<p>I’m sure. I’ve tried to impress upon her that it is quite an honor to have been awarded merit scholarships from well known and respected schools, but they are all so taken with those ratings.</p>
<p>“I also want to add that megan12 completely undermines the value of her post when she discloses that her kid relies on the nonsense of homeopathic medicine, which has been proven over and over again to be worthless junk science.”</p>
<p>Wow, angry much? How do you know if it works? Have you ever tried it? May I suggest that wherever you are getting your information is quite biased. I’m well aware that much of society is against the belief that alternative medicine may be helpful (I used to be one of them), but only those who are afraid of it or have some deep seeded anger about it would show such hostility. </p>
<p>As many research papers as you may find to discount homeopathy along with other forms of alternative medicine, I’m sure I can find countless more that prove that it does work. But who cares? If it helps someone, why make such a horrible statement about something that you really have no experience in? I’m not trying to sell anything. I was simply relaying a story that happened to us. And for the record, I never said that about homeopathy - I said it was one of the many things that we used, and for us, it was helpful. </p>
<p>It was not necessary nor respectful for you to make that comment.</p>
<p>My mom has had great success controlling her rheumatoid arthritis with allergy detection and avoidance of those things, and she described it as you did megan, a series of skin tests and then diet/environment change.</p>
<p>What megan12 describes was a very popular treatment for adhd kids as early as the mid-1980’s and I don’t know if it ever went out of vogue for adhd. I know of some times that it worked. Usually the kids took Ritalin.</p>
<p>Let’s not equate homeopathy with alternative medicine. The first is pure quakery while the second is a huge catagory that includes both quackery and things that are evidence-based.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That is only a problem if you let it be a problem. Your family cannot afford to go over 100K in debt. Period. End of discussion. On a private level, it is an unhealthy choice for your D to go away. Yes, she’ll have her feelings about it but letting it drag on is unkind. </p>
<p>High schoolers do not get to make adult decisions for a reason.</p>
<p>Just a story - doctors are used to diagnosing what they see, and they often see patients in “silos” of care. I have an uncle who has a panoply of symptoms - heart arrhythmia, low hemoglobin, low blood platelets, weakness in some of the extremities, tight skin, some shallowness in breathing, gets very cold, and perhaps some liver function problems. He sees five different docs for various of these symptoms. They don’t talk to each other. They see almost all elder Jewish men and women on Medicare.</p>
<p>But, working as I did in public health (and not a doc), I know what he has - “golf course disease”. He has low-grade organophosphate poisoning (of a particular variety - won’t go into details here), that he gets from living on the golf course (in Florida, where enforcement of environmental regulations is virtually nil) and the wind blows into his window at night, and playing golf twice a week. When he goes north for two months, half of his symptoms “magically” disappear. (Which he didn’t report to any of his docs, of course.)</p>
<p>Now, had he seen a doctor who diagnoses and treats 30-year-old Hispanic males, the doc would likely say, “well, of course!” But the docs he sees will simply say, at best, “hmm, that’s interesting”, and continue to treat all his symptoms separately. So now I have to find him a doc well-versed in environmental medicine. I really feel I know what this is - I’ve heard testimony from 100s of cases of this that occurred in Washington State in the 1980s and 1990s - virtually all Hispanic males.</p>
<p>It isn’t that allopathic medicine is often junk science (it often is, but that’s another story). It’s rather that the practice of allopathic medicine has often blinded physicians to what they are seeing right in front of them, and hence are less helpful than they could be. When folks go looking for other diagnoses and treatment, usually it is only physicians who have themselves to blame.</p>
<p>(The sad part of my uncle’s story is that, once he gets the right doc, if I’m correct, it will be easily diagnosed. And there is treatment. But it will also mean he has to move.)</p>
<p>“Let’s not equate homeopathy with alternative medicine. The first is pure quakery while the second is a huge catagory that includes both quackery and things that are evidence-based.”</p>
<p>Good Lord, another misinformed hater - why is everyone so angry? People, this thread is not really about homeopathy or other forms of alternative medicine. We’ve seen results with it as have millions of others - I’m not sure why that threatens you, but just drop it already.</p>
<p>Let’s just help mompom and put your petty judgements aside.</p>
<p>No one is a hater, no one is angry. You were the one who brought alternative medicine into this thread when OP was not looking for medical advice at all. Once you do that, you have to be prepared for a response. Knowing that homeopathy has never been proven to been effective in any scientific test and is nothing more than a scam by the purveyors of supposed homeopathic remedies, I felt it was important to point out to readers that your discussion of your medical experiences should be viewed in light of your reliance on a form of junk science. For me, that reliance makes all the advice in your post unreliable; for someone else it may have no impact. There’s nothing “petty” about not wanting people to be bamboozled in their search for medical answers.</p>
