Any Advice?

Paying for College
1

<p>My girlfriend is hoping to go to Pepperdine which, as many of you know, is a very expensive school. I’ll probably be going on a music scholarship, however, I’m worried that Pepperdine won’t offer her a decent financial aid package, and therefore she’ll have trouble paying for school; here’s why.</p>

<li><p>Her parents are exceptionally Catholic, and she isn’t (not that she is bad or anything; she doesn’t get into any sort of trouble, she just doesn’t agree with the solidarity principle of the Catholic Church nor does she accept the idea of a pope). Her brother is homeschooled. (no disabilities or anything of the sort)</p></li>
<li><p>Her father is upset because she wants to go to a west coast school, simply because he thinks that’s where failures and artsy freaks go.</p></li>
<li><p>Regardless of any of their personal dislikes of her, they said they’re only willing to pay 5,000-10,000 dollars a year, even though the FAFSA from they filled out said they should be able to pay 60,000 per year.</p></li>
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<p>Therefore, I’m worried she won’t qualify for need-based aid, even though her parents aren’t willing to pay for jack squat. I do know, however, that Pepperdine has an unusually high-in demographic and also quite a bit of money to divy amongst its students, which leads me to believe that she may get a decent package because I don’t think they are too wealthy. </p>

<p>I don’t mean to sound presumptious or overinvolved, I’d just hate to see my girlfriend pay the price for having negligent parents…</p>

<p>Any sort of advice would be very much appreciated.</p>

2

<p>
[quote]
I don't mean to sound presumptious or overinvolved, I'd just hate to see my girlfriend pay the price for having negligent parents...

[/quote]
</p>

<p>They are willing to contribute $5k to 10k per year, and you call that "neglect"? Be grateful for what she can get. Where does it say in the constitution that parents have an obligation to pay for a kids college education?</p>

3

<p>If the FAFSA says her family can contribute $60K/ year, then schools will expect them to pay full freight. Her best bet would be to find a school near home where she can maximize that $5-$10K. That would cover community college. That would also go a long way toward an instate if she lives at home. She might also be able to get a merit scholarship at a private near home, combine it with her parents' contribution and add in some work or loan $ to make it happen. </p>

<p>As far as Pepperdine, she could try to get a merit scholarship but if her parents are limiting their contribution to $5-$10K, she would need a full tuition scholarship to live away and those are hard to get. Other than that, she could join the military, work or try to get a job that has tuition remission.</p>

4

<p>To be honest, from your post...it sounds like you want your girlfriend to be with you at Pepperdine and you are worried THAT isn't going to happen.</p>

<p>Her family finances and college are just that...HER family finances and college...not yours. You'll just have to wait and see what her family decides is best for them.</p>

5

<p>So here’s the current situation. She and I were both admitted, which is great. I recieved academic and music scholarships, which will pay for the majority of my schooling. Unfortunately she wasn’t so lucky and only recieved 50,000 in student loans per year. She left a message for the financial aid office and I’m guessing they’ll probably return her call tomorrow. </p>

<p>How much will negotiating with the financial aid office do, and what can work study do for her? Additionally, since she is recieving little assistance from her parents in comparison to FAFSA expectations/Pepperdine’s cost, will it be worth it to claim independence? Will she be eligble for more aid next year?</p>

6

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<p>Well…she just can’t “claim” independence. If she is living with her parents she is NOT independent. AND it’s very unlikely she can become so for next year. </p>

<p>Her family EFC is MORE than the cost of attendance at Pepperdine. That is why she didn’t get anything but loans. Simply put…IF her family wanted to, from the FAFSA calculation, they have the resources to pay for her schooling. You said her EFC is about $60,000 a year…which means her family income likely exceeds $200,000 a year. She can call Pepperdine all she wants…it’s not likely that they are going to give her need based financial aid. The reality is she doesn’t QUALIFY for need based aid.</p>

