<p>Hi y'all! I'm posting on the Parent's forum to get a more mature perspective on the situation. So I changed my mind about where I wanted to go before coming to college for freshman year. I wanted to be closer to home, rather than be at a school 1000 miles away. My parents agreed to let me go to the school closer to home and have the ability to transfer after freshman year. I came into freshman year with the idea that I was going to leave, and over winter break, I said I was pretty much set on leaving. Now, I am the complete opposite! I have spent the past part of the semester being sad about the thought of leaving my current school and I just can't imagine next semester somewhere else. I applied to multiple schools and was accepted to two other schools that my parents are dead set on me going. One is in NYC, and after visiting, I decided that the city life isn't for me. The other is essentially the same school, just closer to home. I have always had this feeling that if I left my current school that I would regret it because I have come to love it so much! So my problem is, my parents are forcing me to leave because they think the other schools will give me more opportunities because they are ranked higher. My current school is considered a "public ivy" so I don't know why they are so set on me going to a "better" school. They said that I have to transfer but it is the last thing I want to do. And I'm also afraid that I'll end up having to pay for my current school by myself, meaning a life of paying off endless loans. What should I do or how can I convince my parents to let me stay?</p>
<p>bump… </p>
<p>If you love your current school, and it’s a public ivy, you are extremely fortunate and I can certainly understand why you’d want to continue there. Many students come to love their school at some point during freshman year, and any plans to transfer then dissolve. CC is full of such stories! </p>
<p>How long do you have until you must make a decision? Probably not too long. Here’s what I’d advise, and pronto:</p>
<p>1) I’d suggest listening carefully to your parents’ concerns about what opportunities the other 2 schools might provide you that your current school does not. Such as: Do your future plans (med school, law school, etc) factor into your parents desire for you to go to a higher ranked school?</p>
<p>2) If you could make a list of your parents’ concerns, one by one, and then provide information to demonstrate that your current school measures up just fine, you may be able to convince them to let you stay. (For example, find information from your current school about the percentage of graduates who go on to good graduate and professional programs.) Seek information from wherever you need to at your current school (admissions office, your major department faculty and staff) There are folks there who would be happy to boast about all your current school has to offer a motivated and HAPPY student like you. Enlist the help of your current academic advisor or whoever else might be able to help you make a case for staying. </p>
<p>3) Approach this conversation maturely, and with respect for your parents’ concerns and the fact that they are helping you pay for college. No tantrums, no accusations, no hysterics. Be cool and rational, informed. </p>
<p>Rankings don’t matter so much, and if you’re at a public ivy, your school is way up there anyway. College is what YOU make of it, and you will likely do best at a college where you are happy.</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>Please come back and tell us how this worked out for you.</p>
<p>Are the other two schools less expensive than the current one?</p>
<p>Since you did not give specifics, how do the current school and other two schools compare for your possible majors and professional goals?</p>
<p>You also could suggest to them that waiting another year while you complete your general ed requirements will give you more options for transfer.</p>
<p>@ucbalumnus The one in NYC is far more expensive and provided no financial aid/guaranteed housing (imagine starting at a new school and being forced to live/pay for off campus housing in the city). The other school is about $10,000 more expensive and provided very little aid, not to mention I am not guaranteed housing. I am studying computer science so at most, I want to go to graduate school but my school has been known to have students continue on to other great schools, including Ivy Leagues. My school is middle top 100 for computer science (my major), but since it is smaller, it has more opportunities for me to gain a spot for research and internships. The other schools have larger computer science programs, making it that much harder to get a spot. Yes the other schools may have a higher ranking and maybe different opportunities than the ones my current school can offer, but I really do think I can do well and stand out where I am now. I am in the honors program so most of my comp sci classes have only 15 people and I have already become close to one of my comp sci professors (he wrote my letter of recommendation) from first semester. </p>
<p>@Jane345 Thank you so much for all the advice! Unfortunately, my parents still haven’t budged. I spent hours researching the school and providing information and stats, and while they did listen, they refused to believe that I am capable of making my own decisions. It is currently looking like I am going to have to finance college on my own, but my school just assigned me a financial aid officer and I’m going to speak with someone to talk about increasing my scholarship based on what is happening. I honestly don’t think there is any convincing them at this point, so I guess I am on my own for this one! I really do believe that college is what you make of it so I’m going to make it all that I can!</p>
<p>If your current school is a good school for CS, it may not make too much sense to go to a much more expensive school for CS. Since you did not name any of the schools, it is hard for others to give any kind of assessment on the strength of the CS departments at any of them.</p>
<p>For the extra costs, are your parents covering the entire difference in costs?</p>
<p>^^^^ Yes! Who will pay for your education at any of these places? If you decide to stay where you are, can you count on your parents to file any financial aid paperwork that is needed each year?</p>
<p>And forgive me, but I gotta ask this: immigrant parents? If so, you may be up against more than average pressure from them because of confused notions of what constitutes a “good education” in this country, and you might want to look around among the adults whose judgments they respect to get help arguing your case.</p>
<p>It looks like from the OP’s other posts that she is from northern Virginia (so is probably at the University of Virginia) and applied to transfer to Barnard and Boston University.</p>
<p>All three are perfectly fine schools for CS. Barnard does give you a LAC with convenient access to a research university, if you find that valuable, but there is no other academic reason to pay a lot more for one over the other. Indeed, if the OP’s parents are ranking-obsessed, Virginia is higher ranked for CS than Boston University.</p>
<p>I don’t think Barnard would be all that great for a transfer student, computer science major. She would basically be taking all of her major courses at Columbia, playing catch-up in an incredibly competitive environment. As a transfer student she’d be at a disadvantage compared to the Columbia and SEAS students who already have familiarity with the department - and because of her choice of major, she might have a hard time integrating herself into the Barnard community, given that the majority of her classmates would tend to be liberal arts majors - so she couldn’t really rely on her Barnard friends to provide emotional or practical support for her major-- such as helping her with course choice or forming a study group. She definitely would lose whatever advantage she now has from being in a honors program.</p>
<p>If her heart was set on Barnard–then she could make the major work – but I think she is right: her best opportunities will come if she stays right where she is. </p>
<p>I’m hoping there is a way to make her parents come their senses. It sounds like she has already decided to stay where she is – it would be a shame if the parents carried through on any threat of pulling the plug on finances. </p>
<p>Also, the lack of the housing guarantee as a transfer to Barnard would likely be a significant social disadvantage at a school where 98% of frosh and 91% of all students live on campus.</p>
<p>As far as I know, the transfer students to Barnard always seem to get housing in the end – Barnard will give them priority over students who live in NYC and surrounding areas. So andys15 would probably get housing - but she probably wouldn’t have her housing assignment until late August and it could be very stressful for her waiting for that information. </p>
<p>But bottom line, I’m a big Barnard booster - I just had an “aren’t you glad you went to Barnard over NYU” conversation with my d. this evening (very hearty agreement from her) – but I wouldn’t particularly recommend Barnard for CS. It’s just the wrong choice in many ways.</p>
<p>I don’t think Barnard is the school that the OP is talking about based on this sentence from her post:</p>
<p>“I applied to multiple schools and was accepted to two other schools that my parents are dead set on me going. One is in NYC, and after visiting, I decided that the city life isn’t for me. The other is essentially the same school, just closer to home”</p>
<p>The OP said she was accepted to two schools and has posted in other threads that she was admitted to Barnard and BU. She has not posted in threads for any other schools. I don’t know what she means by “essentially the same” --but I do know how to count to two. ;)</p>