Anyone tentative about accepting Posse ED scholarship after selection & why?

Applying to College Early Decision / Early Action
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My student was selected as a Posse scholar after the finalist round recently and we were all initially very excited, as the school was fairly high on the list even before Posse nomination. The opportunity to study multiple majors, be in a college environment where the students are generally very happy, gain mentoring and additional guidance during undergrad from Posse, attend with a group from our area, and be in a vibrant city full of culture, music, and great food were all part of the lure.

Now that the reality has set in, there’s some tentative feelings surfacing such as having never visited the school (we will soon), the natural disasters that seem to plague the region (NOLA), the party school reputation (not a party student) and fear of poor fit as a result. It didn’t help that another student from a prior year’s Posse never clicked with her Posse and never found her tribe at the college even after 3.5 years. A parent of that student also expressed a heightened level of stress over the hurricanes over the years, stating we should have a plan A & B, which for her was a local relative. We have no local contacts to help our child, and all this information is causing all of us to wonder what we’ve gotten ourselves into and how to work through the anxiety we’re experiencing.

Please know that we are all grateful for the scholarship opportunity, especially as a private school wouldn’t have been within reach, and very proud of our student’s accomplishment to get this far. We are all just dealing with the reality and fears over the what ifs and they saids…

Anyone else out there experience tentative thoughts/feelings about accepting the Posse ED scholarship? How did you work through those thoughts/feelings? Anyone decide to pass on it even after selection? What did you do and were there any regrets?

I told my student today that if the excitement is at a seven or below even after visiting that it’s probably an indication that it might not be the best fit school. The problem is that since this is an ED program which has selected all scholars, it becomes more problematic to be at this crossroad right now. Yet, I do believe that it’s better to experience this tentativeness now than later, after the organization has invested time and energy. What insights and advice do you have for me? I’m taking a deep breath now to be able to think clearly…

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It also didn’t help that a tornado hit NOLA within days of scholarship offer, and admittedly we were ignorant about those even being a problem for the region. We’d only thought about the hurricanes briefly as the benefits seemed to outweigh the challenges at the time, but the reality is that the excitement outweighed consideration of the challenges more seriously, until now. We can admit our flawed approach and learning about the missed due diligence, after the fact.

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My S (graduated HS 2020) was not a Posse scholar but was in a similar situation regarding whether to go public or private, far or near. Private universities were 100% unaffordable and it was going to take an incredible amount of Financial Aid to make any private university a possibility. After acceptances and FinAid offers arrived, it turned out the best offers were from universities many states away.

All of your general concerns are valid and should be thought through carefully. I think the most important factor is your student. There are always potential unforeseen complications when going to college for the first time – and even more when moving far away from home and having to factor in travel time, travel costs, different climates, SES differences with the student body, etc. But the most important factor is how your student handles change and/or slightly challenging situations.

My son ended up an 8 hr drive from home. Many of his friends who went to in-state public universities visit home twice a month. Now a junior, my son generally comes home for winter break in December. That’s it. Once for the entire school year from August-May. I usually visit him once in the fall and once in the spring. I’m not sure remaining on campus for each entire semester would work for my next child in line, so she probably won’t go as far away. My third child seems like she might be happy with going “away” to college, so I’ll see how that process works out.

In the end, I’m glad my son went away. Personally, I think part of the entire college experience is, if possible, going further way and experiencing a different part of the country, different people. But you and your student have to go into this with as much foreknowledge as possible.

Generally, it works out fine most of the time. But it’s not unusual for a student to feel like they made the wrong choice. Some who feel like they made the wrong decision end up changing their minds and loving their destination. A few eventually transfer … which is not a bad thing if the student is truly unhappy long term. I told my son he would always be able to transfer back to an in-state public if it turned out the Out Of State private was not good for him – but if he went to an in-state public as a freshman he would never be able to transfer to the Out Of State privates that offered him the FinAid needed. He decided to start off at the Out-Of-State private and see how it felt.

About the “feeling like a 7” about the destination … my son did not feel a 10 about any of the schools that were in his final 5 list of Acceptance and Affordable. He was ready for college, but not super-thrilled about those 5 schools. Each had a reason (or reasonS) to make him not be thrilled. In the end most of his concern was created from either trepidation about going far away and/or general ignorance of how it would really be in that city on that campus. Now a junior, he’s very okay with being on his campus. Also, he says he now realizes he would have been absolutely fine on any of the other 4 campuses.

