Am I stuck in a high-school mentality?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>In High school I had a fairly small group of close friends and I've been looking for it since I came to college in August, but it's been really difficult to find. I don't mean to be "cliquey" with any one, I would just like to have the support of a few best friends who all hang out together. Right now, I have a decent amount of good friends, but they are all spread out across different dorms and most of them have their own friend groups that I'm kind of left out of. Is it unrealistic for me to be expecting to have one "core" group?</p>

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<p>I wouldn’t say it’s unrealistic, however I think you’ll find that college affords you the opportunity to have multiple “core” groups, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your “best friends” don’t all have to be close friends with each other (or even have to know each other)–that is somewhat of a high school mentality.</p>

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<p>^^ What Champ said.</p>

<p>Also, I do have a “core” group, but it’s not as awesome as it may seem. The only reason they’re my “core” is because I hang out with some of them all the time and then the few others hang out with some of my actual friends all the time so we’re all together even though we don’t all get along or like each other. It’s actually kind of annoying after a while to be forced to be friendly to people you wouldn’t normally hang out with. I also have friends outside of the group and it’s such a relief to hang out with them once in a while instead. I see what you’re saying about the whole support thing; it does sort of happen for me, but honestly it’s not all that great. Focus on making good relationships with who you actually want to be friends with. You could maybe even start to introduce your friends and maybe they’ll like each other and there you go, you’ve formed your own “core” group.</p>

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<p>I do have acquaintance-type friends all across campus (you know, people I might get meals or hang out with, but I don’t talk to them every day). However, I also do have a pretty clear “core group,” to use your term, that I hang out with all the time. (And luckily, we do all get along and like one another - that’s why we’re such good friends.) So no, not unrealistic.</p>

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<p>What everyone said, I tried to be outgoing as possible when I was a freshman because I just I couldnt stand just hanging out with the same people all the darn time. My roommates girlfriends roommate does that and it annoys us to no end, i have acquaintance type friends all over the place, but i have multiple groups of close friends that I hang out with and do stuff with but only like 10 i hang out with constantly and like always see. I like to go out with different people and stuff from time to time because you know, it opens more doors and its fun! I see what you are saying but branch out man, do what makes you happy</p>

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<p>I suck at being social, and I actually prefer it that way. I’m not antisocial, I just don’t have the need for more than a small group of friends. I never really even had a group of friends until senior year in high school, but funny. They were all freshmen. So that’s nonexistent because I left, and everyone went their own ways back at home as well. My “core” friends are three people I met at Orientation. I have only have no more than four separate friends outside of that who I eat with and have a class with. And one or two of them are my suitemates. </p>

<p>Making friends does seem hard to me as well. You may have a bit of a high school mentality, but I guess it can still take some time, because a lot of freshmen are still in the h.s. mentality from my experience.</p>

7

<p>Coming from someone who was considered a “floater” in high school, I can see both sides of the issue.</p>

<p>A lot of people I know at my school have their core group that they are with 24/7, this has proven to be a good and a bad thing. Great, as they have gotten really close, all live in the same hall, etc. Bad, as there has been A LOT of girl drama and everyone knows everyone business.</p>

<p>Personally, I have a developed my core group of friends (who are also my sorority sisters) and have several other groups as well. And then all the mutual friends that sometimes are with us. I like my strategy in that I have a group of super close friends that I can tell/do anything with, a group that I eat lunch with, a group to hang in my dorm with, etc. I’ve also gotten SUPER outgoing since going to college, so I’m constantly expanding my social circle.</p>

<p>In my opinion, having a variety of people in your life is a good thing. Makes life more interesting and forces you to step outside your comfort zone and get good at networking.</p>

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<p>haha I don’t have anything resembling a core group and never have. Ever. To be honest? I’m kinda jealous of you guys that brag about it like it’s some kinda socially awesome penguin thing. SOMETIMES.</p>

<p>When I can do whatever the hell I want, that’s awesome too. I’ve got plenty of friends to have company too :slight_smile:

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