@MoreJavaPls , first off, my sympathy to you and your daughter. Bless her heart. My kid was waitlisted from my HADES alma mater. I get it. I was waitlisted too, “back in the day”.
A couple of notes and then my two cents…
As some prior posters have commented, it is WAAAAAAAAAY more difficult for a girl to be admitted than a boy. I learned this quite by accident when my kid was exploring BSs. I was initially in disbelief and/or denial. When she gets to be of college age, it will be just as bad–if not worse. Males have about a 50% greater chance of admissions at the elite coed LACs than girls. So, she could have been more qualified than your son and still not been admitted to PAA. Just sharing this with you as one mom to another. There are several threads on CC about this phenomenon. You might want to ingest some the information so that you can break it to her gently regarding boarding/prep school now and college prospects in the not-too-distant future.
Do you live close by the school–as in…is your son is a day student, or at least live in the Boston vicinity? If so, could you possibly reach out to the coach of the team for which she would potentially play? Has she met the coach and verbally expressed interest? Is she really good at her “unusual” sport? And here is the crazy part… if you are local and she is comfortable with the coach an she is good enough to make varsity as a Freshman (aka Andover Junior), could you both travel to their games/meets and root for the team and wave big posters supporting Gunga and Big Blue? I can’t imagine a coach NOT going wildly to bat for a child that overtly showed so much enthusiasm. But, only if she loves the sport and is willing to be embarrassed (a hard sell to a female teenager). Additionally, can she take up some other sport in the meantime–since Andover is a three season school? For instance, if she took up running (and by that liked it and was reasonably fast) she might be able to make the XCountry team or the Track team (depending on what season her primary sport is played) in addition to her “unusual” sport.
Get the SSATs up. That is something you can probably more easily control with time and practice (and money aka tutors).
Consider next year and/repeating for the 9th and 10th grade. Some people on CC have posted that it is easier to get in as a 10th grader than a 9th grader. So if she reapplies I believe it will show great commitment.
Each Andover class has an admission officer responsible for their class and/or gender. If you could determine who was shepherding your daughter’s class, they might be able to help you learn if there is anything else you could do to strengthen her candidacy for next year.
Thanks for being a great mom and raising a person with so much character. One of my favorite professional basketball players-- Steph Curry–was not actively recruited to Virginia Tech–where his father had attended college. He is fairly short by basketball standards, but has changed the way the game is played. I am sure the Virginia Tech coach has second guessed his decision :-). So, point being, your daughter can do well in life–as you know- regardless of the circumstance.
“Males have about a 50% greater chance of admissions at the elite coed LACs than girls.”
I do agree that its tougher for girls in the college process but want to point out that at most of the top LACs the difference in acceptance rates between the genders is more in the range 1-3 percentage points. There are a few outliers, Vassar being one of them where in the 2014-15 admission cycle 33% of males were accepted vs. 19% of females.
Hi, all…and thank you so much for your kind words, your thoughtful advice, and your feedback on our situation,
We are going to have her remain on the wait list (again, she is probably more likely to win the lottery, but there’s no disadvantage that I can see). She will reapply next year for 10th grade and as a boarder. We don’t live in a town contiguous to Andover so she cannot apply as a day student.
Andover does not offer her sport. It’s such a small world that I’d prefer to remain a bit anonymous, but think sailing or Alpine skiing. Few schools offer what she does, and she isn’t a fit for those few in terms of school size or location. She was willing to put her passion for the sport to the side in order to attend Andover, knowing this would mean that she could indulge on vacations or in the summer. So the sport issue is a sticky one. I’m thinking she might have to take up diving this summer, or squash :).
Ugh. I’m resigned to starting over again for the next cycle. It’s like the five stages of grief…
@MoreJavaPls , diving would be a HUGE --if you are serious. The Andover swim/diving team doesn’t typically have many diving recruits. It could make a substantive difference next recruiting cycle if she reaches out to the coaches. If she is already a competent tennis player, then taking up squash would be awesome. I know a lot of squash players in high school that garnered spots on the varsity colleges CC members tend to drool over. Best of luck.
@MoreJavaPls I’m so sorry. What a frustrating position to be in and good luck to your daughter next year. Handling the waitlist so stoically and applying again is impressive. I did know one student who applied- got WL- reapplied the next year and got in…however, perhaps you should suggest she apply to an assortment of schools just in case. (a likely?) Even if she doesn’t want to go elsewhere, it might take the sting out of rejection. I certainly hope she doesn’t get one, but there is always the chance and that would be really hard.
I’m confused about how you can’t think of any ways your child can become a better candidate. How is that possible? The student could re-write and expand upon a school paper and submit it to a student oriented journal. The student could submit poetry or short stories or art work to a juried show, journal, etc. The student could start a research project, work in a lab at a local university (even if only doing menial tasks but observing what happens there), compete in tournaments in areas the student is most competent (say AMC, etc). Students at that school are supposed to be on top of their game, so to speak. So if your child belongs there, presumably she can demonstrate her outstanding scholarship in many different ways. There may be only 50 ways to leave your lover but there are tons more ways to show you have extraordinary skills, if you do.
If she’s a gymnast (based on the diving reference) then she may make a phenomenal diver. Boston Area Diving is one of the only teams around I believe. The tough thing with diving is that all six dives equal just one event and one scoring opportunity whereas swimmers seem can contribute to four events – two individual events and two relays.
How is it harder for girls than boys if a student body is 50/50? Now with equivalent numbers of sports teams there is even less disparity in equivalent hook opportunities. (We know numerous girls that are early commits to college for two sports. They aren’t even that great but the schools are so desperate for girls the bar is much lower. )