I am a freshman in college at a school that provides housing to students of all ages. Recently my 24 year old roommate came home at 3am with a guy. She had been out at a bar since 10pm. She assumed that I was asleep. And I almost was, until she came home and I heard the door open and shut. She and the guy came into my room and I hid my face under my blankets. The guy used the bathroom and then my roommate turned the lights off in the room. Not long after, I heard them kissing and then I heard them start having sex. While I was in the room. I didn’t say anything because I was freaking out. I didn’t know what I would say. I still haven’t told her that I heard them. I know she doesn’t like me. I told a friend and she said that I should report it to the housing that she broke the rules by bringing a visitor into the apartment past the time that visitors were allowed. I don’t know what I should do about it. Should I report it? Should I let it go and hope that it won’t happen again? How would even approach talking to her about it? I don’t know what to do. Please give me some advice.
It seems somewhat inappropriate that they have you rooming with a much older person. Have you been roommates since fall?
This is rude, but not uncommon, among college roommates of all ages. At the very least she should have asked permission to bring her date back and allowed you to clear out for a couple hours.
However, if your school has a rule against bringing guests back to the room at late hours, I would report it. I would not allow a roommate to be having sex while I am in the room - that sounds horrible.
Do you have an RA you can talk to?
I’d honestly just get over it… It happened. It’s over. The school year is almost done. What point is there to making her mad if she already doesn’t like you?
It was rude, but apparently there’s a lot of that when being forced to live with someone else.
The year is almost over but there is plenty of time to have a repeat performance. At the least, Id tell her that her nighttime antics kept you awake and you’d appreciate it if she refrained from having guests at night. You could tell her directly and politely or leave her a note. You could tell her that you fear that the next time she brings someone in you’ll feel the urge to get up and sing “Oh Happy Day” to the rocking of their bed.
That was very rude and inconsiderate of your roommate to engage in those activities with you present. You are an adult now so I would suggest having a conversation with her and come to a mutual agreement for the rest of the semester. Stand your ground and don’t let her push you around. It’s your room too. Involve your RA only after you tried (and failed) to resolve it yourself.
That’s horrible of your roommate. Going to your RA before chatting with her about it would be childish though. I’d talk with her about it. If she doesn’t listen, next time just get up, turn on the lights, and ask them to stop. 100% guarantee it will destroy the “sexy-times” vibe. She’ll be embarrassed and so will her partner. THEN if it doesn’t stop, get the RA involved.