I read through many of the threads on this site. The following two comments stick out in my mind as troubling.
1> “The policy in the dorm is you can’t have a microwave in your room unless it is attached to a fridge, does anyone know how strictly this is enforced?”
2> “I read online that you can’t use tacks or nails on the wall, do they really mean this?”
There are many other of the same vain in reference to dorm policies, admissions policies, applications procedures, etc. Most of these questions are from parents, not students. Sure these are probably small things to worry about, but as a potential future boss to these students, I’m worried that the “gotta find a way around rules to benefit me” culture is pervasive today.
I worry when the questioned dorm rules are ones needed to prevent fires (no candles, no fairy lites, etc.) Why ignore a rule that is designed to keep you and your classmates safe?
I don’t think this generation is really any different than their parent’s generation about this stuff. We weren’t supposed to use tape on walls, but people did. We weren’t supposed to have tea kettles in our rooms, but people did. We weren’t supposed to drink in the dorms if we were under age, but people did.
What disturbs me more is when one generation treats another generation as if they are somehow flawed. The millenials take a beating which IMO is absolutely undeserved. We were different from the generation that came before us, and they are different - not better or worse, just different - than the generation that came before them.
See, I don’t remember my parents looking for loopholes for me. Sure, I’m no angel, but my parents were there to “govern me,” What bothers me about the posts is that the parents are looking to instruct their kids on how to “bend” the rules.
I still cringe to think that my mother called my first employer, when I was a high school senior, to ask if I could have some time off for a family vacation! Ack. My boss was NOT happy about that. So I can’t say much…
I think this is a function of the ease of the flow of information these days. 28 years ago when I was starting college there was no internet to ask questions. Well there might have been something but we did not have a computer. We probably asked people some questions along those lines. It just wasn’t broadcast to the world.
Same goes for news stories. Mostly we didn’t know about some of the crazy stuff that happened in other cities because a newspaper only had so much space to report on things. The internet is almost unlimited space.
People haven’t changed that much just us knowing about stuff has.
Oh, I forgot the last part of the story. When I was hired, my employer (and I) assumed I would keep working there part-time once I started college. But I quickly realized that my honors engineering classes were really tough and there was no way I could work at all. My boss wasn’t happy about that, either! I don’t think I ever asked her for a recommendation.
@doschicos I’ve been a boss for 20 years and have been told I’m a pretty easy to work for one. However, I work in regulatory compliance and it grates on me when people first look for ways to be non-compliant.
Sometimes it is lack of context…you might not know that having a fridge and microwave on at the same time would blow a fuse. It doesn’t at home.
At home i can use tacks…you may not know of the wonder of Command Strips.
1> “The policy in the dorm is you can’t have a microwave in your room unless it is attached to a fridge, does anyone know how strictly this is enforced?”
2> “I read online that you can’t use tacks or nails on the wall, do they really mean this?”
I think part of it is that people are feeling over-regulated today, to the point where common sense doesn’t always prevail. Rather than saying “no tacks in the wall” perhaps the dorm should say “repair whatever damage you create or lose your deposit.” Back in the day, we could put whatever we wanted on the walls, and a lot of kids were buying paint and spackle at the end of the school year. Ironically, the dorms looked much better because they were “freshened up” every year. The microwave issue is a bit different since appliances can be fire hazards, especially in older dorms.
How many threads here have been about hiring an attorney for a traffic ticket? Or the “how can I get around an ED promise?” Countless others if I thought harder. Broadly speaking, many in our generation are helping to teach younger people that rules and promises are inconveniences and can be disregarded.
Brian- I agree with you philosophically. Having managed many younger employees over the last few years, there does seem to be a trend towards “rules don’t apply to me”. Young employees who can’t get their expense reports in on time and then whine that their check is “late”. No, it’s not late. You file your expenses on date X, you get your check 10 days later. You file it three days late, you’re STILL getting your check in ten days- but it’s a different ten days since you were LATE. Or who don’t understand the benefit selection process because they don’t have the luxury of changing their minds in March-- you either make your picks in October (like everyone else) you get the default selections which may or may not be optimal for you. Or who don’t understand that when the team staff meeting is 9-10 am every other week, the person who routinely shows up at 9:15 is not going to have enough time to present their fabulous idea, or is going to get stuck with an assignment they wouldn’t have volunteered for. You want control over your calendar? Show up on time and show your colleagues some respect for THEIR time.
OTOH, I remember the frantic repairing of the dorm room back in the 1970’s- tape marks, holes in the walls, missing desk chair… to make sure we got our room deposit back. So I don’t think that’s new.
But an overall sense that rules don’t apply AT ALL? That seems more recent in vintage.
There were no message boards when we all went to school. There were plenty of kids/parents who thought the rules did not apply to them… Not sure it is anything new. That being said, I have been frustrated that, at least in my office, the “young folk” really seem to think they can walk out at 5 whether the work is done or not and asking someone (even someone who has no home obligations such as getting to a childcare center before it closes) is a big burden. OTOH, I do hear my friends talk about the long hours their children work in more demanding jobs so it may be a function of our low key office.
The rules not applying thing is sooooo not a new thing. In any place I’ve ever worked, it’s been the white haired generation that most often seems to be saying either the rules don’t apply or they should have special rules. I see it online as well.
People not following the rules, sure that has always been there. But, for parents to blatantly first go to “how can we get around this rule?” That is the phenomenon that I’m talking about. My parents would not ask “can you have a microwave in your room if it isn’t enforced” to “get off you a*& and walk down the hall to make your popcorn.” It is just a pet peeve of mine, that people look for first how to break the rules without seeing if it can be followed; or worse spend more effort getting out of doing something then it would take to do it in the first place.
We are “over ruled” these days. Most rules are made with little thought and a “zero tolerance” philosophy that takes discretion away from people. People want less rules and want to understand the why behind the current rules. The less rules you have, the more easy it is to govern. A rule like “mircowave has to be attached to the refrigerator” is silly and has nothing to do with electric overloads, fire safety, etc. Tacking stuff on walls can be a problem due to damage, but today there are damage free options to make it work (not like when I was in school ).
We have to be “over ruled” because otherwise, people comply with NOTHING. The normal bounds of courtesy can’t be counted on.
In my town, there is a rule that there is no leaf blowing or lawn mowing before 8 am. Why does there need to be such a rule? Why don’t people just “know” that turning on a machine which sounds like a 747 landing isn’t nice to your next door neighbor at 6 am? Because they don’t “know”. They don’t know and they don’t care.
So there’s a rule. In the town I grew up in there were no such rules. But I don’t remember loud parties with amplified music past midnight, or leaf blowers early in the morning, or teenagers congregating in the middle of the street setting off firecrackers late into the night either. People understood what it meant to have neighbors and acted accordingly.
