<p>We’ve spent most of the day packing D’s stuff. She leaves on Sunday. Just had the talk with her (again), parties, drinking, condoms, guys, safety. She’s a sensible girl but it’s the not knowing who else she will come into contact with that’s scary. We’ve got skype on both computers now. She is going to enrol in the self defence class at college (mostly for my benefit I think). She’s the first of her friends to go and having a party here tomorrow - I’ll be sad not to see her friends anymore either. :(</p>
<p>I know I’m luckier than some in that she is only 2 hours away but I’m still feeling nervous and weepy.</p>
<p>This is so true! But is is so fun to catch up with them when they come over during breaks.<br>
There are also several parents that I will miss after spending years together at school events.</p>
<p>“… but I’m still feeling nervous and weepy.” - That’s pretty common, especially if you are at a compatible stage. l</p>
<p>It’s better than the parents that feel like calling the college and asking, “Could you please take this kid a few months early so I could have some peace?”</p>
<p>My D was a freshman two yrs ago. I was very distracted by the packing and the preparation and it didn’t hit me until several months later that she was off on a new adventure and this was not summer camp. I was not prepared for the worry. D has done well, with a few bumps in the road (difficult time finding a major), but I worry a lot and like summer and breaks when she is in her own bed in our house. Now she is leaving for her junior year in a week, and I am surprised at how fast the time went from freshman orientation to now; I miss her terribly, worry about her, and feel her ups and downs acutely. I wish I could be more of a parent on the sidelines, but I am not. </p>
<p>I like the message that reminded me of how parents’ weekend, Fall break, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are all set up and predictable, though!!</p>
<p>My S has seemed somewhat scattered this summer. Always on the go, not content to be home, misplacing things. There were several things posted on his college’s email that he should have taken care of but it wasn’t until I brought it to his attention that he did. In high school I never really needed to do that. So I worry about how he’s going to deal with the college life. </p>
<p>My husband was even a little weepy last night about S going to college, and that surprised me. It’s been an emotional summer.</p>
<p>Well D is now in college and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I think the lead up to it was probably worse. We both felt calmer on Saturday night when all the friends had been told their goodbyes and all the packing had been done.</p>
<p>The actual day itself was not as stressful as I’d imagined. There was no one to help us but between the 3 of us we managed OK. The only problem was I don’t feel we had left enough time to get her room sorted. There was a huge amount of time before we even got to the room sorting out keys, security photos, signing paperwork etc etc that I hadn’t allowed for. Once we were into her room the time seemed to fly before we were due to a meeting with staff and then dinner (provided by the college).</p>
<p>She walked us out to the car at 8.30 and although there were some tears, none of us broke down completely. Even in the car home I didn’t really cry much, although I felt completely drained and emotionally exhausted. Although I have to say I got to bed at midnight and woke up again at 3.30am :(</p>
<p>I received her first text telling me what she was up to before we even arrived home :)</p>
<p>Best of luck to those still to face this hurdle.</p>
<p>I had hidden a card and voucher for the Cold Stone Creamery so she can treat herself to some ice cream, which she found when she was getting ready for bed last night. She appreciated it a lot.</p>
<p>Wow Floridalady… a text already? That’s great. I bet I’m not the only jealous parent reading about that. Some of us have to chase our kids down for a weekly “heart beat call” (for reassurance that they are alive and well). </p>
<p>“I worry a lot and like summer and breaks when she is in her own bed in our house” - Amen to that. But… I have noted that college worries were often less stressful than the times DS was at home but out late with the car.</p>
<p>I am very jealous of the early text as the mother of a boy who was thrilled to be launched and pretty much disappeared first semester. Things improved markedly 2nd semester and we had a great summer with a mature young man who enjoyed time with family as well as friends. It is going to be harder to see him go this year than last, I suspect, because there is less of the busy and excitement and the sense that he may not be back for the whole summer ever again. </p>
