<p>What would you do if you figured out your D would be alone in a dorm for several days before the RA or other students moved in? I wouldn't stay in an empty hotel without a desk clerk, why is it OK to put a kid alone in a dorm? (Yes, the school says others won't arrive for 3-4 number of days.) D needs to be there at a time when there are a few other kids on campus--mostly athletes. It just happens she's been assigned to a dorm that doesn't have any other early arrivals.</p>
<p>Why does she have to stay in HER dorm? She should find someone to move in with temporarily, like one of the athletes.</p>
<p>I think I would be a little worried. I would want to know what the security is like for the building she will be in. Who has access and how? It does seem strange but I’m sure this is not the first time that her school is allowing early move-ins. Perhaps you could contact the Housing Department to reassure you and her. I know that at my D’s school, the RA’s and other housing staff are in place before the Internationals and Freshman arrive, almost two weeks before those groups and three weeks before the upperclassman.</p>
<p>bah it will be fine. Chances are if that dorm is like mine they lock it up and have security check in every so often. Besides she can lock her door :P</p>
<p>I have a conversation going with the head of housing. She’s been factual, but not solution-bearing. In my latest email, I asked for a temporary key to another dorm and dorm room, so at night D can have others nearby. Perhaps I’ll get an answer tomorrow. I have no problem with having D be inconvenienced, as I’d rather she be in a safer situation.</p>
<p>Adding … that part of the problem/issue is that she’s assigned to a small dorm (30 rooms) on the edge of campus, not to a larger dorm, where there will be other early move-ins.</p>
<p>Mom, I would so not like this for my D. I had some issues myself in dorms a jillion years ago, so maybe I’m just a little hyper-sensitive to questions of security. For security and for the sake of connecting with people (vs sitting in a room alone for 3 days) I am hoping you can get her moved temporarily.</p>
<p>If it is only for a few days and if the security situation seems unacceptable, why not move D’s stuff in, and then put her up at a nearby hotel?</p>
<p>We had a similar situation when we moved D in to her dorm room freshman year. Only athletes were on campus and her dorm was very empty. There might have been an RA somewhere in the dorm, but we didn’t see any. I didn’t give it any thought at the time. On the other hand, I think her campus was and is very safe.</p>
<p>What does your daughter think? Is she worried, or just you?</p>
<p>I can’t put her up in a hotel. She’s an athlete and needs to participate in team activities. She’s trying to be brave about this, but she’ll jump if you come around the corner and she’s not expecting you. She’ll agree to stay in another dorm. I’d like to get a room key so she doesn’t have to sleep on someone else’s floor during preseason. </p>
<p>Just me? Nah. Friends who have worked on other college campuses think this is crazy. My FIL was a college professor his entire career can’t believe this situation. My boss, whose wife is a trustee at a top LAC, thinks this is nuts.</p>
<p>For what it is worth, this is an expensive private, and I still remember the murder at Lehigh.</p>
<p>I think I would ask the coach to advocate for you. They have a way of being able to get things done. My son’s coach (at a big D1 school) told us to call him <em>anytime</em> about <em>anything</em> regarding our children that was making us uncomfortable or worried. </p>
<p>Anything except the sport and the team – but anything else. This would qualify.</p>
<p>Has she been in touch with the team captain? Maybe she could stay with another first year athlete whose roommate is not an athlete and therefore won’t be on campus early.
I see cnp55 suggested coach-I wasn’t sure which would be better, coach or captain first.</p>
<p>Thanks CNP55, We may contact the coach or assistant coach tomorrow. She’s fairly close to two of the new recruits. One is at the far end of campus, and the other will be in a closer dorm, but she has another sport roommate so that room is full. If we could get D a key for an adjacent room in that dorm for a couple of nights, that would work. </p>
<p>I’m also having an unrelated conversation with a player who just graduated and may ask her opinion on all of this, and how to get things to work.</p>
<p>I would definitely contact the coach or team captain about this. If your daughter were a 2nd year student, I wouldn’t be too concerned. But for a freshman, I would not be happy if it was my daughter. I would push for your daughter and her teammate that is at the far end of campus be allowed to stay in the closer dorm with teammates until at least the RAs arrive. Best of luck!</p>
<p>There is nothing–nothing–creepier than an empty building at night. I would not stand for this for myself, much less my 18-year-old daughter. Stand your ground.</p>
<p>In any other instance I have heard of, athletes and other students who need to be on campus early (marching band or whatever) always room with others in their situation, even if that involves moving more than once (once into temporary housing and then into their permanent dorm.)</p>
<p>This is probably a non-issue for upperclass athletes, who may prefer to move in only once, and who are probably not uncomfortable in an empty dorm. (I stayed in an empty dorm once when I chose not to go home from college for Thanksgiving, and it didn’t bother me in the least – but I was a junior at the time.) But I can see why it would bother an incoming freshman.</p>
<p>Are there other freshman women who are going to be on campus early for the same reason as your daughter, and can she get in contact with them? If her dorm room is a double, maybe she could invite another girl to stay with her as her guest (even though the other girl would probably put most of her stuff into her official dorm room) for the first few days until the crowds arrive. The other girl is probably just as uncomfortable with the situation as your daughter is.</p>
<p>Update: None, really. No resolution today. We’re waiting for responses from the coach and another from housing. Perhaps tomorrow. I believe the coach was traveling today.</p>
<p>Someone may have already mentioned this but aren’t the resident assistants already on campus for training? Wouldn’t the RA be in the dorm with your daughter?</p>
<p>why does she have to stay in a dorm? can you rent a hotel very close to campus and stay there for 3 days w/ her while she does her sports activities but sleeps in the hotel at night.
dorm by day/ hotel with one parent at night/ if a parent can go w/ her about letting her have a friend go and they can hang out together at night</p>