<p>Agreed that this thread should turn back to OP’s issue–which did not in any way involve alternative medicine.</p>
<p>megan12, I’ve had successes with homeopathic medicine also, with my kids, and don’t consider it quackery - yes, an alternative medicine would be accurate.</p>
<p>Non-believers are called Skeptics - I believe they have a formal group to let people know of their disapproval.</p>
<p>I never liked giving allopathic medicines to my kids and rarely did. They couldn’t be healthier.</p>
<p>“No one is a hater, no one is angry.”</p>
<p>If you say so. </p>
<p>Thanks for the support parent1986. </p>
<p>Anyway, getting back to the REAL issue…</p>
<p>If you can swing it, I think Barnard would be perfect. Is it possible? Maybe she should visit all 3 schools again and you could ask her to give reasons for preferring whatever school she prefers, such as academics, location, vibe.</p>
<p>I think it is important to leave the decision up to the daughter within the financial limits you are dealing with (but if Barnard and Vassar are too expensive, perhaps she should not have applied). Her diagnosis should not prevent her from having the same control any other student would (again, according to what is possible financially).</p>
<p>Again: get tuition refund insurance: if she does have to leave, due to a flare of bipolar disorder, you will get a full reimbursement. I think anyone should get this insurance, honestly. Work with the disabilities office on reduced courseload, single room if desired, extensions on work, excused for appointments. Then, let her fly.</p>
<p>If she is away from you, she will either take responsibility or not. Failure and suffering tend to be unavoidable with these types of problems, at some point along the way, and are the best way to break through denial and get to acceptance. Once a young adult accepts the problem, he or she takes meds regularly and makes some active efforts at maintaining health. Unfortunately, that tends not to happen in the abstract, or from parents and others telling them anything. Experience will bring her along over the long term.</p>
<p>I think that treating the daughter with respect, positivity, and not like a patient (not saying the original poster is doing that) and putting the daughter in the driver’s seat will have the best outcome.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Make sure to check this. My policy only covered mental health withdrawals if there was a hospitalization over X number of hours long, I think 24. I am sure there are many options available with different coverages.</p>
<p>I guess a lot of this depends on the child. In both my sister’s cases, allowing them to fly on their own is taking a risk of life and death, because they do not take their meds and their low cycles bring on suicidal ideation and self harm that has gotten worse in the late teens/early 20s-- I just don’t think that’s a risk you take. If you really think you’re JUST risking money, I agree-- these policies are helpful, I had one myself due to chronic illness. Just double check for mental health exclusions and be aware of what they’re covering, my policy only covered tuition and I’d have had to eat my room and board costs.</p>
<p>Thanks for the information on tuition refunds with mental illness. Some schools’ policies are really good about this: it is very helpful to know that others aren’t.</p>
<p>I don’t know how your sisters are kept safe, but once over 18, parents don’t have that much control, and suicidal ideation and actions can take place at home, college or anywhere else. A hospital is the only truly safe place. By “letting fly” I don’t mean no support or monitoring. “Letting fly” may result in flight, or in a fall, but it seems to be necessary at some point as a psychological moment for a parent. The kid has to come to a certain place of acceptance and compliance on her own to be truly safe, and keeping her at home under watch will not allow that to happen over the long term.</p>
<p>Every situation and person is different. If the daughter is truly not safe, then the question should be whether she should go, not where.</p>
<p>You sound like you have a pretty good handle on things. It seems to me like the most important thing that you can do is keep her safe. Right now and the immediate future that means keeping her safe from herself. I would definitely recommend that you stick with the same doctor that has been treating her, because he knows her and you. That is a very big deal when dealing with Bipolar disorder. Also i think you should keep her at home. </p>
<p>My experience with the symptoms of Bipolar disorder sounds similar to what you are going through. When the mood is up there is such an incredible amount of activity and very smart thinking. She is probably very smart and can do an amazing amount of work when she is feeling good. Then there are the down times. Getting out of bed and having breakfast is a major accomplishment.</p>
<p>She might want to skip the meds when she is feeling good, which is probably common, and was what i noticed in my experience. Because of that, and the very convincing lies, you need to keep her home. The symptoms might get a lot better when she gets a little older. You need to keep her close until then.</p>