<p>OP- If your brother has 80,000 in loans he must have a co-signer for part of them which I assume must be your mom and step dad. So IF he can’t afford the loan payments (there have been a lot of stories of college grads having trouble making payments) then they will be on the hook for them. This might be part of why they don’t want to agree to pay more than 10,000 per year. Also if you need to take out loans are they willing to co-sign for you and more importantly will they be able to assuming they already have co-signed for your brother?</p>
<p>Your parents are not obligated to send you to college. Consider yourself lucky that they choose to give you anything.</p>
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<p>You can make a case, but the honest truth is that it isn’t your money and you can’t make them give it to their child (if they even have it at all).</p>
<p>I think we get your point. The only reason the situation of them paying exists is us because they said they would pay soccer I was very small. So yes it is great to be financially independent, but to do that I would have to withdraw so many loans that would be impossible to escape from (this is assuming a full pay situation). One again I don’t think much fin aid is coming my way. Also because of the sheer amount of loans my parents would have to cosign, right? So I would keep me dependent on them in a way. I love my parents and I don’t feel like our would be the smartest financial move if I attempted to be independent financially. </p>
<p>More information you guys may want to know: according to the divorce agreement, my parents wrote that they would split the costs of college equally. This was written when college was cheaper and I’m not sure how each party feels about that.</p>
<p>If the OP can get full tuition some place, the $10k will take care of room and board many places. Lots of really bright kids do not get to attend the school of their dreams and it is almost always (is there another reason?) money. </p>
<p>As a full pay family, we never imagined that a private university would cost what it does now. Some days I feel a bit guilty that super student and great kid number one took the scholarship rather than going to Chicago, the school she had dreamed about for years and whose brochures seemed to be directed at her. She graduated this spring and is looking for a job.</p>
<p>Looks like your parents probably overpromised in the past, but are now about to underdeliver. That is bad news in general, but at least you know now before making your application list, rather than finding out in April that your parents cannot or will not pay for any of the schools you are admitted to even though they promised before to “make it work”.</p>
<p>Go back to post #2 and make your application list from those lists of big merit scholarship schools. Full tuition typically leaves about $10,000 to $15,000 per year remaining costs; if your parents can reliably come up with $10,000 per year, then you should be able to cover the rest with Stafford loans or work earnings. If even the $10,000 per year that your parents are saying now is questionable, include at least one automatic full ride school as a safety.</p>
<p>“I still can’t get over the fact that I am having to change my whole view because my parents divorced 14 years ago.” - It is tough having divorced parents (been there, done that). But keep in mind that that majority of students with married parents can’t afford EFC and have to make compromises in college choices. Many end up at Community College. With your stats, you can probably do better. Once you are past the anger, the parents on this site can help you. </p>
<p>As I say it, your parents aren’t refusing to talk about college funding (some do). They’ve offered $10K/year. Now you need to find ways to stretch that.</p>
<p>You are far from unique. Many, many students who are smart enough to attend Ivy League and top tier schools have to settle for lesser known schools because of the cost.</p>
<p>And NO ONE wants to graduate with loans, but sometimes they are a necessary evil. It is YOUR education, and so it is only right that you should pay for part of it.</p>
<p>That being said, if your grades and test scores are that high, there are plenty of schools that will provide you with generous merit scholarships. Add that to the 10K your parents are GENEROUSLY giving you (many students get far less, if anything) and the $5,500 per year you can get in federal loans, you should be fine.</p>
<p>Neither of my kids could afford the top schools that they qualified for admissions-wise. Both are gainfully employed and very happy with life. Yes, it is a disappointment not to go where you’d prefer, but it is far from the worst thing that can happen in life.</p>
<p>For the parents that had kids who qualified for some big merit awards: are you willing to share the colleges where they qualified for big merit aid?</p>
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<p>The lists referred to in post #2 of this thread should give you a lot of ideas.</p>
<p>Fair - mmm - what is fair. I think it is fair to sit down with your parents and have an open discussion over finances. I think it is fair if parents look at their financial situation and share this with you. It wouldn’t hurt if you ask them for their opinions about schools and ask their input on how you could possibly achieve the education you are looking for. I do happen to think that parents have an obligation to help their kids with college financing, it is part of having kids. Equal money to each kid is not always a necessity. In our case our son got a full ride, and with his permission we used some of his 529 money to help our daughter. I guess I mean that as long as there is open communication about how much money there is and where it comes from (income, child support, savings, what have you) then you have been treated fair. And in your case that also means to disclose to each parent what the other one is giving you. Good luck!</p>
<p>I sympathize with the OP completely. I’m a full pay parent paying full price for two private colleges. We drove used cars and saved and invested wisely since the kids were born. However, we have two PhDs between us and know the value of education. It sounds like your parents are more blue collar and themselves haven’t grown up to value education over toys the way you do. No point in being angry. You can raise your own children differently. That’s how it starts. </p>
<p>It wasn’t clear if it was 10K total or 10K/yr that was available to you. </p>
<p>The big merit schools are primarily Pittsburgh and Alabama. Pittsburgh, the best in my opinion, offers up to a complete full ride and Alabama offers full tuition. The Pittsburgh Honors program seems really great and there is cross-registration at Carnegie-Mellon which is next door (it’s practically the same campus). I think the school is comparable to BU but it’s much easier to keep your scholarships there. BU requires a 3.5 and has really bad grade deflation which forces many people to lose their scholarships. </p>
