<p>i've heard conflicting stories on this topic; many say its a bad idea and your friend and you will be torn apart and fight all the time, thus destroying your friendship. however, i've also heard that if they are a good enough friend, it should be no problem and it'll be a great experience.</p>
<p>I already requested a girl that I've known for 4 years. I'm really scared about being her roomate because I've learned so many more things about her. I'd really like to un-request her, but my mom won't let me. I'd love to hear what others say.</p>
<p>i roomed with someone ive known since elementary school, in a triple with another person
we fight alot yeah, but if youre good friends with the person it wont be bad</p>
<p>With a stranger most people realize its an economic arrangement. The college assigned you to room together and if you turn out to be friends (not uncommon) that's great, but if not as long as you treat each other with respect things will be fine.</p>
<p>With friends you are, well, friends. That creates some obligation to include them in things you do, the circle of people you meet, etc. If you grew up in one area you probably got type-cast somewhere around middle school and people still see you as that person even if you want to change. So if you decide to try new things or change parts of your personality your HS friend (and ties to other people back home) can be like anchors holding you back.</p>
<p>But more than that, most people don't know all that much about their HS friends. If they pick up stuff or just dump it on the floor, how late they stay up, how loud they play the TV & stereo, whether they'll borrow your stuff without asking, etc. Most people wouldn't walk into a room in their dorm and just help themselves, but for some reason they assume their friend they're rooming with is ok with that. Needless to say, this can lead to friction. Same with inviting people over to the room late at nite, kicking roomate out to have SO sleep over, etc.</p>
<p>I'm rooming with one of my high school friends and it's miserable...he's pretty antisocial by nature, though, so it depends on the person.</p>
<p>OKgirl what is your mother's reasoning? If there are things about this girl that would make living with her a problem you should explain them to mom and get her on your side on this one. If your mom has rational reasons why you shouldn't break your agreement with this girl then listen to them but if all she is worried about is hurt feelings or "how it would look" you may want to deselect the girl w/o your mother's blessing or knowledge. I don't reccommend that but I also think it's you frosh experience. And you do have to tell the girl that you have decided to go into the general roommate pool. Is you dad in the picture? maybe he can help your mom to see that the rooming situation may not be the best thing and you'd like to take you chances with a stranger</p>
<p>Another course of action is to call the girl, sit down in a coffee shop somewhere and discuss what it is that makes you have second thoughts. She may be relieved and be having them too in which case either of you can contact housing and say that you have changed your mind. </p>
<p>OP I am in total agreement with Mikemac but I would go a little further and say that I just don't think it is ever a good idea to room with a friend. I think living in the same dorm should be enough of a security blanket when you go off to college. Being in the same room doesn't give either of you the room to grow. Think of it this way...if your stranger roomate is getting on your nerves, you can still go hang with your friend in her room. BUT...if your friend is your roomate....where do you go to get away from her?</p>
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OKgirl what is your mother's reasoning?
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She says that I already signed up for her, so I should keep my promise. I think that she just loves the fact that the girl is very studious and would never do anything she wouldn't approve of. This girl requires so much help on school work. I've told my mom that and she said that I need to tell the girl that I will help after my HW is done. The girl also flipped out when she thought she got a B (fit of rage, crying, very angry, wrote nasty letter to teacher). She also told me that there are no guys allowed around our room, if I drink any she will kick me out of our dorm, and many things along those lines. Her mother also thinks that she should receive a room key (sorry but I don't want your mother having access to OUR room anytime and I def don't want her there when we aren't). She also isn't taking a car, so I will have to drive her around. She's 2% social and doesn't like any people I am friends with. She goes to bed at 9 pm and wakes up at 7 am EVERYDAY. She's very whiney and needy. I get sick watching her eat and she is very messy (I must admit that I am a little OC about being clean & organized) Just being around her or talking about her makes me feel a great amount of anxiety and right now I feel like I'm on the verge of a anxiety attack. I know that she will keep me from meeting new people and developing friendships. I feel bad saying this, but she really is stupid (doesn't know the difference between heat and air conditioning and tons of other common sense things)</p>
<p>I really cannot talk to the girl about this. She is very immature and would flip out and never talk to me again if I told her that I don't want to be her roomate. She doesn't understand the concept that if we live seperately, we can still visit each other anytime.</p>
<p>My father passed away and now she is the sole descison maker in my life. I really don't know how to convince my mom to let me unrequest her.</p>
<p>I'm sorry that you lost your dad. That must make things tougher. </p>
<p>you said that your mom was the sole decision maker in your life and sweety that just can't be true anymore. You have to be the decision maker. My thought is just do it...you don't need permission. But it feels like there is something else going on here. Did your mom encourage you to make the decision to room with her or was it something she cautioned you about? Have you shared all of the stuff you shared in the post with her? I don't think it is wise to contiue to let your mom be the sole decision maker. It's your turn and this seems to be the battleground on which to make a stand.</p>
<p>You also say that this girl is too immature to have this discussion with and she will flip out if you tell her you don't want to room with her and never want to speak with you again...there is your out. Get together with this girl to discuss the boundries and expectations of your rooming together. Tell her your concerns and try to negotiate a compromise. One of two things will likely happen. </p>
<p>1) you will have a good conversation, iron out some problems beforehand and have a tolerable experience next year
2) she'll wig out, become upset, you will look like the mature girl that you are and then with a clean conscience tell her that it wont work out. </p>
<p>If you won't take a stand now with this girl and your mother it will become harder and harder. That's just my observation on the situation . Good Luck</p>
<p>. And I think your mom and the girl will get over it.</p>
<p>DON'T DO IT! A friend's sister has struggled with her health and her roommate, a friend from hs, doesn't quite grasp that she can't just bounce back to perfect health, it's an ongoing process. The roomie also has a knack for stealing her (expensive on a college budget) yogurt and spoons.</p>
<p>Obviously, every situation is different, but rooming with a friend can blur boundary lines. Much better to start off fresh, set strict boundaries (times to be blaring music, not to take without asking, who to bring into the room), and then, maybe, become friends through respect of those initial requests. With already-friends, the lines get blurry and it's way harder to put your foot down.</p>
<p>Three words. Worst Idea Ever.</p>
<p>Explanation: It limits your meeting new people.</p>
<p>I think it really just depends. My best friend is rooming with one of our good friends and they get along pretty well even though they're both totally different. Then I have these two friends who have been best friends since third grade and they do everything together so its working out for them pretty nicely. </p>
<p>I was supposed to room with someone who I thought was a good friend from high school. But housing messed up, and gave me a single and gave her 4 other roomates haha. At first we were both disappointed but then after the first week I saw how fake she was and would drop anyone in a minute for her own good! SOOO I'm so glad that I didn't have to room with her.</p>