Hi guys!
So I am (still) in the stage of editing my first draft, and I was thinking about how I have my essay structured.
I started off with sort of an anecdote from high school about my interests, and finished that paragraph with an experience I had in my first semester at the current school I am attending.
Then in the second paragraph, I talk about the major I am in right now, and my reasonings for wanted to switch and therefore wanting to transfer to a different school. (I also used a quote in the middle of this paragraph because I thought maybe it would help make my point a little clearer??)
And then in my final paragraph I talk about how I am grateful for the experiences I had at my current school, and that this experience made me realize I need to go out and follow my true passions. And then I finish out by talking about my goals and aspirations for my new school.
Although I feel like the anecdote at the beginning is helpful to understanding the decision I have made, do you think I should just skip story-time and just explicitly tell them why I want to transfer and what I hope to achieve? ALSO, what do you guys think about putting a quote in there? (I know a lot of people think it’s cliche). Would anyone be willing to read it once I’ve cleaned it up a little bit??
Thanks!!!
That’s very cliche and I’ll bet you many, if not most, students write something like that.
Study the university’s history and tie it into what you may be doing currently or hope to. Let’s say you love research. Study up on the institution’s current research and their programs, then say it is only there you will be able to engage in that specific type of research. I’ve looked through a ton of transfer threads and those are the essays that usually get applicants admitted. or the essays that admitted students wrote. the other parts of the application are as important too.
Specifically for your case, research the institution’s activity within that major, research the specific curriculum, look up professors and what they’re doing, and explain how all of these school-specific resources within your desired transfer major will help you best in a larger goal in your life and will best engage you in serving your university, rather than ‘following your passions.’ that is a huge no-no to directly say in any essay.
Quotes people usually don’t use and quotes that tie in unconventionally to the body of the text should be fine.
ahh okay thank you!
but i am applying to 5 schools ( because i really need to leave my current school and I’m afraid if I only apply to my top choice and I end up not get in then I will be forced to stay at my current school), and this is the general essay on the common app that I have to send to all of the schools. Is there a way I can make it specific to each school’s program? I’m looking to switch from a film major to an english literature major.
By researching all of the schools and the things they’re doing in their film department as well as explaining how their curriculum would be benefit you in serving your intellectual life and the life of the campus. There’s no general answer applicable to each and every transfer essay, you will have to research each school in depth if you hope to be admitted to any that are even relatively selective.
You kind of have to make it to where the school will miss out on something if they deny you. They care about how you’ll affect yourself in the program insofar as it will allow you to contribute quality EC work to the campus. Explaining how you will learn best is not something they really care about. They only care about that because that means you’ll do well in your classes. But it isn’t enough to soak up the resources without putting further attention to how you’ll dedicate yourself in serving your college community.
Remember to take peoples’ advice with a grain of salt.
Your approach sounds fine. Straight forward and honest. yeah, I’d take out the anecdote probably.