<p>Earthquakes are nothing compared to twisters and hurricanes and blizzards, but that's an old argument. California buildings are pretty much all retrofitted for earthquakes now. </p>
<p>So, which did she choose? She only has until tonight doesn't she?</p>
<p>To all fellow CCers, Thank you so much for your opinions and advice. As Alumother said, this has been a very civilized discussion and I really appreciate all of the thoughtful posts. </p>
<p>I do have to tell you that we had a wrench thrown into the decision making. When I got home from work, my wife told me that DD had finally made a decision and that she was taking a nap. I then checked my e-mail, and lo and behold there was an e-mail from the Financial Aid Office of one of the three schools, responding to a second appeal of a financial aid award that we had made (we are one of the "middle class squeeze" families that has been mentioned in another CC thread, and, yes, every financial aid dollar counts). The response was positive, and made that school comparable in terms of financial aid with the school that she had told my wife that she had decided on. I struggled with whether to tell DD about this new development, but I figured that I should tell her when she woke up.</p>
<p>When she woke up, I told her about the e-mail and she saw it as a sign that she should recondider her decision. After much conversation and wavering, DD said that she was keeping the decision that she had made, but that she was going upstairs to do her homework and would think about it some more (in other words, she reserved the right to change her mind). So, this is where we are now...... I anyone wants to give any advice at this point, I would appreciate it.</p>
<p>As I said in my OP, as a parent I need to have my supportive hat on, let her make her own decision, and help her process her thoughts by listening and asking questions - which is what I will continue to do as the night evolves. </p>
<p>Aedar, I really appreciate you joining this discussion and I am wondering if you and your DS came to a final decision?</p>
<p>If you can be comfortable forgoing the extra financial aid, then let her stick to her original choice. If it will make a significant difference, apply the Mini formula. How much enrichment would that extra money get your D? I'm thinking the choice is between comparable schools, so the extra money might make a significant difference in terms of having to work less hard to make up the shortfall, being able to afford summer internships instead of having to work, and so on.</p>
<p>Write two checks, one for each school (I am assuming you will be submitting on line, but there is something to be said for seeing the schools names in writing- so they can be fake checks), do simething "visual" </p>
<p>I know a mom who did that with indisisive son, and one day he handed her one envelope to mail</p>
<p>Or print out webpages with deposit info and tape to fridge, sounds silly, but sometimes the instinct will kick in and there will be an epiphany....</p>
<p>good luck!!!!</p>
<p>I dont know if this will help, but I have non preppy kids going to Yale who work very hard, enjoy discussing classes/languages/politics w/ entrymates... they are active in helping w/ aid for Africa, pitching in to cleanup New Haven, teach math in the local schools, working at the homeless shelter and have gone w/ groups to help in various other innercities including New Orleans & New York. They've loved prolonging class discussions on everything from literature to psychology to chemistry to int'l studies. They've friended & been befriended by kids from all walks of live and appreciate the lack of hs drama. They are loving Yale... have parties, go to the theatre/concerts (in New Haven, Yale, Boston & NYC) etc.
And as a parent (who would have preferred to keep the kids on the left coast) I've loved watching these kids blossom. I can't say if it's the residential colleges w/ their amazing Masters & Deans, the classes and the way the brilliant Profs often take an interest in their students, gently nudging & guiding or inviting them to do research or if it's the kids themselves learning from & enjoying each other & exploring the world together. </p>
<p>Your D cannot make a wrong choice so far as quality goes, I would encourage her to go w/ her gut; that's what worked best for my kids & their
friends... I hope you'll let us know the outcome.</p>
<p>DD finally made a decision and she decided to go to Harvard. She is very happy and this is what is most important to me. Arriving at a decision, though, was excruciatingly difficult. If anyone wants details, PM me.</p>
<p>I would like to again thank all CCers who participated in this thread and those who PMed me.</p>
<p>Since our son found the decision hard too, I definitely sympathize; congratulations to both of you on being done with the process and with a great outcome.</p>
<p>Amazing how great it feels & how the pressure just seems to evaporate once the decision is made! Congratulations! Really, IMHO, we parents on CC are so lucky (in the prepared to take advantage sense of luck) to have kids who want to go to college! Hurray! I'm sure you all will sleep well 2nite!</p>
<p>Congrats on being done. I'm sure she'll have a fine time at Harvard.</p>
<p>Congrats to your D, MSMDAD, on making her decision. Faced with the same array of choices last year, my D made the same choice as yours did, and she has not once felt even a twinge of regret -- not even in the dead of winter when talking to her friends at Stanford. I'm happy to confer via PM regarding any specifics of the experience thus far.</p>