<p>In high school, I was friends with a group of kids who were nice, but not really on the same level as me in terms of goals and ambitions. They got poor grades and smoked a lot of weed most of the time, which I didn't-- but I'd known them since grade school so it was kind of like my "group". I hung out with them while knowing that soon I was going to go off to college and would make new friends and wouldn't have to deal with these kids anymore.</p>
<p>And I definitely did - I have made a ridiculous amount of friends at college whom I love and cherish. We're really close, but we all live in different parts of the US, so it's hard for us to make visits. </p>
<p>So now I'm stuck at home for the summer, working two jobs and having nothing to do in my free time besides hang out with my family and work on my paintings. My old friends have either moved away or gone off the deep end (so drugged out they can't even do anything else - a couple are in rehab). It's kind of lonely, and I feel like an outsider in my own hometown.</p>
<p>Anyone have advice for what to do? Has anyone been in this situation?</p>
<p>I don’t have any advice for you, but I envision that I’ll be in a similar situation next year. It may be too late now, but a job at a summer camp would keep you busy. A job anywhere, for that matter, may quite literally “do the job.” Or volunteer work…anything to keep you from just sitting at home.</p>
<p>I’m working two jobs right now, but one of them is lifeguarding, which is a single shift - I have no coworkers to talk to and I’m not allowed to socialize with people while on-the-job. The other one is working for a website managed by a team of 40 year old persian guys. :/</p>
<p>Oh. =/ Perhaps you could catch up on some reading you’ve wanted to do, build a robot, look over stuff for next semester’s classes, or partake in any other antisocial activities. ^_^</p>
<p>I am in this situation right now. It is really hard. My closest friends stayed at school or just have really changed so much I don’t even know them anymore and I’m back home. The friends I made in college are not reachable because I don’t have a car to visit them and they don’t have a car to visit me lol. It sucks but I’m learning that I’m a little too hung up on people not having the same standards as me(mine are abnormally high I must say). I used to feel like if someone did drugs or drank illegally then I couldn’t hang out with them. But really it’s their life and it’s their choice, and it’s possible to be their friend while having completely different views on those types of things. I was told that when no one is sticking around you kind of have to look at yourself and see what you’re doing wrong instead of blaming others. I’m currently trying to be more accepting and less judging because no one is perfect. I hope this helps at least a little bit…</p>
<p>I dont think either of you read what she wrote carefully…</p>
<p>She is not judging people who drink or do drugs, her friends from home seem to have taken it to a very inappropriate and dangerous level.</p>
<p>And as mentioned, she already has two jobs. It’s not occupying her time with activity thats a problem, it’s social activity.</p>
<p>I don’t think I would have the same problem so I don’t have useful advice. I’m taking summer classes so Im living at school with a bunch of friends. I would just relax for the few months of summer you have. If you can’t stand it, plan a brief reunion with friends from school (like a vacation at a central location). Maybe spending the summer at school would have been a good idea for you as well.</p>
<p>You’ll be back at school, taking classes, waking up early, studying, etc. much sooner than you know.</p>
<p>I definitely agree with you - I was one of those kids in high school that was like “drinking is bad, drugs are bad, screw anyone who does them”. Now that I’m in college I’ve loosened up a bit around people like that and it’s made me a lot happier. </p>
<p>The thing is, lots of my former friends are in rehab or are really, really into hard narcotics - we’re talking like ecstasy and meth and coke. I do not want anything to do with people who do that kind of thing. They want to hang out with me, but they want to go to a club or a rave or something to do it - and I’m just not comfortable with that -_____-</p>
<p>If it is not the people that bother you but rather what they do in your presence, then perhaps invite them on a social outing where you know they won’t be doing drugs. (at least the ones not in rehab) Maybe a movie or a hike or a swim…something where they have to be conscious of what they’re doing. I live in a place where almost everyone drinks or does drugs, but I’ve managed to find a few kids who don’t. While they might not have my same interests, it’s cool to spend time with them. Maybe look around for some other kids. My friends are a few grades younger than I am…</p>
<p>I’ve never really belonged to a particular group of friends. I’ve had best friends, but they all moved away. We’re in the same boat in the sense that we both don’t have friends to hang out with during the summer. The difference is that you probably have a lot more friends in college. Personally, I’ve been just letting friends fall into my lap. I never considered finding friends of my own type until now. I’m thinking about volunteering at the animal shelter. Maybe you can join a group or work a job that includes your people.</p>