<p>There are other full ride schools, but you’d probably be better off at UMASS, which is actually really good in some areas. </p>
<p>If you want a smaller schools, SUNY schools are comparable in price to UMASS even for OOS. </p>
<p>SUNY Binghamton is about 12000 students and is probably the closest thing NY has to a flagship for liberal arts majors. </p>
<p>SUNY Geneseo is an honors liberal arts college near Rochester that is much smaller. </p>
<p>University of Minnesota is also not a bad deal for OOS. </p>
<p>Ohio State has some great scholarships that could make it cheaper than UMASS and they have a terrific honors program (better than Commonwealth of UMASS, IMHO) that gives you priority registration over even non-honors upperclassmen. Your ACT score should get you in. This might be a great option because they have a lot of honors classes. </p>
<p>Miami University which is primarily a liberal arts college may have similar deals. </p>
<p>Truman State is a very inexpensive public liberal arts honors college in rural Missouri</p>
<p>Will you have enough AP credit to do college in 3 years? That may also be a worthwhile option. At a step up from what we’ve been talking about Wisconsin-Madison, McGill, Texas, and Toronto might be doable. The overall cost of these schools are in the 30K-40K range per year with little aid available but if for example you can do McGill is 3 years, perhaps it’s doable. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, a lot of people are really happy at UMASS. It’s really what you do there that matters. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>What do you want to do with your college degree? You do NOT need an “elite” school on your resume to do many of the things you might want to do after college–grad school, med school, business. If the pedigree is important to you, find a small LAC that offers merit aid (preferably out of the Northeast where you will be geographically desirable), do well there, and get into the leading grad school of your choice. This you CAN do.</p>
<p>Also, try not to judge your parents. They have to live too. And they, like many of us, have likely been blindsided by the ridiculous sticker price of college these days.</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is that once you or anyone turns age 18, parents are no longer required to provide care and/or resources. unless there is some court document stipulating it. It’s a great freedom one gets upon officially becoming an adult but also a great responsibility. Parents vary in ability and desire to support their children after that time period. They do before it, but there is a component of "you gotta’ three which is gone. College, like private k-12 is a luxury expense, for anyone. Just like whether a parent wants to give you the Grand TOur of Europe, a brand new car, or a card with a a hundred bucks in it for gradaution. Sleep away college is a great privilege.</p>
<p>Since we’ve already determined that 18 year-old kids can’t borrow sufficient amount of money themselves (w/o adult cosignor) to pay for college without significant aid, posters should stop criticizing this student for being upset with his situation. College is not a privilege for those who want a firm toe-hold in middle-class; it’s a requirement. As parents, we’ve an obligation to help our qualified children attain a college degree as best as we can, even if it requires true self-sacrifice by US. I think it’s a moral obligation. This student, through no fault of his own, seems stymied. Hope his parents blissfully enjoy their upper-middle class lifestyle, at expense of their children’s education, and don’t concern themselves whether their relationship eventually suffers. (I think there’s a little “just my stepson” going on here too.) My own wealthy and self-indulgent parents were quite parsimonious towards me, not reflective of their financial abilities, expected much “duty and obligation” from me nonetheless, and yes, it did affect our relationship.</p>
<p>And yes, we’re driving older cars with high mileage too.</p>
<p>Have been wondering if a nice talk with the parents- about the possibility you could be admitted to a highly competitive college- would rearrange their perspective. Their income “should” allow a good contribution. Paying/what they pay is their choice, yes. But they may realize they have a stake here. Strategy.</p>
<p>How did you do on mcas sophomore year? You might get a shot at the John & Abigail Adams scholarship which pays the tuition for any state school.</p>
<p>The John & Abigail Adams Scholarship is only $1714 per year. That IS full tuition. What they don’t tell you is that the fees are over $10K. </p>
<p>Last time I expressed an opinion about this, I got a formal warning from the moderators for making a political statement. I won’t be expressing an opinion this time, I’ll just report the facts.</p>
<p>My approach would be to talk to your father and again to your mother and stepfather. Get a FIRM handle on what you can depend on from those sources. I would not be so quick to abandon your dream of attending a competitive school. Perhaps you could consider attending on a part time basis while you work to make up the difference. You sound mature for your age, so perhaps a combination of school and work would suit you better than the typical full time college routine which often involves of a lot of partying. </p>
<p>No use in wasting energy on being angry, it is what it is. I would focus my energies on finding sources of funding for the education that you desire.</p>
<p>I received a PM that pointed out an error in my estimate of the parental contribution toward tuition expected by Harvard. I was estimating it at 10% of parental income (based on $135,000 in mother and step-father’s income). However, it was pointed out to me that the % is on a sliding scale, and so would be less than that in all likelihood. </p>
<p>(Also, the 10% limit cuts out at some point, before 10% of income would equal the tuition, but that is not relevant here.)</p>
<p>I think that parents’ views of responsibility for paying for college hinge significantly on their own experiences. If a parent did not attend college or worked his/her way through, then the parent is much less likely to feel an obligation to pay. Working one’s way through college used to be a realistic possibility, when tuition was lower relative to the student’s likely hourly rate. Now it is not possible at many schools. This complicates things.</p>
<p>My mother-in-law could not go to college at all (in the midst of the Depression). Her parents could not afford to send her to college, and beyond that, they needed the income she could generate as soon as she graduated from high school as valedictorian. She would have been really happy to go to a place like UMass.</p>