<p>Hi, Guys.
I'm currently a high school senior who is applying for University of Michigan. I did my first draft for the its supplemental essay. I hope someone will give me some suggestions, corrections, or even critiques about my draft. Thank you so much!</p>
<p>Here's UM's prompt:
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)</p>
<p>Here's my draft:
The year of 2012 is quite special and celebrated to me because Im going to be a college student this coming fall. As the first generation college student, Im so excited to experience the college life, and to expose myself to its tradition and history. Nowadays, the first generation college students, like me, have maken up certain population in the communities. Most of our parents immigrated from other countries, and they cant speak much English. This lack of proper guidance makes many people feel that we are unfortunate since it seems that we arent able to get any help from our parents. They also assume that we didnt know what to expect at a young age. However, this situation does bring some positive effects to me. Compared to native students, I have the opportunities to enjoy the luxury of understanding the important role of education at an earlier age. I also leaned how to manager time on my own, and developed greater passion for studying. It prepares me to overcome difficulties involving various areas in my future life as a more mature and tactful person.</p>