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<p>Note that just about every school has an expected student contribution (ESC), typically $4,000 to $10,000 per year, to be met with student loan and/or work earnings (work study). So a “meet full need” school will offer grants = COA - EFC - ESC.</p>
<p>California residents will find that UCs use FAFSA to calculate EFC. ESC will be around $9,000 per year (slight variation by campus), but then the UCs meet full need with grants beyond that for California residents.</p>
<p>NJSue brings up a good point. We are divorced, and my ex-H stopped paying child support about a month ago when D2 turned 18. But… he is willing to chip in some for college. He did not pay anything for D1’s college (don’t get me started), but I approached him about whether he could continue to at least provide the amount he has been paying for child support toward college expenses for the next four years. He did, and actually upped it by about $5,000 because D2 is attending an expensive school and he knows I have some other financial issues looming at the moment.</p>
<p>So ask your dad if he could contribute. You might be surprised.</p>
<p>Still… you may have to lower your expectations, especially if your goal is to keep your debt low. This happens to thousands (probably 10s of thousands) of kids every year when they figure out that their families can’t or won’t pay for a high end college education. Plenty of people are successful even if they don’t go to top schools like Amherst.</p>
<p>You mentioned that you don’t like your state university. Does your dad live in a different state with better options? If so, consider whether establishing residency there makes sense. Also check to see if your state has any reciprocity with other states.</p>
<p>Start looking here for schools that are generous with merit aid -
[Kiplinger’s</a> Best Values in Private Colleges-Kiplinger](<a href=“http://www.kiplinger.com/tool/college/T014-S001-kiplinger-s-best-values-in-private-colleges/index.php]Kiplinger’s”>http://www.kiplinger.com/tool/college/T014-S001-kiplinger-s-best-values-in-private-colleges/index.php)
The table shows private universities, you can select LACs at the top to see them. Separate table for public universities.
You can sort on the columns.</p>
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<p>Your parents are very well off but are clearly not Rockefellers, they work for a living. If your brother really spent 10k a year + 20k a year in loans, thats 30k/yr out of pocket. Times 2 kids thats 60k/year tax paid money, meaning they’d have to make 100k before taxes. Thats 100% of their discretionary income/year and that’s assuming you arent vastly overestimating their gross incomes. You can make a case that its irritating they had kids and then did not provide for their education, but some people value things differently than others. Its how the world works.</p>
<p>In any case, Are you listening to yourself? You need a major reality check. 10k a year is 10k more than a lot of people get. I bet that includes all insurance costs, a car, and a few other things you don’t even consider.</p>
<p>We don’t know what your instate public options are, but I’d never spend that kind of money on my kid to go to a private school considering the value add is questionable at best for 70% of kids. You’d be much better off (and wealthier) dominating a state school than middle of the pack in an elite private.</p>
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<p>No guarantee that would happen.</p>
<p>Mad? Upset? You feel the way you do, and I don’t know how much control you or most of us have over our emotions. Yes, it hurts. And we hurt our kids the same way. We make too much money, have too much in assets for financial aid, but we cannot come up with what a private HPY or any school charging that amount costs. And we are not willing to downsize to afford it. We are not willing to go into our pensions, sell our house and move into something smaller, and give up other amenitites that we are enjoying so that our kids can go to those schools. And we did not save enough for them to be able to do so on savings. And we are not in a step parent or divorce situation.</p>
<p>None of our kids were upset about this. We told them what we could uncomfortably afford and they went with it. They enjoyed and enjoy what our money provides too, and they do not want us giving up the house and other things that our money buys us.</p>
<p>I’m disappointed with the way it’s turned out for us, but going over the choices and alternatives, there still would not be enough for us to drop $60K+ per kid per year for private college.</p>
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<p>100% guarantee that you won’t be saddled with 80k+ of debt for questionable benefit. We really need to hear what his flagship is.</p>
