another sunrise, another essay

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hey...you guys helped me out so much on my last essay, I thought I'd ask for help again.</p>

<p>I wrote about the influence of music on my life in the last one. My mom thinks that it's bad to write about music when I am going to major in English and maybe Government. She thinks that by focusing too much on something I'm not majoring in it will look like I'm not a serious person, or that I am unsure of what I really want. (advice on this greatly appreciated)</p>

<p>Anyway, I wrote this essay...it has to do with my love of words and the English language. It needs to be shorter... Hope you'll help me out, thanks a lot!
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<p>We have free time the last five minutes of class. </p>

<p>I'm copying the final word from the blackboard—“métier”—when my AP European History teacher walks over.</p>

<p>“You don’t have to copy those. They aren’t for class or anything,” he says kindly.</p>

<p>I grin.</p>

<p>“I know,” I say. “I just really liked those words. I was staring at them all period and I just had to have them.”</p>

<p>He gives me a wary smile and what I hope to be a pleased look, then heads back to his desk.</p>

<p>Classmates are looking over at me. I shoot them a quizzical glance and turn back to my new vocabulary. </p>

<p>That was sophomore year. But my love of words goes much further back, into the beginnings of my childhood. As young as three years old, I would write apology notes to people instead of bringing myself to say the humble “sorry” out loud. I understood even then the power that words on paper could be thought out and expressed in a way speech couldn’t.</p>

<p>To my delight, I found there were many more words to learn the older I got. Those words, I soon figured out, could be arranged in different ways to evoke different emotions. I saw how the word “furious” differed from the more vague “upset”. At one point in 3rd grade, I took it upon myself to compile a list of all the different ways one could say “he/she said”. I convinced myself it was for my writing needs, but I simply wanted to find as many words as I possibly could. My list went all the way from “stated” to “vociferated”. I still have that list. </p>

<p>I recognized the power words had over people, including authority figures. I vividly recall the day that my 4th grade English teacher called me to her during quiet reading time and pointed out, voice patronizing, that I had made up a word in one of my writing assignments. </p>

<p>“But that is a word,” I said—vociferated? —to her. She laughed. I insisted. “It is… ‘sidle’ is a word. You can look it up.”</p>

<p>She sent me back to my seat. When the bell for recess rang, she summoned me again to her desk. A blush spread across her cheeks as she admitted that “sidle” was, indeed, a word.</p>

<p>I got a gold sticker on my paper for that!</p>

<p>As I got older, I only built on my inherent respect for the English language, and developed an even greater curiosity about controlling words to produce a desired effect—to convey an underlying message.</p>

<p>I read incessantly throughout my childhood and still do, searching for new ways words can provoke, define, and push. I was entranced by the power of Luther’s 95 Theses, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations. I saw how these geniuses and others used their words to create a discussion that lasted throughout history. </p>

<p>I fervently want to do the same. So I read, and I write. The dream of writing something worth repeating has kept me awake until all hours of the night. I've filled more journals than my dresser drawers can hold. I have hundreds of loose-leaf papers with my 2 AM poems scribbled on them. I've got shelves full of folders stuffed with writings I've saved from years and years of English classes. I continue to look for new words and I am constantly learning how to tweak words to express exactly what I mean. It’s a process I never tire of. </p>

<p>And I have yet to find a better feeling than seeing a new word for the first time—and the thrill of imagining all the ways it will fit perfectly into my vocabulary for future use.</p>

2

<p>Your mom's advice is off target. Music is a great topic to write about for any major. Involvement in music demonstrates perserverence and committment. Also creative and mathematical ability.</p>

<p>I don't think it's a great idea to dwell much on childhood stuff in college essays, but it can work.</p>

3

<p>I liked the music essay much more, and I agree with Bettina that highlighting a passion is great, no matter what major you will eventually choose. Adcoms know that students change their minds frequently,and they want students who will contribute to the community through their talents and involvement. Do make sure that somewhere in your application, perhaps through teacher and GC recs and ECs your love of English politics is stressed. If that is the case, you can use your essay to expess your love of music.</p>

4

<p>You do like the music one more? Hmm....</p>

<p>is there anything I can do to improve this one? I feel like my love of words-- which is on par with my love of music-- is more non-traditional. They must get so many essays writing about music...at least one about the importance of words is different. Also, I don't have crazy outstanding achievement in music-- I was never in it for awards or grades or anything. But I do have achievement in English...it's more concrete.</p>

<p>I don't know...I'm torn!</p>

5

<p>The problem with writing an essay about the love of words is that it is too easy to sound like you recently took the SAT and are still in thrall to word lists. I agree with Bettina about avoiding stories about your early childhood. They sound less cute to adcoms than to one's parents.</p>

6

<p>right, that's why I avoided using big words unless referring to them in context.</p>

<p>I wrote about early childhood more than I meant to I guess...I wanted to progress through time, from age 3 to 3rd grade to 4th to 5th to now...but it looks like I only got to about 5th. I do start off with a 10th grade experience.</p>

<p>if I added in 9th grade and present example, would it be better? Thanks.</p>

7

<p>You can start with early childhood, but you need to fast forward to the present. The adcoms are not looking to admit a 3rd grader but someone who is college-ready. What have you done with your love of words? Written poetry and short stories? edited the school newspaper? participated in mock trial? done crossword puzzles? won a spelling bee competition?</p>

8

<p>I agree with Marite. Tell us about the HS kid that loves words, and what you've done with that passion in the last 3-4 years.</p>

9

<p>but i don't really want to shamelessly self promote...I will rewrite, take out some of the younger anecdotes and come back to you guys.</p>