I was also taken back by the $600 shoes!
I would take cues from your son, and if he is happy that’s all that matters. If not, you will know soon enough.
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Should’ve written SPOILER ALERT and let us finish with the betting pool and venn diagrams before getting back to us! Glad you all had a good time! Any key lime pie left?
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She sounds like a dream to me! She clearly has social skills, because she has a friend she knows well enough to invite over. I’m with @garland that ds’s friend group sounds a little intimidating, though I might have chosen another word. 
I agree that a little heads up from your ds would’ve helped, but overall seems like it went well. God job!
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I have read this thread through my own eyes, as the parent of daughters. I see a young lady that felt comfortable enough with her boyfriend and self to come to his parent’s house and have the confidence to spend time alone to study for her exams and also get a little r&r plus meet his family.
She sounds introverted to me and jumped in when needed for helping with dinner, joining in on conversations and bright. All features I hope my young adults value in partner.
I imagine her boyfriend told her it would be a great place to study while he is out fishing, wanted her to meet his parents and that they are kind and easy.
As a wife that met my future husband’s family at a big catholic mass and christening (i am not religious) - I am glad they cut me some breaks :), as they were not thrilled we spent the night at a hotel prior to the event - i was the one that told them - as had no idea my boyfriend had told them we drove up that morning !!!
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The most important question is: what card games did you play?
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I think the fact that she shared that with you at dinner about meeting with your S’s friends is a trait of being social and confident enough to share the situation! Raise your hand if you are awkward in a situation where there are very confident, savvy, males hanging out together and you are the new person in the room - I’m raising BOTH my hands! I think that is so, so totally normal.
TBD where there relationship goes. But one thing I have learned with 3 kids and who they date or have a long term relationship with is….who they chose is often not who we picture them with. It doesn’t have to be an “opposites attract” situation. I probably pictured D1 with a sporty, kind but teddy bear like guy who was pretty outgoing. Her BF of 5+ Years is a math geek, slight in statue, but super kind, attentive, smart and likes many sports though isn’t going to be out playing tag football. But they really complement each other.
I’m glad you have a chance to visit with him again soon.
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@coffeeat3 I’m not even sure it’s all about male vs. female here. It can just be difficult for anybody that is more introverted to be thrown into a situation with others that are seen as more social, savvy, a different “socioeconomic” situation.
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Agree 100% ! I just happen to have a very driven introverted daughter and one very extroverted daughter, so I was looking at the situation through my eyes as a parent of an introvert and could see her making a similar first impression. Work commitments first - conversation later. Male or female - doesn’t matter.
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I agree and should not have specified males. Introverted doesn’t mean socially awkward! It just means I don’t “come alive” in every social situation - but it’s a choice not a roadblock
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A little!
Spades!
Final update!
I went in to ask if it would disturb them if I did some dinner prep before going to the brewery. Our condo is open concept. She was asleep on the sofa. I apologized, Ds said it was fine (maybe she is a heavy sleeper??), so we chatted while I chopped veggies. Ds had finished his assignment. Dh eventually came in from watching TV in bedroom we use as an office. I mean, we had both retreated to allow them study space. When she woke up she said, “I guess I took more than a ten minute nap.” She had napped an hour and a half on our sofa.
Brewery was fun. Played giant Jenga. When we came home my ds was very purposeful in asking what he could do to help. No offers of assistance from her. During dinner she said that she took medication for anxiety. We had been talking about roller coasters, fear of heights, things that make us anxious etc. It wasn’t an awkward disclosure. So, I do appreciate her honesty and transparency. She’s not trying to be someone she is not in front of us. The fact that she shared that and slept on my sofa for an hour and a half makes me feel like we made her feel safe. I hope so.
The $600 shoes belonged to one of the female friends, BTW.
She thanked me for letting her come and said, “Thanks for all the food.” Kind of an unusual compliment. I just said, “Well, that’s what we mamas do - we feed folks when they come visit.” She just doesn’t have the background to know what to say/do, I don’t think. Never said one complimentary thing about our home or that it was nice meeting us. She just has a different background and doesn’t know what to say/do.
I’m going to work REALLY hard at showing grace. She reminds me a lot of one of my very best friends who grew up with little, had some family of origin struggles, is hugely introverted and who takes medication for anxiety. Yet, she is one of the most giving, insightful, and fun friends of mine. I adore this friend. No idea if this girl is the one (and they are about to have a big test being so far apart and in grad school full time), but my ds is smart, and I think he will choose wisely. My nitpicking only undermines his judgment - and I think he has good judgment.
Thanks for hanging in there with me this past weekend!
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Great update! Sounds like she definitely felt welcomed and safe. That’s the best compliment of them all!
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And you made it through one of those parenting/child rite of passages!!! 
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That’s what my teenage son says when I make him dinner - “Thanks for the food”. Not sure where he picked that phrase up, maybe TV? He was raised by a single introverted widowed mom (me). His much older siblings went to college when he was still in elementary school so he didn’t hear or participate in much adult conversation growing up.
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When I met my kids SOs (the first time I met them was when they stayed for the weekend) I let them guide the visit. I did my own thing, they did their own thing, we spent time together etc. I really felt that the entire experience was very natural. We had some board games that we played at night, my D’s BF cooked for us (his idea), they came and went at their leisure etc.
When the weekends ended I was happy that they were happy.
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Absolutely spot on advice!
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Mine still won’t 35 years later and it is still agony sometimes!
Nice! So much fun. I won’t ask who the teams were …
Dh and the girlfriend and Ds and myself.
Dh and the girlfriend won
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