<p>I know this topic has been covered several times, but I need feedback on my specific situation.</p>
<p>Up until 3:00pm today, I had a home in which to live, my mother's home. She kicked me out of the house today for discharging from an eating disorder treatment center without her permission. I am 23 years old. I left the eating disorder treatment center because I cannot physically tolerate the meal plan. I have severe gastroparesis (also known as delayed gastric emptying) and it takes me 10.5 hours to digest HALF of a single meal. I meet with a surgeon for a consultation regarding a J-tube on August 6th, and the entire point of going into a treatment center was for the meal support, and I am unable to tolerate even the lowest meal plan, so I discharged and am awaiting the appointment with the surgeon. A few years ago, she had me deemed, by the government, incapable of handling my own finances, so my disability checks come to her, in her name. I am not even legally allowed to have a bank account. My only access to money is my credit card under her account. She plans on canceling it tomorrow. I do not have a penny to my name, literally. I will be couch surfing and sleeping in my car.</p>
<p>I start at UCLA in the fall, at least that is the plan but it depends on my health, and will be living in the dorms there. However, there is a chance that my father will refuse to pay, again, depending on my mental and physical health. </p>
<p>So, do I now qualify as homeless? The description says "A student is considered homeless if he or she lacks fixed, regular, and adequate housing. This includes students who are living in shelters, motels, cars, or parks, or who are temporarily living with other people because they have nowhere else to go." This is my current situation, but I just am uncertain about whether or not I should change my FAFSA. </p>
<p>I plan on contacting the financial aid office in the morning to find out what kind of verification would be needed to qualify as homeless, but any input would be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>I know we don’t have all the facts here so all I can really do is give you advice based on what you’ve told us. First of all, I’m so sorry about your eating disorder as well as your gastroparesis. I struggled with an eating disorder for years and it takes baby steps. There’s a huge stigma that the suffering person has some sort of choice in the matter. Due to this stigma, people sometimes react antagonistically to those with eating disorders. Seems as if your mother is not being very empathetic and I don’t think she truly understands your situation. She might wake up in the morning and realize that’s not what she wants to do (and hopefully apologize!)…if that happens, then great. Be cordial with her until you can get into the dorms and then I would suggest deciding what kind of relationship you would like to have with her in the future.</p>
<p>If that doesn’t happen: you do need to call financial aid office first thing in the morning. Change it on FAFSA asap. IMO, you are homeless for FAFSA purposes if you can answer “yes” to that question. Is there any way you can get a cash advance on your credit card tonight or at least pick up a few things you might need for the next few weeks?</p>
<p>this pertains to students usually in high school. Unfortunately, since you are 23, as a legal adult, your parents are not required to have you live in their home.</p>
<p>It sounds like you need to go back into treatment and try to work out something with them there. It seems like your parents may be willing to support you if you’re in treatment.</p>
<p>If so, then she is still your legal guardian, and has a legal obligation to provide for your needs. You need to go to court to terminate the guardianship (and get the checks sent directly to you). Then you can be independent.</p>
<p>If she is just your representative payee for your disability check, she is not your legal guardian and that is not the same as having you declared incompetent by a court. It is an administrative determination made by the Social Security Administration. However, as your representative payee she has a legal obligation to use your funds to provide for you. If she is not doing so then you need to contact social security and see about either getting a new payee or having the requirement for a payee lifted.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have shortsightedly left the treatment center. You should return there until your fall admission to UCLA. That is your short term means for housing and satisfying your parents, not to mention the treatment it sounds like you so desperately need. You left with no backup plan for housing and treatment at all, so I don’t blame your mother. You can just as well wait to meet the surgeon while at the treatment center. If the court deemed you incapable of caring for yourself, and from what you have said here that is true, it seems like you have forced your mother into a tough love situation. You need only go back and wait to enter school in the fall. Try to keep the longer term goals in mind (not that it is so long just to wait until school starts) and try to prepare yourself to be healthy enough to attend school and eventually gain control of your own life. Sincere best wishes.</p>
<p>Agree with above post ^. It sounds like this is a long and complicated story, and I send you best wishes for positive changes to take place in your life. There is a lot for you to work on, and your healing and long-term health are the most important things to consider.In this I bet that you have support from us parents who feel for your situation.</p>
<p>However, you asked for feedback, so I have to tell you that leaving the center does not sound like a good decision on your part. You have an incredible opportunity, to go to UCLA. Why would you – at this point – sabotage this chance to start building your future?</p>
<p>Your mother has cared enough about you to support you as you deal with a health crisis. Putting up with a few weeks is a small price to pay for four years at UCLA, which many students only dream of. You are 23 and starting UCLA. A couple weeks may be difficult (again, I feel for you) but in the long run, worth it. Why keep putting off school even further? Why throw a wrench into the works, when it is finally “working”?</p>
<p>Roots and wings – what parents hope to give their kids. Please reconsider your decision. Think aboutyour life in ten years and how much better things could be.</p>
<p>I agree with the above two posts, and would add that someone in an eating disorder treatment facility in late July is by no means ready to go away to college in a few weeks! Your current dispute with your mother aside, you should delay entry into UCLA until your health is well stabilized–whether by further eating disorder treatment, surgery, whatever is necessary.</p>
<p>WiseClan, as others have posted, since you are over 21, I don’t believe you are considered homeless for fin.aid. Are you technically homeless right now? Yes. I hope the first thing you will do is call the treatment center, and see if you could readmit yourself. I know it sucks. I’ve been there. But, your bright future is worth the hard work right now, right? Could you maybe get off a meal plan if your body can’t tolerate it, but drink nutritional drinks instead? I hope that in the coming weeks, you are able to first of all get healthy, and second of all, figure out what is at the root of your ED so that you can begin to work on that. The last thing you will need during your time at UCLA is continued struggles with ED. Can you defer your enrollment until January, and take the time instead to do serious therapy and work a bit? Fresh out of treatment is NO WAY to start college…again, trust me, I was there once a long time ago. You are 23. This eating disorder has had plenty of time with you. Do what you need to do to kick it to the curb so that you can be happy, healthy, have fun while you are still young, and live the LIFE you are meant to live. I’m rooting for you! Go back to the treatment center. Ask someone to work with you on the food issue. Identify foods that you can tolerate. You know it isn’t really about the food, down deep. But start there if you have to.</p>