I just moved into my dorm today. Now, my roommate has already moved in 3 days prior to me so that she can go through sorority rush. Well, I moved in alone (parents couldn’t come), and I get to the room and I don’t have anywhere to put my stuff. Firstly, I didn’t want my bed lofted but my bed is lofted and turns out my roommate lofted MY bed without asking and is using it for her futon and various other storage. Both closets are filled with her clothes, all the drawers are taken, and the desk space is cluttered with her stuff. I thought I might have the wrong room so I check with the RA. I’m in the right room. I tell her about the situation and she said said that I cannot move or touch any of her stuff because it’s illegal (invasion of privacy) and could bring up allegations of theft. My roommate finally showed up about an hour ago and has REFUSED to move her stuff because she got there first and the early bird gets the worm. I realized reasoning with her won’t work and so I go to the RA again. The RA says that they can’t make her do anything and I will just have to work around her. The hall director backed up the RA when I went to him as well! So what do I do? This girl won’t reason, the RA and hall director won’t help but what am I supposed to do? How can I get my roommate to compromise?
TL;DR, my roommate took over the entire room and won’t talk to me. The RA and hall director won’t make her share.
Probably not the advice you should take but if it was me, I would talk to her again and TELL her/demand that she move her stuff. Of she didn’t, I would then move her stuff out of my half of the room - my desk, under my lofted bed, my dresser, closet, and put them on her bed and let the chips fall where they may.
What you should do? Take some photos with your phone of the situation and go directly to the Residential Life office and speak to the head of Res Life. You tried talking to the hall director and RA and got nowhere. I think they are wrong if what you are saying is correct. You could have your parents call and make a stink as well. It’s usually best to handle things yourself but sometimes the bill payer needs to get involved.
Downside: This is not a fortuitous start to building a relationship with your roomie. I don’t think it bodes well for the rest of the year.
Aside: What kind of school has new freshman show up early to do sorority rush? That seems odd.
All of this just happened within the last hour? So where is all of your stuff right now? Perhaps your roommate will get tired of your stuff piled in the middle of the room and become more cooperative.
Uggh, I’m sorry you’re off to such a rough start, and it irritates me that your RA and Hall Director weren’t on your side. I think you have to present as specific an argument as you can–not just about how unfair it is, but about why it makes it hard for you to get settled. Just, don’t give up on this.
Yup, I’d move her stuff while she is not in the room. Take exactly half of the space and pile the extra in her bed. Take photos before you move her stuff.
Just put your stuff on top of hers and on her bed and such; let her know she’s not the only one who can be petty (:.
In all seriousness though, you should move up the ladder as other posters have said to whoever is in charge of dorms or residential affairs. No roomate should get claim to more than their fair share of the room. If possible though, maybe request a room change since if she’s already being catty at the start, it can probably only get worse from there. Hopefully this gets worked out quickly for you and let karma take care of the rest (:
“Give her a high five. In the forehead. With a chair…” I love that. But seriously @doschicos gave the best advice. Take some photos of the dresser and closet that you have been shut out from. In addition take pictures of her futon under your loft. Go to the head of housing and politely demand a new room situation. The RA and Hall Director are clearly not capable of doing their jobs. If you are not moved within 24 hours seek your parents assistance. They may need to hire an attorney. Don’t touch the roommates things or surely this entitled thing will claim you damaged or stole something. Please keep us informed. Please name this college for the students now making applications. I have the impression that sororities rule it.
Just remember you’re paying for the room as much as she is!! You have a right here. Take pics of the situation then move her stuff from your side of the room ( don’t hesitate) and go to the residential life office
You and/or your parents are paying for one bed, one desk, one closet, and one dresser. You are entitled to your half of the space. I can’t believe your RA and hall director are not intervening or meeting with you and your roommate since you have already tried to handle this on your own with no luck. Go up the ladder as others have advised. I’m so sorry things are starting out so badly for you.
Just reading about this situation gives me a stomach ache. You need to go to Res LIfe. My daughter was an RA for two years and I can assure you this would never have been allowed and it would have been taken care of at the RA-level. Shame of the RA and Hall Director for doing nothing.
Morning guys! I slept around her clothes last night in my bed (small victory) and have texted my parents about the situation. I’ve taken all the necessary photos and I’m waiting on a meeting with the head of res life. As to the room, I have my boxes stacked in the middle like a wall (not that it’s doing much). I will definitely be trying get a change in roomates even if it means a change in halls. I’ll just let her pay the full 7,400 for the semester. I mean, with all the designer stuff she has laying around, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?
So I’ve spoken to the head of res life. He told me that my RA and HD were in the wrong and that I am allowed to move her stuff as long as I have two witnesses that watch to protect me in case of any theft allegations. So I’ve got a note for my RA and HD to come straight to my room and watch me move my stuff. He doesn’t want me to switch roomates yet, he wants us to give it a shot at working it out still. Not quite what I wanted but at least I have a side. I’m also tearing down the loft and putting it back on her side and doing a large tape line through everything. Childish? Yes. It’ll get my point across though.