<p>Unless her parents are willing to cosign a LOT of loans with her, it is unlikely she will be able to attend Pepperdine. Sorry, but there is no “tuition fairy” to pay her bills. Someone needs to pay them…and her parents are saying NO. That is their decision. </p>

<p>I hope she has some other options for college that her parents are on board with. And I hope you are encouraging her to deal with the realities of the situation instead of hoping for need based financial aid that likely is not going to be forthcoming.</p>

7

<p>Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to become independent before you’re 24 unless you’re a grad student. Here’s the 411 on it:</p>

<p>Regardless of how much support a student actually receives from his or her parents, he or she is still considered a DEPENDENT student for financial aid purposes UNLESS at least one of the following criteria is met: </p>

<p>For the 2008-09 school year, the student was born before January 1, 1985, and for the 2009-10 school year, the student was born before January 1, 1986; or </p>

<p>the student is married; or </p>

<p>the student has a child or children who receive more than half their support from the student; or </p>

<p>the student has dependents (other than a child or spouse) who receive more than half their support from the student, and who also live with the student; or </p>

<p>the student is enrolled as a graduate or professional student (pursuing a master’s degree or doctoral degree); or </p>

<p>the student is a qualified veteran of the U.S. military, or currently serving on active duty in the U.S. armed forces for purposes other than training; or </p>

<p>the student is an orphan (both parents deceased) or ward of the court, or was a ward of the court until age 18; or </p>

<p>the student has special and unusual extenuating circumstances that can be documented for his or her college financial aid administrators, who may then request a “dependency override” on the FAFSA application. (Note: Exceptions are granted very rarely and only in extreme cases.) Students should contact the financial aid office at the school they will be attending for additional information. </p>

<p>IMPORTANT:
Many students feel that they should be able to declare INDEPENDENT status because they live on their own, file their own taxes, or receive no support from their parents. Unfortunately, the Department of Education is extremely strict with regard to determining dependency status.</p>

8

<p>The only other options are schools that are not nearly as good where she won’t be nearly as happy and won’t nearly get the same level of education. Isn’t there some way to make this kind of situation work? I fail to see why someone should be the prisoner of their parents’ decisions when they’re considered adults, especially when the system is intended to prevent just that from happening.</p>

9

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<p>Oh please. Most students can make the most of ANY college if they really try. The only thing that will be missing is that she won’t be at the same school as her boyfriend. Sorry…but her parents are not holding her hostage. They are making a family decision.</p>

<p>The only way “out of this” might be for you to offer to pay her tuition to Pepperdine. Are you able or prepared to do so? If not, please support her in making a college decision that is separate from YOUR college decision or being with you. I’m sorry…but from your first post, this has all been about having you and the girlfriend at the same school. Clearly…that is not going to happen. The money isn’t there. She does NOT qualify for need based aid. Her family is not supportive of this decision. Please…let this dream go and help your girlfriend to do so as well. </p>

<p>The system (financial aid, I presume you mean) is to provide students WITH NEED financial aid to attend college. A family with an EFC of $60,000 a year does NOT have financial need. Sorry…they just don’t. I can’t think of any college in the country where their EFC would net them need based aid…NONE.</p>

10

<p>Actually, you and your GF can attend the same school. Find out what school she is going to attend (that her parents can afford) and you go there as well.</p>

11

<p>^ Thank you, Erin’s Dad! Rand, you’re looking at this from only your point of view. There’s a young woman and her family that deserve more consideration than this. Full pay at a school this expensive would not be an option, much less a choice, for most families. They have other commitments and responsibilities. They will make the best choice for their own family. You should do the same.</p>

12

<p>She doesn’t like her family. Her father has literally told her to stop studying before because “it’s a waste of time.” They do not know what is in her best interest because her idea of what is in her best interest is different from her parents’. They would prefer a much less prestigious school where she could’ve done half the work she did in high school and still gotten in. No offense to anyone here, at all, but I’m not looking for moral advice. I just want to know if there is any way to help her go to the school of her choice.</p>

