I’m a transfer student from a community college going to a state school two hours away from home, it’s my first year living away from home. My roommate moved out (no trouble - she lives 30mins away, didn’t want to spend the $, whatever) when she moved out I turned the second bed into a couch and brought over my television I previously had no room for. Last week an RA wrote me up because apparently we can’t use both sides of a double without spending an extra $3,000. nOw that side of the room is bare and lonely. I haven’t made too many friends here and I don’t fit in with anyone because I transferred at an awkward time. I’ve contacted head of campus housing because I thought (and still slightly think) the RA is targeting me, but she also said I’m not allowed to utilize both sides. I try to let it go but having half a room empty makes me feel even more alone and miserable and I do believe it has impacted my mental health negatively. I’ve cried almost every night. I haven’t damaged anything inside the room or in my living suite or done anything illegal etc. People (students and a family member who is Dean of another college) have told me this rule is unreasonable and damaging. I don’t know if I should let it go and be miserable or try to fight it, but I don’t want to 1. fight a fight I can’t win or 2. get kicked out of the dorms/school. I’m so lost…
That is pretty weird. It seems up to the school to fill that space, or let you use it. I’d go back to the head of housing politely and ask if the policy is formally documented in writing (in your dorm lease or written dorm policies).
It is not unusual for housing to require a person to stay on their half of the room even nobody is living on the other space. I have heard this happening before. The school wants to retain the right to move someone in without notice, they want to keep the furniture unused etc. You can’t fight it because you are not paying for the whole room. I do think your RA should have spoke to you about it and given you a day to move your stuff back before writing you up. You can talk to your RA or ResLife to see if there is something you can do (maybe hang a partition in the room, move the furniture in a way that cuts the room off etc. that would make you feel better about it. And you can see about either getting a friend to move in next semester or moving to another room yourself.
I would recommend that you seek out counseling at the school if you feel unsettled/unhappy. Let a professional help you work through those issues. I’d also suggest you try to get involved in activities you care about and use that as a way to meet more people and keep busy.
That is actually pretty common in most colleges, including mine. Like the poster above said, they usually have to do it because they want to reserve the right to have someone else move in that space randomly during the semester. You have the buyout option, but if you don’t buy it out, then the space is considered a vacancy. However, the RA thing sounds a bit strange to me. How did your RA know that you were occupying the other half of the room? Normally they’re not allowed to do random room inspections nor are they allowed to go into your room without permission/justified reason. I know someone who was actually in a similar situation as you last year (with the move in thing that is) where they ended up using up both sides of the room when they weren’t supposed to, and she ended up getting a crazy huge fine when the school decided to stick another girl in her room but the new girl wasn’t able to move in cause she was taking up the entire space.
Also, if you’re so sad to the point that you’re crying every night, I would go and meet with a counselor at your school.
My D had to do an emergency room change earlier this semester due to big problems with her current arrangement. She was notified of the new room assignment about 9 in the morning, went to the housing office to sign the papers at 11 when she had a break in classes, and was given a key, She started moving in later that afternoon. Her new roommate was notified by email that someone was moving in, but was given no time to clean up the space. Think of how it would have been if my D had arrived to the new room with her belongings and found that her half of the room including her new bed had stuff on it. She should not have to move someone elses’s stuff out of the way so that she could move in. And where would your TV go in this circumstance? I know this makes the room unattractive, but you have no right to put anything in that space.
UPDATE: I emailed my RHD and unfortunately it is in writing. They won’t even let me put a light or a blanket on the other bed just to make it less desolate. The other thing is that this RA has told me that instruments (I’m a music student, and music is our most popular major) are not allowed in the rooms, but this is NOT in writing, and other people have instruments with no issue… I still feel she is targeting me. I’m taking extra credits during the winter and summer so I can have enough credits to move onto campus apartments. I’ve decided to let it be this semester but possibly look for a roommate next semester. My RHD has been really understanding and nice while the RA (not even my assigned one) has been rude and coming into my room multiple times this week (random room inspections are not allowed, but she comes into my room to fit something out regarding my old roommate, and will scold me for a random violation - 90% of the time one I cannot find in the handbook). I feel like I’m trapped in a jail cell. I’m still getting in to see the counselor, and I’ve tried avoiding my dorm all together.
Try to look into getting a new roommate. Don’t try to fight it you definitively won’t win
Source: Witnessing the exact same thing happen to my friend and the uselessness of her trying to fight
What kind of instrument do you have? Flute vs harp? How is the RA entering the room? Does she have a pass key or are you opening the door? You might have to ask the RHD have the RA complete all paperwork regarding the old roommate and cease interrupting your peace. Also, read the handbook and clear up any remaining violations so that does not continue to be an issue.
an acoustic guitar and a microphone (with sound proofing pads, and i never play music past 4pm)
Presumably there’s a music building with practice rooms?
there are practice rooms but they are awful for recording and the recording studio is always booked
If you want a roommate for next semester I suggest you start looking now. Or alternatively see if you can move elsewhere next semester.
I have a meeting with a few other girls next week. Hopefully I find someone. I also found out that the RA that has been doing this has been treating other residents poorly.