I am so angry right now at housing at my child’s school. She moved in last week. Every person I’ve ever known has suggested that the first thing kids can do when they move in is keep the door open. The floor will be bustling and you will easily meet people as they walk by your open door or as you walk by theirs. That’s how I made my best friends in school.
The night they moved in they had their first floor meeting and they were told they absolutely are not allowed to leave their door open at any time. It’s awful. The floor is dead. Nobody sees anyone. My son recommended she try leaving the door open anyway but she says it would do no good because nobody else does and she would just get in trouble. I am so angry and sad for my daughter.
What is their reasoning? Safety? Theft problem?
I understand keeping the door closed when nobody is in the room, but it does not make any sense to me that they are required to keep their door closed while inside the room. I would have her ask why.
They say it’s fire code I guess. I understand telling them that doors need to be closed and locked when no one is in the room. But they have been told they are to be closed at all times even when they are there.
@twogirls we were typing at the same time and I totally agree. I am SO angry!
Is this at The Ohio State University? Nice school otherwise.
I have never heard of anything like this before. There is a fire code that says doors must always be closed? If this bothers your daughter, I would have her ask students in the other dorms if they are required to do this too. She can also hang out in the common area.
No. It’s not Ohio State. My daughter visited my son at Ohio State several times. He had an awesome dorm experience. The halls were active and everybody was so friendly, room hopping and greeting others. This made her so excited for her dorm experience. Now she’s sad, lonely and hates her school. It’s gut wrenching to me especially after my son had such an awesome situation.
Is there is a common area in the dorm where she can meet other students?
There is a common area but nobody is ever there. They are holed up in their rooms. She has gone out a few times with her room mate and has had fun but overall she hates her living situation (likes her room mate fine). It’s making her hate everything else. It makes no sense to me at all.
The only thing you can do is start a petition and if you can use social media. You got to get your voices heard, and if enough people have the same belief then the school may reverse their current policy. I find it a bit comical, but there may be a past incident that makes this college reluctant to leave the doors open within the dorm.
My son was just telling me that UF recommends it because of the air conditioner situation in certain halls. ??? He hangs out in the lounge with his Wii though (and his roommate is nice).
I know what you mean - in my dorm we mostly kept our doors open if we were ‘home’.
The new dorms at one of our instate schools have heavy doors that are suppose to stay closed and will not stay open on their own. Just came up in a meeting where a mom had just dropped off son. Was not like this for her D who is now senior at same school. It’s most likely firecode that new or refurbished dorms have to meet. Same thing happened at grandmothers retirement home - they were not suppose to prop open doors. We’re not even suppose to prop open doors (where there are doors) between different parts of building at our church - fire code.
It stinks for college kids (and old folks) since lots of interaction the first few weeks when I was in school involved seeing people through open door. I guess the school can turn a blind eye, but if it is fire code they just can tell students it’s ok no matter how many sign a petition.
Well, this is where either rules are made to be broken or you need another major tactic. (recommendations are not rules–forget the AC–keep the door open, friends are more important).
Don’t know how outgoing your D is but have her make signs for people to hang on their doors. Or at least hang it on hers – " We’re home! Please knock and make a friend We’d love to meet you!!" (or something similar).
Just go knock on those closed doors and see who is at home. Give them a sign to hang on their door. Take some popcorn or a brownie to pass around with you. Go visit.
Decorate the door big time so everyone knows where you are and who you are.
Put your pictures on the door. Put your names on the door so everyone knows who lives there. Make a big deal of it. Others will follow suit. Pretty soon everyone will know everyone. It works.
(As to fire codes–that makes no sense. Doors need only be closed during an actual fire.)
I would call ResLife and ask if this is a campus policy. Is this policy in place in all other dorms on campus? If it is a school-wide policy I would tell ResLife that the RA needs to be setting up additional floor activities to help compensate for this rule (perhaps going for dinner together, watching a show in the common room together etc,)
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Doors need only be closed during an actual fire
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That’s why it’s generally a good idea to close the door BEFORE the fire starts. It doesn’t do much good if you wait until after a fire starts, because the person in the room either won’t know or won’t have time to protect themselves.
To the OP: I don’t know why the dorm has that rule and have no opinion on whether it is good or bad, but I just want to say that as a parent you aren’t doing your daughter any favors by getting angry about a housing rule. In the greater scheme of things it is a trivial concern – mild annoyance is a legitimate reaction, but if your daughter is “sad, lonely and hates her school” because of this – then that is an outsized reaction, and as a parent you probably would do better to encourage your daughter to get out of her room and go places where she is likely to meet people. (College clubs, volunteering, etc.).
It doesn’t matter whether the rule is right or wrong – that happens to be the rule, and the rule itself is not preventing any student from meeting others and making friends. It just means that socializing will need to be initiated someplace other than the bedroom (a trend that might make life a lot easier for roommates who prefer having some privacy or quiet time).
The rule might be for fire codes, noise, theft, privacy, AC, wind tunnel effect from the windows. Doesn’t matter, it’s the rule. And like your daughter said, if they are the only ones with their doors open, it is not going to matter.
I like the idea of the signs, or asking the RA if they can plan something like all going to dinner together or a late night study break in the common room. It’s only been a few days, right? Cupcakes make friends, have your daughter get some from the store and put up signs about a study break @9 on Monday.
My daughter never had her door open. Her roommate didn’t want any boys in their room. My daughter had 100 friends by the first football game, including her best friend, a guy from the 12th floor(she lived on 6). She just talked to people in the hall, at meals, walking out the door to class. My other daughter live in a suite in more of an apartment style building with 4 apartments on each landing. She met the other suites, all guys, by introducing herself.
It may depend upon each city’s fire code. I’ve had kids with this rule in their dorms. For one of their schools, the fire code “closed door” rule was only for those dorms in which the doors opened into the hallway, but they could leave the doors open if the doors opened into the room.
Re: the floor’s common area - for each of my kids, it took a couple of weeks for students to start using the common area. I think they were all waiting for someone to use it first, and once someone did, the area tended to become very popular with the residents.
I love @twoinanddone’s cupcake idea! Cupcake party in the common area is a great idea.
I’m wondering if the person sharing the rule misunderstood it and translated it wrong. Sounds like a strange rule … if you’re in your room, prop open your door. Close it when you’re gone.
I just asked D about this situation. She said students rarely left their doors open in her freshman dorm. It’s a newer dorm and the doors are heavy and hard to prop open. She said she met a lot of hall mates moving in and during orientation and organized dorm activities. She and her roommate also knocked on doors and introduced themselves to their neighbors. Once she had an idea of who lived around her, she made a point of saying hello in passing. A casual hello became a short conversation and things built from there. She also suggested reading in the common area even if no one else is there. Students passing by may strike up a conversation.