<p>sjmom: You just reminded me of an old t-shirt that said "I've seen The Exorcist, nothing scares me anymore." With two teenage boys I agree with you.</p>
<p>Getting back to subject, I think the coed environment has helped them both greatly. It's the same with public school diversity. Better learn to live in the world as it is.</p>
<p>Choices, lots of choices. Differentiation, enrichment or acceleration, and re-direction. Where’s dmd77 to weigh-in on her positive puppy training analogy? </p>
<p>Lots of good discussion of the pros and cons and working against generalities. I like the co-ed environment for my boys. But for me, I’d start with a genuine understanding and respect for differences. And then apply differentiation strategies and choices. I’m a big advocate for using differentiation and enrichment strategies for all students and not limiting them to a subset of the population. I wish there were more teachers versed in employing choices. </p>
<p>Middle school is tough set of years for many students. We’ve experienced a number of learning settings. For one S he’d excel anywhere though he had his preferences. For other S he’d challenge all of them and preferred none of them. Both were smart students, both had an impact on the classroom. Both had instances where teachers loved them or hated them. </p>
<p>One would get in trouble for being too far ahead…marched into his counselor’s office and announced he was quitting. The other would get in trouble for well…just about anything. Think sexual harassment charges because he wrote that his teacher was a hermaphrodite…the most titillating and insulting thing this 6th grader could come up with. </p>
<p>With our school’s zero tolerance policy and heightened awareness of sexual harassment, a police officer was called into the VPs office to read S’s note and started laughing. Terribly funny kid who completely controlled the tenor of the classroom. Younger S was protesting the complete lack of respect in the classroom. In fact, he was protesting the teacher’s treatment of a shy girl in the science lab. We done lot’s of positive puppy training/redirection with this one through the years! </p>
<p>It doesn’t really matter if it’s a male or female teacher. We had one male teacher that was a nightmare and one young, single female teacher who was brilliant with boys. In all cases, we worked hard to help our boys understand their roles in the situation—then we enriched the heck out of them to keep them engaged on their terms. We taught them how to advocate for themselves and not succumb to the ‘I’m bored, so I can be a pain in the neck attitude’. </p>
<p>And as much as it is helpful to have an ideal learning situation, the reality is that our kids will be faced with a number of life situations that are less than perfect. We felt it was better to help our boys take the initiative to manage themselves and advocate for their needs. </p>
<p>But my goodness, there is so much a teacher can do to reach out to different types of students by just understanding differences and employing a few strategies to keep them engaged. We have been so grateful to the teachers that understand differences and build choices into their assignments when appropriate.</p>
<p>For whatever reason, at risk kids, particularly teens, are segregated by sexes in "reform" facilities. To eliminate sexual distractions , I would guess. But anywhere trouble is the big theme, we segregate by sexes.</p>
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girls, in my experience, don't like to argue "serious" topics with guys (at this age, anyways).
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<p>If you went to a coed school, maybe you wouldn't be so quick to stereotype girls that way. That you think so sort of tells me that you aren't in close contact with enough girls to realize that many (including me) have no problem with, and often really enjoy, arguing about serious topics with guys (like this one!) You say "from your experience..." well, I think your experience has been limited by a single-sex school based on a few of your comments, that's all. </p>
<p>It's one thing to say "I feel more comfortable discussing integrals with guys than girls" and "I wouldn't want to talk about ___ to a girl" and "I feel dorky in front of girls". That's a personal preference for each individual, and I know some people DO feel that way, and it's okay. It's something different to think that "girls are not interested in ____" That's a judgement on girls that isn't based on personal preference, and it's rather a naive thing to say.</p>
<p>Interaction with the opposite sex could make a difference with some kids who go to single sex schools. There is always that group of kids where some factor that does not matter much to the main stream would matter to them. It is entirely possible that a shy child who has little interaction with the opposite sex and ends up at a single sex school could end up avoiding contact nearly altogether and be very uncomfortable with the opposite sex. Harder to happen at a coed school. That was in part why I wanted a coed environment for my kids. My husband's genes make for pretty much an all male family in terms of our kids and cousins. I have only brothers. Which pretty much leaves me the only shining example of feminism in their lives. The burden is just too much for me. LOL. But, the two with the most coed education and exposures are the two with least understanding of females. My kids at the all boys schools have female friends from neighboring kids, sisters of friends, activities, old nursery school friends and just meeting girls from where ever. Though my one son has been at a coed highschool, the group of guys he's with don't seem to hang around the girls yet. Very young group of boys, in my opinion which seems to be a large part of the equation. But perhaps they would be even more withdrawn and perplexed by females if they were at an all boys' school? Possible. </p>
<p>I know that when certain all boy schools went coed in my lifetime, the all girls schools nearby did suffer in the marriage rate with males from a particular school. When I was a kid, many. many doctors were married to nurses. I know now, many doctors are married to fellow doctors which has to drop into the nurse/doctor marriage rate. </p>
<p>That's why I would not want to blanketly say that single sex environement are better for all. It really does depend on the circumstances and the people involved.</p>
<p>But cangel, I think there are plenty of co-ed schools out there where the top students aren't dominated by girls. I think it might be good to see what they are doing differently. It seems to me somewhere your school seems to be failing its boys.</p>