I have called housing anonymously a few times and gotten answers my questions. Something like this - Hi just wondering what the policy is for open doors in dorm X. They have always been polite and answered my question. I once got the answer that the policy was determined by the individual RD for that dorm and not by housing, but that is not typical.
Sure, the dorm might make a difference. BUT this OP’s daughter is having the same freshman experience as ALL of the others residing in her dorm. It’s not like she is being treated differently than other freshmen.
There are so many ways to meet people in college. Join a club or two, go workout at the fitness center, sit in the study lounge…others might just join you.
Talk to the RA about some floor or dorm events.
If a door closing policy would upset you, there is a long way to go in the next 4 years. My best friends met at dorm do not even live on my floor.
No matter how shy you are you can always put signs on your own door even if you don’t want to go knock on other doors. People will know your names and will follow suit to put names on their own doors.
If OPs D was really shy she wouldn’t be upset. She’d just hide in her room anyway.
Guess I just look at knocking on doors the same as I did as a kid. “Can you come out to play?”
@MurhpyBrown, the student could just as easily call anonymously. By doing so, she gets the answer immediately, gets practice with being assertive and advocating for herself, and no RA is teed off.
Seriously doubt it.
Heck, tell me the college and dorm name and I"LL call. 
This isn’t that big of a deal. It’s making a mountain out of a molehill.
The people that are going to be your long-term friends are the ones that share your interests, not people randomly thrown together. Join clubs. Get out there. Dorm rooms should be for sleeping not spending all your time in, anyway.
Moving away, new life, new experiences is a huge adjustment no matter what. DS’s school has numerous dorms to pick from. He was adamant on not wanting the traditional dorm. He is in a 4 person suite, so immediate connection w/ 4 other people. It certainly helped w/ making friends, but the school offers numerous opportunities for kids to get out of their dorms and meet people.
OP’s daugther isn’t happy, “thinking” it would be better w/ an open door policy, but she doesn’t know that. IF she had gotten that, maybe she would be realizing how much she liked it in theory, but not in practice.
I do think she needs to deal w/ the cards she was dealt. Once school gets going, there are classmates and clubs and social events, and study groups, or there should be. I think once she lets go of what she thought life would be and starts working w/ what she has, she will be a lot happier. Adjustments, they all face them and ultimately find their way in their new world.
I really sort of think that a big part of the problem here is that the OP is projecting her very particular and happy experience as The Best Way to Have a Happy College Experience. When in actuality, thousands, maybe millions, of former students have had less than optimal freshman years, even with Open Doors. And thousands, or millions, have had good experiences totally NOT dependent on Open Doors.
So to shape the story as Open Doors = Good Experience, Not Open = Bad, is a false framing, and is setting the D up to feel defeated from the start.
The OP’s experience should be viewed as an artifact, not a roadmap. I really do believe that it sounds like this framing is a good part of the problem.
OP–I’m glad you are still friends with your freshmen hallmates. That’s wonderful. But it’s not standard, probably not even very common. Help your D reshape her expectations to a less restricted, and less unrealistic, viewpoint.
As I said before, this is not the School Where No One Makes Friends. Posters projecting a dorm full of sad young women sitting alone in their rooms are not helping.
Study or hang out in the lounge. If anyone was going to be friendly if she had her door open, they will also be friendly in the lounge.
Also keep in mind that the kids are all texting each other now. Having their cell phone number may be far more important than whether the door is open.
I’ve read this whole thread and I’m scratching my head at all the shade being thrown the OP’s way. An open-door policy does make a material difference in the dorm experience and nearly all the solutions being suggested seem to attest to that fact. I don’t blame the OP at all for wishing the same good experience she had in college for her child. We all do. What I REALLY don’t understand is the resistance to making a simple phone call. Is that considered some kind of super-activist thing to do? Maybe, if enough people made phone calls, the rule would be changed. Who knows? It would be nice just to have the facts. Until I read this thread I had no idea such rules existed.
Because it is helicoptering. If the mom wants to make a call to the housing department verify that the rule exists and to find out the rationale behind it… that’s one thing. But if the mom wants to call and argue or protest, then she is overstepping boundaries.
If this is a fire code requirement, then there is nothing that can be done about it.
I’m not one to flagrantly break rules, but this sounds like a rule one could break without getting in a lot of trouble. Maybe just wedge the door open a little bit and see what happens. If something is said about it, you were expecting a friend and listening to music and were afraid you wouldn’t hear them, and then don’t do it again. If not, there is a partial solution.
Does this campus have more than one dorm? Find out what the rules are on other floors and in other dorms. If this is a problem of a dictatorial RA, complain to the housing department. If that doesn’t solve the problem, perhaps people on the floor should go to housing and demand to move to other floors (I think that let’s them know you’re serious).
I can understand the OP’s irritation, but this isn’t the end of the world. Her daughter will meet people and make friends. Meanwhile, just wedge the door open just a little to see what happens.
I’m with @doschicos : I’m willing to make the phone call myself, just to satisfy my curiosity. :-c
“How to Talk to Anyone” by Leil Lowndes is a great book.
I bought it for myself and gave a copy to my kids also.
It’s a series of great tips on how to meet people and start a conversation. Perfect for anyone who never quite knows how to break the ice with someone at a party or other social/business function.
Great for learning to network as well as make friends.
There are a lot of tips–just pick two or three at first and try them out. Great confidence booster.
I tried out my chosen tips at the pool at a club once just to test the book. Nothing to lose I figured.
My husband afterward asked me where I knew the person from. “Never met them before!”
It really worked!
Sounds like the local fire marshall is pressing school to enforce fire-safety code regulations. Yes, technically all those doors are supposed to be closed, with door closer mechanisms at top of door/doorframe, not propped open. If there was a dorm fire, all the parents here would be tut-tutting about “code violations”. No win.