<p>Jaylynn - those incidents are horrible but certainly not outcome in 99.9% of the cases.</p>
<p>Was just having a similar conversation, everyone here goes to Florida(why oh why !!!) my ds will not go and says she has no desire. Has asked instead to take a few friends to her aunt’s cabin.</p>
<p>Short answer: No. </p>
<p>Luckily I am saved from even having this discussion come up because the morning after prom D is obligated to help with a “Junior Lee-ettes Clinic” where all the cheerleaders and dance team members spend the day herding 75 to 100, 4-11 year olds through dance and cheeer routines.
I’m sure watching the seniors drag themselves in at 8 am every year keeps a smile on the faces of the Dance and Cheer Directors all day long.</p>
<p>I know, maidenmom. Believe me, I’m usually the person preaching calm re the wildly improbable tragedy (in my job, usually talking about letting kids run a little wild to play, and not be afraid of abductions, etc). But I just cannot for the life of me understand why parents send young people alone to places where they KNOW their underage kid is going to drink. At the least, they’ve got to know their child is going to drink, illegally and without supervision, and is going to meet other drunk young people while in an impaired state. Don’t get it.</p>
<p>I did it in high school, but DS has no desire to do the hotel rental after prom with drinking. They will go en masse to a theme park and party like crazy on the rides. DS has known his entire life that he is susceptible to becoming an alcoholic and has chosen to assume that if he drinks he will end up with problems. I understand entirely. </p>
<p>That said, when we had these big parties in hs, we had 3 deaths in 4 years, 4 arrests and one recission from a top football program. We weren’t even in a time when we sued each other as much, or more people would have gone to jail for contributin to the deliquency of a minor. I just couldn’t let a 17yo go, if only to cover my own liability.</p>
<p>I guess pre/post prom traditions are slightly different here, so I can’t help but to expect that opinions will also differ when I ask a site open for international contributors. But I asked because I do want to see the different opinions from parents’ points of view. The fact that for our own school prom is Memorial Day weekend and the rest of the week is a throwaway senior week (and openly acknowledged as such) encourages these after prom festivities.</p>
<p>S is 18, but any post-prom party he might go to (if he even goes to the prom) would have to be chaperoned by parents. That said, we are planning to let him and 6 friends go unchaperoned at our lake cottage after they graduate. We have chaperoned this group at the same place for the last two years and they are all top students, and if not literally boy scouts, they are boy scouts in every other sense. They have earned our trust. I may end up having to chaperone if that is the only way one particular boy will be allowed to go (even though he will be 1 month shy of 18, parents still treat him like he is 11, poor kid).</p>
<p>Short answer: No. I grew up 45 minutes away from a beach in Florida which attracts many, many spring break revelers and while I was never allowed to spend the night there, I learned a lot about what goes on when teenagers are allowed free rein in a co-ed, unchaperoned environment for days at a time. Even the most straight-laced kids get worn down by the peer pressure after about 24 hours and some of them screwed up on an epic scale, casting a pall over graduation.</p>
<p>OTOH, I did let my son go to a beach house (owned by a classmate) after graduation with some similarly nerdy boys to revel in all-night gaming. They did end up meeting up with some girls from their class but apparently the more “adventurous” of the girls got bored with laser tag and go-karting and took up with some more exciting company, LOL. Pretty much exactly what I expected.</p>
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<p>That’s pretty much what goes on here, though the after parties may not all be characterized as “winding down”.</p>
<p>But our prom is in April, graduation is in June. Different things.</p>
<p>I’ll take the kid’s point of view here. Where I’m from, after prom, we rent out houses in the Hamptons with our friends. It may seem excessive or indulgent, but we see it as something different. We are 17 and 18 years old, about to go off to college, so it’s a time to make those last memories with friends and experience the independence we are going to have in a few weeks anyway.</p>
<p>As a parent, I don’t love the idea, but I guess it would come down to specifics on who was going. Are they responsible? If the 10 kids were all long time friends and not five couples, that’s sort of a different story. And if the boys were in one cabin and girls in the other, again not so bad. So Yes to the first situation and No way, ever, to the second, since I have a daughter.<br>
I will also say that at least the kids were honest enough to tell you that they were planning a mixed overnight. Many kids wouldn’t share that little detail for fear it would shut it down.
But if all the kids and parents know/have known each other, it seems fairly harmless. I would make a suggestion that a parent or two parents also head up to Newport, staying nearby just in case, especially if the kids are not 18. I can’t imagine anyone renting a cottage to minors though, and in that respect it sounds like a kid fantasy.</p>
<p>PS I laughed at the “rich kids in Newport” comment. I’m sure the beach houses they are thinking about renting are not on the Cliff Walk.</p>
<p>Sorry-I didn’t expect posters to think that I was the concerned mother. I am actually the student in question, which is why I am asking for parents’ opinions. But maybe adding that in advance would have skewed answers. I’m also very glad that this has received many more responses than any chance thread I’ve ever posted 
@born2dance94 That is how we see it, and to be honest the whole point of the renting of the beach house is the idea of truly indulging in the independence of the celebration. We would all be 18 and be, admittedly, partying having made it this far! Chaperoning in any sense would ruin the whole trip, so I guess if my parents will only let me go if my group of friends goes chaperoned I would stay home.
I completely understand the fear of any irresponsible or troublesome party behaviors, but since there will already be so many groups of high schoolers in the area, it was mutually agreed amongst parties that everyone would be quiet and act with prudence (though I guess I cannot promise necessarily lawfully, which is really the true root of concern.)
But thank you for all your opinions and please keep posting!</p>
<p>And with that admission I change my answer to no across the board.</p>
<p>Please have contraception readily available. And don’t get mind numbing drunk. Would I let my D do this at 18? It depends. I am letting her fly to.Hong Kong for three.weeks, but she will be with a native and her parents. Not any other Americans.</p>
<p>This was recently discussed on this thread:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1278736-prom-night-afterwards-3.html?highlight=prom[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1278736-prom-night-afterwards-3.html?highlight=prom</a></p>
<p>I know I posted as an owner who will not rent to unsupervised teens.</p>
<p>lol@mspearl!</p>
<p>No way unless you are looking for a drunken, orgy experience for your child.</p>
<p>“since there will already be so many groups of high schoolers in the area, it was mutually agreed amongst parties that everyone would be quiet and act with prudence”</p>
<p>I’m sorry, this is absurd. 18-year-olds agreed in advance that they’ll be quiet and careful while they’re drunk? 50-year-olds can’t hold to that.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t let my kid partake.</p>