces, too many people I don’t know, etc.). I have yet to find a group of people who would actually want to talk about “important things” outside the classroom. Perhaps it is my fault for not having found a group of similarly minded students, but I didn’t think it would be this hard.
*The location: I thought I would enjoy rural Ohio, but I have found Kenyon’s location to be incredibly isolating. Since I don’t like parties nor have a car, I have spent many a weekend wandering the town of Gambier (which honestly consists of the College and little else) alone, feeling depressed and lonely. I have accomplished a lot of thinking in these moments, but I wish I had something else to do.
Would college life be any easier at other schools? Any schools which someone may suggest for my predicament?
(Side note: I think I would have at least have a shot at getting into almost any school to which I would apply. I ended my freshman year with a 4.00 GPA, and I can think of several professors who would write me good recommendation letters. Ideally, I would want to find a school with either very generous need-based financial aid or at least merit aid open to transfer students.)
Thank you!