Age-Old Personal Dilemma

<p>Hey guys, I was hoping for as many opinions as possible on this matter, because it is very important to me. </p>

<p>I have a girlfriend that I've been going out with for just about 3 years now, (we're seniors in HS) and she didn't make Bing. She may be going to The College of New Jersey now, and if I were to go to Binghamton (if I were accepted) I would be 3 and a half hours away which would make it difficult to maintain a relationship. </p>

<p>I was also accepted at TCNJ, and I could join her there if I wanted, but Bing is my first choice. TCNJ is a very nice school, but I didn't love it as much as Bing. But I do think I could end up enjoying my time there if I went to TCNJ though. So my dilemma is:</p>

<ul>
<li>If accepted I can go to Binghamton, (1st choice school) but I would not go to school with my girlfriend.</li>
</ul>

<p>OR</p>

<ul>
<li>Go to TCNJ, also a good school (2nd choice)(closer, and more expensive) be with my girlfriend, possibly grow to like it more as time goes on. </li>
</ul>

<p>I know this isn't an advice column, but what do you think I should do????????</p>

<p>As lame as it might sound, things will work out the way they're supposed to, regardless of what college you choose. If you and this girl are supposed to be together, you'll work it out whether you stay together for school. My personal advice would be to attend whichever college is going to be the best academically for YOU, not for your relationship. </p>

<p>I'm going through the same dilemma of sorts (boyfriend wants me to stay close, I want to go further away to gain life experience, meet new people, etc). But if I get into Binghamton I'm going, since I've really become enamored with the place.</p>

<p>You should go to Binghamton if you get in, or whatever other school you feel is the best for you. If you go to TCNJ and then you break up with your girlfriend you might be at a school you don't want to go to and not have your girlfriend. If you two are meant to be together it won't matter where you go to school</p>

<p>Never let any relationship drag you to a certain college. Go to the school that will be your best fit. I have heard of too many kids that go away to the same school as their BF/GFand then end up breaking up by the end of the 1st semester or even as early as the start of the semester.</p>

<p>I'm going to be extremely blunt, forgive me. There is a 95% chance you will not spend the rest of your life with this girl, let alone college.</p>

<p>In short, don't make your college decision based on a relationship.</p>

<p>Relationships should definitely take a backseat to what's best for you, for awhile anyway. And long-distance can totally work, as long as you're committed (which you seem to be if you're considering attending her college just so you can stay together) and do little things to make it easier to be so far away from one another.</p>

<p>Go where you really want to go.....if the relationship is meant to be nothing will change.</p>

<p>I've been with my bf for almost two years now and we're very attached, haha---the only school we both applied to though is Bing (accepted SOM - me, unknown Harpur - him) but Bing right now is my 2nd choice out of 4 schools that I've already been accepted to (still waiting on 4...5? reaches, sigh.) Bing is his first choice, and it's close to all the colleges I've applied to (all are at least 3 hrs. away and yes, I consider that close) and we've decided to stay together in an open relationship (have heard this works great from some people, and is a train wreck from some others... we'll see, haven't ironed out the details yet.)</p>

<p>But... I understand your position, and agree with transfer2010 in that if it's meant to be, it'll work out. Many of my teachers actually have married their high school sweethearts, despite going to separate colleges---there's some hope. Maybe you'll have to come up with some unconventional methods to stay close, and perhaps pursue your relationship once things are settled?</p>

<p>Just some thoughts. Good luck :).</p>

<p>Thanks for the comments guys. I'm worried I didn't even make Bing now lol, since that website trick didn't work for me. I guess here's hoping it's coming in the mail and they haven't updated it yet.</p>

<p>Even if you both got accepted to the same school, I would advise that you go to different schools. It helps you to grow as a person, and it may not even help your relationship--and I speak as someone who has been married to the one I fell in love with at 18 for 25 years!</p>

<p>You answered the question yourself.</p>

<p>"Binghamton, (1st choice school)" </p>

<p>There is a reason why it's your first choice. Like others have said, you'll stay together if it's meant to be. But at the age of 18 you can't let someone else make a decision for you that you could regret later.</p>

<p>P.S. If she really loves you, she'll be happy for you where ever you go.</p>