<p>Hey guys, I was just looking for some help with a situation i'm dealing with. </p>
<p>So, recently I started attending a new college. I completed two years at a community college, and now I am dorming at a four year school. I have never dormed before, because when I attended the community college I commuted. My roommate is a pretty chill guy, very nice. The first three nights were fine, but last night something happened that made me a little annoyed. He came into our dorm room with three other guys, and they all started taking shots. I don't have a problem with people who drink, but I am 20, and they are all 21. He also blasted the music. I was doing homework before they all came in too. I was wondering what I should do to prevent this from happening again? I mean I know I cant prevent him from having friends over, but im not much of a partier. I also dont want to get caught by RA, even though I am not drinking, they might penalize me regardless. I am also very shy and quiet, which I hate about myself. Tonight is a Friday night, so I am expecting it might happen again, so im pretty nervous.</p>
<p>Your school didn’t give you a roommate agreement to fill out?</p>
<p>Sit down with him (when he doesn’t have friends over) and work out some ground rules for the room… things that you both can live with. Maybe even write it down, so it’s semi-official? But you should discuss things like having friends over (and maybe giving notice before bringing people over or having overnight guests), what activities are acceptable while a roommate is studying/sleeping, whether or not you’re okay with sharing your stuff (can his friends sit in your chair, can you borrow is printer?), etc. You might want to ask him if he could not drink in the room, explain the situation and that it makes you uncomfortable, he might not have even considered that it might bother you. Really you just need to try talking these things through.</p>
<p>If you can’t come to some sort of an agreement, or if you agree on something initially but one of you breaks it, go to your RA and talk it out there (having a written agreement could help if it does get to a point where the RA is involved, since he’ll be able to see you both agreed to whatever rules).</p>
<p>I agree with the above poster about talking to him about it. That’s really the only way from preventing it again. Set up some rules about what both of you are okay with, and follow them. Be reasonable and willing to compromise, but also, keep in mind that it’s his room to. If you’re not comfortable talking to him about it or if he’s not receptive to setting up ground rules, perhaps you can ask your RA to mediate.</p>
<p>Also, look up the rules your college has about alcohol in the dorms. At my school, it was fine for someone over 21 to consume alcohol in their room, even if their under 21 roommate was there. Neither party would be in trouble for that, since both had the right to their room. Check out the rules at your school. If it’s against the rules and it’s something you could get in trouble for, ask him to keep alcohol out of the room and to consume it elsewhere. It’s not an unreasonable request if it’s something you could get in trouble for. I know many people who didn’t want to have parties in their rooms or apartments (either because they were studying, they didn’t want to get in trouble, or they didn’t want to have to clean up the mess), so their roommates just went elsewhere. Just talk to him about it.</p>
<p>I would suggest filling out a roommate agreement and making some rules you can both live by. </p>
<p>If this keeps being a problem maybe you can talk to your ra. You don’t need to mention he is taking shots you can just say that he is being disruptive to me who is trying to study. This is putting the situation nicely.</p>
<p>address the situation asap, there are certain steps to follow, if you have discussed the issues with the roommate and he shows no signs of a compromise and is selfish and disrespectful, get help from the ra, your time at school is short and is probably costing you a small fortune. there can also be unknown issues driving certain “bad” behaviors, so you might need more help to resolve the situation than you realize. been there done that, not easy.</p>