<p>You said your parents don’t have assets. </p>
<p>Either they are truly terrible with money or more likely took a hit with the economy/divorce/business/lay off/medical bills/have their own substantial debt (even student debt)/house underwater/step dad paying alimony and are still trying to give you kids and themselves a nice life in a nice house in a nice neighborhood with nice jeans and SAT PREP and soccer lessons, pizza once a week, and money for prom and finance their own retirement all at the same time. </p>
<p>It’s not as easy as it looks. </p>
<p>I get you’re bitter. Guess what? I"M bitter that my money doesn’t stretch far enough too.</p>
<p>You lost me when you pointed out that your parents “treated themselves” to a vacation. In my very personal opinion, you do indeed sound spoiled and bratty. Sorry if you find yourself “stuck” at state.</p>
<p>There are so many other ways to get the money.</p>
<p>Not everyone is sensible with money, and I’ve learned that many parents, especially if they went to college with minimal support from their parents, don’t have a very realistic picture of how easy that is to do today. So it’s okay to feel a bit put out, but not very productive.</p>
<p>I see that you have two jobs. The first and most critical is to get a real handle on what everyone is willing to contribute to your education. Might your custodial parents be willing to kick in a little bit more to account for inflation? Ask to have lunch with your Dad face to face and have a conversation about colleges. Tell him what you’ve found running the various financial calculators. Tell him about FAFSA and CSS and the different ways they look at income. Tell him about your Ivy dreams. And then ask what if anything he’s willing to pitch in. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised, maybe he lost his fortune to Bernie Madoff, maybe he’s underwater on his mortgage. Once you know what your true financial picture is you’ll know what tack to take in putting together a college list. But rest assured, I’ve heard many happy endings of stories about kids who ended up attending their financial safeties. There are lots of good colleges out there where you can have a fine and affordable education.</p>
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I totally agree. I’ve been to about 50 schools with my two oldest and the #1 overriding impressions is that students have so many excellent choices. We went from school to school and I was amazed to continuously find happy enthusiastic students who love their school … and to think this would be a great place for the right student … school after school. I have pretty high achieving kids and I could seeing them doing just fine at almost 200 schools (Research Us and LACs). I believe there A TON of options for motivated students.</p>
<p>My flagship is Umass, which would end up costing some hefty amounts that would require loans, so I feel as if that is not enough of a financial safety. </p>
<p>I have left a voicemail. I’ll see if he responds soon. And you are right, I did come off as spoiled. My stepfather works a very physical job that is depleting in more ways then one. He deserves a vacation. Where anger came from was that my parents spend relatively loosley but are unwilling to talk more openly about paying for college.
I also think b that I came off as someone who belongs to a Country Club and takes SAT prep classes. All my acheivments in academics are due to myself carving out a unique academic experience at my local public high school. My mother and stepfather, in my opinion, put more value in hard work and efficiency then academia. I’m not saying that is bad, but it is different then my father’s point of view and that puts a little more conflict in the situation. </p>
<p>Thank you all for calling me out. It’s interesting what even a day of cooling off can do for you thinking.</p>
<p>Thank YOU for coming back and sharing that.</p>
<p>My parents refused to do FAFSA forms, period. My parents otherwise spent freely, no financial problems. On May 1 deadline years ago, my parents compelled me to belatedly apply and enroll at a local 3rd-rate commuter college never previously considered, “because they didn’t want to spend the money”. Several years later, an otherwise uncooperative sibling w/lower grades/scores attended same “too expensive” university as “full pay”, lived on campus w/parent-bought new car, went abroad for a year, etc. Guess it depends on how loud you complain, or how favored you are. It’s a difficult situation to be in, not qualifying for financial aid and not having available parents’ income resources. </p>
