Hi, all, and I’ve been lurking all spring on the M10 rollercoaster.
My husband is a HADES alum. Last year our DS applied to his alma mater and was offered a spot. We were floored–this is a bright kid but very quirky. He is there and loving every minute of it.
This year my DD applied to the same school. She is in many ways the perfect candidate for boarding school–great grades, very driven, competitive athlete (in a sport offered by very few schools, including dream school), very solid if not stellar SSAT scores (88 percentile). Frankly, we thought that if DS was offered a spot, she was a very likely candidate. Also, as a legacy and a sibling, we thought her chances were very good.
She got waitlisted.
This is torture! She is in agony not because she wasn’t offered a spot, but because this school is a serious focus of our lives: games, reunions, one child there, close to our home.
What to do? How can I console her? I am looking for commiseration, I guess. And anything I can do to move her off the list besides writing a nice note and crossing my fingers?
Has she applied to other schools? Does she have at least one acceptance? Agree that hoping and waiting to be pulled up from WL is torture. Try not to corner yourself into that position. It sounds like at Andover, legacy applicants have a serious leg up, but still, as I said in another thread, legacy applicants are likely more self selecting and more qualified than the general pool, so your daughter is not alone as a disappointed legacy applicant. They cannot accept all of you. Just goes to show you and many of your classmates are successful parents with smart kids. With your support and her smarts, she will thrive anywhere she ends up this fall!
Sorry, yes. Andover. And she ONLY wanted Andover…so all eggs in the one basket. We actually have a solid local HS but she has been Andover focused since forever. This probably sounds ridiculous since the school is so difficult statistically, but for her it was Andover or nothing. We can try again next year. But we had NO indication that she wasn’t a very good candidate: amazing, even gushing interview. Terrific recs. And no call or heads up about her application, which we understood to be common practice.
I know I’m whining about a problem that isn’t a big problem. I just feel bad for her. She feels like she let her dad down (he isn’t driving that, she is), and that visiting her brother and watching his games is torture. And we have heard from many, many fellow PA alums whose kids were accepted…none rejected or waitlisted that we know of. Maybe they are hiding in the shadows and licking their wounds.
I don’t think Andover has gone to the wait list in more than 5 years. I can offer that my DS1 was waitlisted when he applied in 8th grade, reapplied the next year and was admitted. If our DD has her heart set on Andover I’d recommend a very critical review of your application and look for ways to strengthen it for next year. I would recommend against holding out hope of getting in off the WL.
At least one of your kids is attending. Sometimes I think the school try to please as many of their alums as possible by prioritizing those who don’t have had a kid attended yet…
We are not actually thinking that she will get a spot off the wait list. We know that the chances are less than slim, and that this was really a bubble-wrapped rejection. We’ve gone over her application and with the exception of her SSAT score, which isn’t up to their average, there’s not much that could change for the better in a year Unless she suddenly “develops a passion” for an obscure instrument or starts raising llamas in the backyard (JK.), her application will look pretty much the same in a year.
Again, I’m aware that DD won’t be scarred for life, and that this may end up having a silver lining somehow, but it sure is making weekends and school events tough to swallow.
I think the fact that you are pessimistic about chances of daughter getting off waitlist should be informative to non-legacy applicants who are on waiting lists.
@SevenDad In this respect, BS may be different than college. More girls have the maturity than boys to be ready for BS so there may be more of girls in the applicant pool.
This doesn’t have a broad impact for the whole applicant pool but for nyc applicants I know there are many all boys schools that end in 8th (or 9th for a small part of the class) while there are almost no all girls schools that end in 8th. Does anyone know if this affects the competition for spots for nyc boys?
I think schools are trying to achieve an overall gender balance and not necessarily gender balance from every area. Nonetheless, an over representation of applicants sharing common characteristics (eg from private schools, same area, similar family background…) would mean more competition amongst themselves.
These are a few insights I gathered from the Andover revisit yesterday:
the AO staff keeps stressing they only admit “nice” kids. That is one thing in common within the whole admitted student body. I gather this piece of data they get from the references. So I would suggest that you have your reference send in a note reinforcing that point.
Also are you applying as a day student? Since their day student population is 25% of the student body and is limited to about 10 towns around Andover, the day student admit rate is much higher than the blended rate.
I met plenty of families that had multiple siblings at Andover. I think you are entitled to have an honest discussion with your AO. Their last revisit is on Monday, and mid-week next time would a good time to reach out.
How about using the coach of your DDs sport as an advocate. I saw plenty of coaches working the crowd yesterday. Trying to convince the families that Andover was the place.
It sucks for your daughter and I think it kind of sucks that you didn’t get a head’s up or at least a call after the waitlist notice since your family is so obviously tied to the school. Obviously no one is owed a spot but I think there are certain families that are owed slightly more than a standard waitlist or denial notification. Agree with VanOsch that you should have an honest discussion with the AO and get some feedback.