<p>This is really similar to my situation-- a lot of my friends stayed at school for summer classes, and I see the other ones every once in awhile, but the relationship has definitely changed past the point of hanging out together 24/7. We just don’t have much in common anymore besides our shared past experiences. I’ve been working basically all summer, and otherwise being rather alone. I don’t mind it, though.</p>
<p>Try and plan a cheap vacation with friends from school, visit relatives out of state espically those that are your age. I actually met a good amount of people from my hometown at my school. A good amount of my friends from home aren’t in school or dropped out and just chill and party all the time. The difference I guess is that I love hanging out with people who have a different perspective. My friends that aren’t in school seem to have things in better perspective than the people at my scho because they are more acquinted with the real world. I’ve met a lot of people by re connecting with hs people, people I actually didn’t hang with much in hs. Maybe try some rec sports, get a job with employees your age, take classes at a cc. I’m sure you have a few friends who aren’t really into drugs. Try chillin with their friends. Volunteer at a place young people do, try and get an internship, apply for. Summer americorps program, take an adventure sports course. If your friends are in rehab you can visit and hang out with them and help them out. Go to clubs or bars, maybe some concerts. Make a bucket list. Go hiking. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Join a chapter of a non profit. Volunteer for a political campaign, visit friends from school, get a gym membership, join a book club, enjoy some down time. Maybe facebook old hs peers and reconnect. People are more willing to hang with random people. Do some activism because a lot of young people get into that type of thing. Or you could just do drugs with your friends. You may want to go to aa or na meetings with your friends, people love to gran coffee after meetings and they’re all looking to meet people who aren’t into drugs. And your friends would probably appreciate the company. If things get super lame and your friends are staying for summer classes go back to school. Just get out and be really social, especially at bars. Go to a sports bar for the world cup, you’ll meet a lot of people your age. Appreciate the down time and pick up a hobby, take some classes at a community center and just do whatever you didn’t have time to do in school. Just go to places people your Age hang out. Having alone time is sometimes nice.</p>
<p>So far this summer I’ve mostly worked and hung out with some friends. I do feel a bit awkward. I want to be doing something more with my life but I don’t know what/how. What I’m doing now isn’t bad, but it seems a bit… meaningless. I’m basically earning a paycheck and spending my free time chilling with myself or with friends.</p>
<p>Ok, I decided to go do some volunteer work and make a bucket list. Maybe I will go visit my cousins that are my age down in Louisiana. I also signed up for an art class on the fly - I could use some portfolio pieces and this might be a fun way to meet people.</p>
<p>I feel a bit awkward because I haven’t even been able to find a job! I have one close friend who still lives in town. My others are hundreds or thousands of miles away! So I’ve been keeping myself busy by reading career books and getting started on new TV shows. It’s still awkward since I’m pretty much doing nothing and everyone around me is having a life, lol!</p>
<p>I can’t find a job either! Which is all I need to make everything else to be productive. I need some sort of structure in life and with only an internship that’s 2 days a week, I’m wasting away.</p>
<p>Most of my high school friends were just people to hang out with, and not really close friends. There are a couple that I still care for/want to hang out with this summer…but they are definitely the minority!</p>
<p>I am also working two jobs, and babysitting in my time off. </p>
<p>Just hang out with whatever friends you do have. If you live at least somewhat close to some of your friends from school, try and plan a time to get together with them. I’ve seen 3 of my friends from school so far this summer, and my main group of friends has plans for a camping trip towards the end of the summer along with some other things throughout the summer.</p>
<p>I’d love to have an internship! I just sent in an application for one that would last from mid June-mid August, so it would be great if I could have that! Then I wouldn’t feel bad at all about my summer.</p>
<p>See I’m in a different kind of predicament. I never really did drinking or anything in high school but I had friends that did. Then I went down to California and RAGED when I got to school. Now being back it’s kind of weird because being back home it’s hard not to feel like it isn’t really the same anymore. </p>
<p>I have a couple of friends who will always be homies and I always try to maintain “those” relationships, but now I’ve developed this almost elitist mentality I need to shake. A lot of people I was cool with back in high school ended up not really doing anything with their lives. And being back I feel like I judge them cuz its like all you guys do is drink and smoke and all that, but then I’m like well that’s a lot of what I did in college.</p>
<p>It’s weird, cuz I party at school, but partying at home sometimes feels lame. Am I making sense?</p>