Anyone NOT too happy about going home for the holidays?

<p>It feels weird being home!</p>

<p>I don't have the best relationship with my dad (he essentially cut me off when I moved out), so I planned to stay in my apartment over break. However, my mom pulled a guilt trip on me, so I'm going home for a few days. The thing is, if I'm at home, I can't work = no rent/tuition/books. This is incredibly frustrating.</p>

<p>It's just a couple of weeks. deal.</p>

<p>If your mom didn't "worry" about you, what kind of "mom" would she be?</p>

<p>being away from constant work, loud kids who always have something to laugh about who decide to walk side by side wherever they go thus blocking my path (CONSTANTLY), and cramped rooms is really hard - i'd rather go back!</p>

<p>then again my parents let me roam a lot so I don't really have any problems here</p>

<p>I'm going to miss being at school and coming and going whenever I please, but I'm still looking forward to spending time at home.</p>

<p>Well guess what, it’s 2013 and this is still a problem! I love my family very much, but there’s a reason I chose to go to college overseas…</p>

<p>Why not try a different approach?</p>

<p>Actively include your mom in some activities, and she is much more likely to give you slack on some others.</p>

<p>For example–ask your mom to go to a movie with you. Ask your mom to keep you company for a Hulu or Netflix marathon of some show you both like, or that you would like to introduce your mom to. Volunteer to go with your mom when she goes grocery shopping or runs some errands. Treat your mom to a manicure (at a salon, or at home).</p>

<p>Then, when you say to your mom that you want to go out with friends for a bit, she is much more likely not to have objections.</p>

<p>Some parents of DS’s high school (esp., female) classmates are like your parents. Very “protective.” Some even do not allow their D to go OOS for college.</p>

<p>When DS was in college, several of his female classmates could not stop complaining about their strict parents whenever the “parents-child” question was brought up. (Heck, it appears one of the parents of his current gf may be like this, and she used to attend a local college in her city.)</p>

<p>DS was on the other extreme. He liked to come home almost every break, even though it took a long time for him to fly home. While in college, except for the spring break in his senior year, he came home every break - for longer breaks like summer and winter breaks as well as for the shorter ones like thanksgiving and spring break.</p>

<p>Now he could come home only once a year, during Christmas. But I think this is probably good for him in his age, as he becomes more and more independent of us. (We hope he would not be too lonely at the school.)</p>

<p>

This may be for the “selfish” reason. Just a wild guess here: should DS’s gf be more “protected” by her parents, she may not have had all those “baggages” (some unfinished) since she was younger and there would likely be less drama and heartaches (at least for DS.) He would likely appreciate it.</p>

<p>If you want to be treated like an adult when you’re at home, act like one. Volunteer to do the dishes, take out the garbage, vacuum…unasked. Express appreciation to your parents for what they’ve done for you. Act like a guest in your own home. </p>

<p>Then, when you want to stay out later than a curfew, politely say “Mom, I’ve been living on my own for months now. I’ll give you a call at XX o’clock to let you know I’m ok and will let you know when I’ll be home. Don’t wait up. I love you.*” And then be very quiet coming back in. (Obviously, you also need to act like an adult and not do something stupid like drinking and driving.)</p>

<ul>
<li>This last is very important. Understand that they’re acting like this because they love you and they care about you. Help them make the transition to your own adulthood. (It’s good practice for when they get old. Trust me…)</li>
</ul>

<p>I always love coming home for breaks because I’m really close to my family and my neighborhood/city is a nice change to downtown LA. Plus, I’m still close to all of my friends from high school and other family friends so it’s nice to hang out with them after not seeing them for months.</p>

<p>But yeah, some people don’t have the best relationship with their parents. My roommate freshman year was always very annoyed with his parents when he’d talk to them on the phone and just went home for the minimum two weeks over winter break and came back right when the dorm opened. </p>

<p>But yeah, just try to talk to your mom and get across to her that after being at college for so long there’s nothing to do if you just sit at home. Or involve her in some activities as others have said - watch a movie or do some shopping or go eat somewhere. But yeah I mean just deal with it, it’s only a couple of weeks and you’re not going to be at home much anyway.</p>