13

<p>If a person disagress with their parents’ definition of how they should live their life, should they really be bound to their college decision? And just because the system says something, does that make it right, and if it isn’t right, is it really wrong for someone to help themselves out? Just because her definition of need does not fit the FAFSA formula’s, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have need personally. Quite frankly, because willingness to pay is left out of the equation, she would literally be better off if she lived in a lower income family. How could anyone justify such a judgmental, inhuman system?</p>

14

<p>And sadly, an education at a small, unheard of Catholic school will not likely yield the same results as a Pepperdine education. Hate to break it.</p>

15

<p>You’re misunderstanding. What’s in “her best interest” may not be in the best interest of the family. It’s a tough lesson, but he who pays the bills usually gets the final say. Parents do have to consider the whole picture when making these decisions - kids have to abide by that, unless they want to grow up overnight and pay the bills! Parent concerns include mortgages, retirement funds, other kids and family to support, etc. and these are some pretty tough economic times. Plenty of kids are not going to their top school, or even one of their top three, due to financial concerns. Some won’t be able to go at all. Life will go on and a mature kid will look at the choices she does have a find a way to make it work.</p>

16

<p>sk8rmom, I understand where you are coming from. But, given the choices she has she feels like Pepperdine is the best choice for her, especially from an academic and intellectual standpoint. I would just like to know some of the ways it can work from the money side of things.</p>

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<p>and yes thumper, I am considering paying some of her tuition as well if necessary.</p>

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<p>There is realistically no way to make this work short of hitting the lottery or inheriting money form a long lost relative. I’m sorry, but assuming her parents would pay $10K for her to go her, $35,000/year is still alot of money to find - if it were $10,000 that might be different. Reality is that she didn’t get merit aid, won’t get need based aid, and can’t possibly borrow that much without an insane cosignor and even then she shouldn’t do it! It may be the best choice academically but, if the numbers don’t work, game over. She’s not the first, and won’t be the last, to do undergrad work at a less than “perfect fit” school. She can, and will, rise above it.</p>

<p>You cannot fix this problem, nor is it your problem to fix. I know it’s very hard but please get to an understanding of this and let it go. She needs to be looking at other choices now and there are so many things out there. If you truly care for her, be supportive and help her through this time of disappointment as a true friend would. Welcome to the adult world.</p>

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<p>Have you considered getting married? If you do so before school start,perhaps the FA Office will consider you independent students and give you more FA. It’s worth a try!</p>

20

<p>
[QUOTE=randaddict10]

I fail to see why someone should be the prisoner of their parents’ decisions when they’re considered adults,

[/quote]
She’s not a “prisoner.” She is perfectly free to make whatever decision she chooses, and to assume the responsibilities associated with that decision. Translation: She chooses, she pays. In the real world (except in government and subprime mortgages ;)), if we can’t afford it, we don’t take it.</p>

<p>
[QUOTE=randaddict10]

If a person disagress with their parents’ definition of how they should live their life, should they really be bound to their college decision?

[/quote]
Sure, if “someone” expects the parents to pick up the tab for that college decision. You betcha.</p>

<p>

You’re not talking about “someone” helping “themselves.” You’re talking about your girlfriend getting “free” tuition, room, and board at a very expensive college. Only, see, it ain’t free. Somebody has to pay for it. There are real costs associated with her enrollment and attendance. Are you really railing at the injustice that Pepperdine hasn’t tapped complete strangers (aka, other students) to give your girlfriend a free ride out of their pockets?</p>

<p>
[QUOTE=LindaCarmichael]

Have you considered getting married? If you do so before school start,perhaps the FA Office will consider you independent students and give you more FA. It’s worth a try!

[/quote]
Nothing personal, but I think this would be a pretty lousy reason for two barely-legal kids to tie the knot… better to gain some maturity first.</p>