<p>I was fine at launch last year…like others I was too tired and busy to really feel the impact. It came in waves during the first semester particularly when he was hard to contact. I worried a great deal about important school related emails being missed (he was terrible the summer before launch) so he gave me his password to his email as well as student accounts. He even friended me so that I could see by his activity that he was alive. I checked obsessively the first week or so, then eased off to once a week, and I haven’t checked them for months until it came time to pay tuition for the fall (we get no paper bills) and was thrilled to see a modest scholarship reducing tuition. Now I am nervous because when I congratulated him he said “huh? I haven’t checked my email all summer!”</p>
<p>My son left yesterday. Unfortunately I ended up in tears the way it played out. His dad and I have been divorced for many years, and the past 2 years, our relationship has beome very acrimonious (where previously, it was a very good one). I don’t know why…other than possibly his failure to pay support the last 2 years -maybe this is how he deals with the guilt - who knows, and it doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>Anyway, the plan was, my son’s dad was going to come over late last night, and pick up all of his dorm stuff that I’ve been packing up and labeling for weeks, and then drive our son to school (5 hr drive), and move him in this morning. After he’s in, his dad is turning around and coming home. I will be going up Thursday night, and staying nearby for a couple of nights, to bring whatever he forgot, and take home whatever he’s decided he doesn’t need, and get whatever else things he needs (we hadn’t bought any school supplies, we decided to wait until we got there).</p>
<p>Well, I called my son on my way home from work yesterday, and he was in the car, already on the way to school. His dad gave him about an hour’s notice, showed up around 4:30, and told him to get his stuff and let’s go. I couldn’t believe it. I’d never have done that to my ex, or my son. I came home to an empty house, with several things left that he forgot…arrrrgggghhh! I was so upset…but after a while I made myself shake it off. My boyfriend came about 30 minutes after I got home, and he was a big help. Still, here I sit at work, and I’m tearing up just thinking about it. Darn it. </p>
<p>On the bright side…in the middle of typing this post, my son just called me. He’s in the dorm, and SOOOO excited. He wanted to make sure when I was coming, so he can make sure he has time to get everything unpacked and get somewhat settled. :-)</p>
<p>VTMom, I read your note and really felt your angst. So not fair to have son disappear that way. I think the stress of seeing the shared child leave creates tension between exes that may have not really beeon the surface previously. Surely did with my ex too. We co parented reasonably successfully for many years, but starting sr high school year I could cheerfully commit a felony against him. </p>
<p>You’ll get to see him and say a proper goodbye soon…and be grateful S called. I’m afraid mine wont remember my phone number~!</p>
<p>Just dropping by to send encouraging thoughts to all you freshman moms (and dads). As we pack D for year two, I am not quite as teary as I was last year, if that helps any. Since D flew cross-country by herself last year for move-in, one thing I did was take that day and a few after off work (also a few days before the launch so we had lots of quality time together) so I could sit and sulk by myself (and not share the tears with co-workers) and be available 24/7 if she needed to call/text/etc. I wanted to be “there” for her even though I could not make the trip, and did find she contacted me a lot that first few days. I think it’s especially hard if you don’t get to physically go with your child. My D had traveled extensively by herself and was totally confident she could manage. Anyway, I feel for all of you and just wanted to say it gets better, somewhat. Sniff, sniff.</p>
<p>In the previous generation, we went away (most of us) and we survived. Without cell phones or skype, even. I was even encouraged not to create sky-high phone bills by calling long-distance too often. I’m pretty sure we kept in touch by snail mail!</p>
<p>There was an article recently about how our kids react to all our hovering and worrying. It makes them think they are helpless, and they never grow up and learn to stand on their own two feet. We think we are doing them a favor by helping them with all the details of life, but we are not. </p>
<p>Time to cut the apron strings and let them fly! :)</p>
<p>Because of this thread, I’ve been thinking about the difference between last year (when I was dropping off a new freshman) and this year (a returning sophomore). I still will miss him. But the worry portion is gone.</p>
<p>Last year I worried: will he make friends, will he be able to handle the work, will he be homesick, will he be unhappy, etc., etc. This year I have no such worries, and that makes it easier to see him go.</p>
<p>Ha ha, Hunt, I’m with you on the advanced worrying. I took my sophomore back yesterday and my senior goes tomorrow. Way more worried about the senior.</p>
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