<p>That said, time for alternate plans for you. If you’re truly an “Ivy profile”, go focus on distant “Tier 1.5” less prestigious schools that are seeking geographic diversity and/or some other unusual characteristic that you can display. Look at Olaf in Minnesota, for instance, which is academically-strong and has great merit aid. Check for NYT article that flagged schools with great merit aid; many offer a strong academic program just with less prestige. There are plenty of strong Midwest schools that have undeservedly low-profiles here on CCl. Best wishes.</p>
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<p>Looks like the in-state list price is about $25,000, so with a $10,000 parent contribution, that would need a $15,000 student contribution, which is more than most financial aid offices typically assume that a student can come up with from Stafford loans and a reasonable amount of work earnings ($4,000 to $10,000 is the typical expected student contribution range).</p>
<p>There are some large scholarships, but none appear to be automatic, so they would not make the school a (financial) safety:
[UMass</a> Amherst: Financial Aid Services - Scholarships](<a href=“Financial Aid : UMass Amherst”>Financial Aid : UMass Amherst)</p>
<p>Look in the automatic big scholarship list linked to in post #2 for safety candidates.</p>
<p>After re-reading the first post, I noticed the point that the $10,000 that the mother and stepfather are giving the OP comes in part from child support. Step-family relations are always tricky, but I could see a case for arguing that the mother and stepfather should put the same amount toward the education of the OP and the OP’s step-sibling, and then the money from the OP’s father should be added on top of that.</p>
<p>One advantage to living in MA is that you have so many schools within a fairly short distance. UMASS does have honors dorms and classes, so it would be very possible to get a quality, rigorous education there. Still not interested? Consider other state schools in New England–they have a reciprocity agreement, so you pay less than other OOS students (but more than in-state), if you went to, say UCONN. We’re in NH, and for whatever reason, this was the “year of the safety” for most kids in the top 10%. It’s a very competitive public HS, but I’d say half of the top 10% are going UNH or UVM, for whatever reason. So, you certainly would have good company. In addition, there are literally hundreds of colleges in the area that are more rigorous than a state school, but still might offer you decent merit aid. Or, you could consider a different direction–one friend of ours, his son went to Rutgers, and was considered a “diversity candidate” because he was a white kid from NH. A friend of my daughter’s did the same thing only with U. of Iowa.</p>
<p>The important thing is, you’re aware of this now, and can tailor your list of colleges to find a true match–one that’s academically rigorous and meets your financial circumstances. It would help you a lot to be able to clarify the situation with your parents, too–personally, I don’t think it’s fair that child support be counted as part of the $10k they give you, like they do your step-brother, but it’s not my family, so my opinion doesn’t matter. What you have to do is swallow your anger, assess the situation, and make the most of the cards you’re dealt.</p>
<p>^ QM, good point.
OP has a right to be reeling. I did plenty of that before D1’s finaid came through.</p>
<p>There is a lot good about UMass, especially the consortium, which allows classes between the 5 colleges. You could spend plenty of time at Amherst. If Mom and dad each kick in 10k, your Stafford (5500)would pretty much cover the rest.</p>
<p>Ucb’s estimation can be broken down, to make it less scary. IME, about 2000 student contribution from summer earnings, the 5500 loan and 17-2000 work study. If I’m missing something, ucb can add it in.</p>
<p>If you have a stepbrother still in college, I believe his expenses figure into calculations. I believe, same as if he were your own brother. Have you actually looked at the Profile and did you include him in the NPC?</p>
<p>Now also this to add to Thumper’s explanation: some schools ask for the NCP info, but do not weigh it heavily.</p>
<p>ps. the reciprocity via nebhe only covers majors not available in your home state or when you are within 60 (?) miles of another state’s targeted campus. And it’s usually a split in the difference between IS and OOS.</p>
<p>Get a job and supplement the amount they are willing to give you. </p>
<p>Some of us worked our way through college without parental help. I realize it is more expensive now, but you have to work within your means. If you have high stats, you might have all kinds of opportunities you have not yet uncovered. </p>
<p>Your parents do not owe you money, nor an explanation of their spending priorities. You might get some answers if you ask politely though.</p>