<p>So, I found out that I actually like one of the colleges I applied to and might want to go there. However, my "friend" wants me to go there b/c she is as well. My 'friend' just started talking to me recently, and has been tagging along on things that I do- I was friendly to her at first, but now I really find her annoying. She really wanted to go to this college, and I might want to as well. However, she is has an annoying and slightly mean/backstabbing personality. I don't want to be friends with her or have any connection with her, especially after high school. She really wants me to go to this college, and I know if I do she'll stalk me and want to talk to me often. I really just don't want to deal with her anymore. I don't feel like an annoying person should factor in to my college decision, but it is- she is a major con. </p>
<p>What can I do? I don't want to be mean or tell her outright. However, I really just don't want to hang out with her/talk to her very much. She really hopes I go there. I want to start a new life after HS, and don't want her to be a part of it. </p>
<p>If you get involved in your studies/activities/etc, then you won’t have much time to hang out with her anyway. Just keep telling her you’re busy; she’ll get the hint.</p>
<p>Go to college where YOU want to go to college. And then have a backbone – tell her you are looking forward to leaving high school behind and developing new friend groups at college, and you hope she will understand if you want to branch out and not hang out much with people from high school. For heaven’s sake, don’t let one annoying person drive your college decision.</p>
<p>Thanks. It is a large university. I feel like she’d be angry if I told her that, but the way you put it is probably the nicest way to put it, so thanks for the idea. </p>
<p>She may also be angry if you go to another school just to avoid her. This will be a very small blemish in both of your lives, and both of you will probably barely remember it in a year. Don’t make a major decision based on something that will blow over in a couple of weeks. Just let the relationship fade away. You will both be very busy. It’s easy for people to drift apart if no effort is put into maintaining the friendship.</p>
<p>But if you don’t reciprocate, then it doesn’t matter. Don’t respond to her texts (or if you really can’t do that, then wait a day or two before you do), don’t answer her calls, say you’re busy if she wants to hang out (you very well may be busy). Don’t tell her where you live or what classes you’re taking or what activities you’re participating in. In a large school, how will she even know where you are if you don’t tell her? If you run into her, just make an excuse to leave (and if you really can’t do that because you don’t want to be mean, then do the whole hi, how are you chat and then say sorry, you’re late for such-and-such–or just say hi but never stop walking so that you don’t invite a conversation). You make it sound like she’s obsessed with you, but you have to realize how biased your perspective on the situation is. If you ignore her and don’t let her bother you, she’ll likely turn her attention on to someone else.</p>
<p>There will always be people that you don’t like or who annoy you everywhere you go. You have to learn how to deal with that instead of running away from it your entire life. What are you going to do if someone at your college is like this? Transfer? What if a coworker has this attitude? Are you going to change jobs?</p>
<p>People make decisions for all sorts of silly reasons, and if all things between the two schools are really equal, then sure, let this make your decision for you. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case, and if so, she shouldn’t have any say in a major decision in your life. Man up, and deal with it.</p>
<p>I would tell her honestly that you hope to make a change and develop new friend groups, but suggest the two of you meet for coffee every couple weeks if you think this is really going to hurt her feelings.</p>
<p>Think about it for a moment–would you really give a person you don’t like the power over you to make the decision as to where you will/will not go to college?</p>
<p>Go to the school you like. Tell her you are glad she is happy in her choice too (being nice is free).</p>
<p>Don’t discuss dorming with her at all- don’t discuss what dorms or what programs you are interested in, or not–with her. Apply to live where you want to live on campus. If there is a chance to make additional comments/requests on your housing application, specify that you do not want to live with anyone from your old town/high school because you want to make the most of the college experience of meeting new people. </p>
<p>I’d let it be… big university, different majors, different people surrounding you… As long as you’re open to meeting new people and putting yourself out there rather than stick to her (which you know… people love sticking to what they know) I wouldn’t even worry about her… As she (and you) meet new people, you’ll grow apart.</p>
<p>Don’t let anyone influence your college decisions… An extra suggestion: don’t be afraid to meet new people… everyone’s going to be new and looking for new friends… detach from what you know and meet awesome people ;)</p>