One last thing. Yeah there are hurricanes in Louisiana. And there are earthquakes in California. And blizzards in the northeast. And floods in other areas, and tornadoes in other areas, and on and on. I don’t think there is a state in country that doesn’t encounter some form of extreme weather or natural disaster risk.

Deep breaths. It will most likely work out fine.

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Is your student feeling this hesitation or is it you? If it is you who feels this way then your student may tend to agree with you wanting to reduce the stress you are feeling.

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My senior D goes to school in Nola (Tulane) and I completely understand your concerns about the weather, culture, etc. From our viewpoint however, these have been learning experiences for her. My D was in the “cone of concern” 6 times in the 2020 season and her rental home took on significant damage with Hurricane Ida that is still being repaired today. She is not a partier and very rarely drinks. But she loves the festival nature of the city. What she has learned is that the people of Nola are resilient and she has learned to also be able to adjust to tough situations. We had no family or connections prior to her going to school there and so she’s had to learn a lot of tough things on her own. But she’s thrived and is sad that she has only one semester left there. It’s not the place for everyone, so you are definitely asking the right questions. I will tell you that your concerns are often voiced by other parents on the Tulane FB page, so you are not alone. Feel free to DM on any questions about the Nola area.

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Thank you for the encouraging words and insights. Much appreciated.

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We all are… after hearing about the tornado hitting NOLA two days after the scholarship offer, and sitting in our ignorance of not knowing tornadoes hit the area. We’d only thought briefly about the hurricanes. Then, our anxieties rose higher after talking to the mom of the current senior, who said she’s stressed every year in the fall during hurricane season and for us to have two plans while not banking on the school. The mentioning of power going out during one of the hurricanes and trying to figure out where her D should head to as she lived off campus, since the school only deals with taking care of the students who live on campus. All those things created anxiety for us.

Our D really opened up about her concerns yesterday, sharing that she had watched a lot of TikTok videos of students’ experiences during hurricanes and seeing uncountable number of videos of students partying, concerned her about whether she’d fit in as she’s more of a calm ambivert.

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Thanks for sharing your D’s experiences. It helps to process what’s to come. Tulane is where our D has been offered a scholarship. I will DM you as we’ll be visiting next month and would like some recommendations.

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I’m new to CC and don’t see a way to DM you, If you are able to DM me, please do and I will respond with my inquiries, thanks.

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Whether your D fits at the college is a definite concern, and one you should carefully consider. But, while I’m sure you’re aware of this, I think it’s worth pointing out that each region has its own types of natural disasters. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, blizzards… your D won’t be able to escape the possibility of experiencing them. I guess if she’s more afraid of hurricanes/tornados than everything else, it should be a consideration. Otherwise, it’s just something to deal with if the situation arises.

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If you daughter does not go to Tulane where will she go? Your concerns about tornadoes rules out any school in the Midwest and South. Your concerns about hurricanes rules out any coastal areas from Texas to New York. No party schools rules out most state flagships and pretty much any residential college. Upstate New York is ruled out because of snow as evidenced in Buffalo this past week.

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My opinion…and it’s my opinion only. Tulane is a fabulous college. So is Loyola NOLA. Don’t know which school your kid got Posse at, but Posse is an opportunity that is very special. There are partiers at EVERY college, and they are the ones who tend to post online, in my opinion. No question, your daughter will be able to find her tribe in NOLA. Lots of wonderful things happening there that do not involve drinking and parties.

Re: the weather. There is crappy weather potential just about everywhere. Look what folks in the Midwest, and mid Atlantic states have been dealing with the last few days right around Christmas. My kid went to college 3000 miles away and experienced several earthquakes where she was…the college was very well prepared in terms of notifying students IF there was a concern.

I think you need to start looking at the cup as half full instead of half empty. Look at all the positives the Posse offers your student.

If all you do is look at negatives, there could be a self fulfilling prophecy happening…and that really isn’t a good thing.

Congratulations to your daughter on receiving the Posse! What a wonderful achievement.

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Am I clear that you are considering walking away from an ED acceptance for non financial reasons?

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I’ve been wondering the same, as OP, the D, and the HS GC signed a binding commitment. And there are multiple opportunities along the Posse process to get out before an acceptance.

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For lower-income families (which essentially describes all Posse families) some of the factors the OP mentioned have financial implications.

For example, a higher income family might choose to pay for a plane ticket to get their student out of an incoming hurricane. A lower-income family may not be able to afford a last-minute unexpected plane ticket. For a parent who might be a natural worrier, this may not be an easy factor to overcome without a lot of thought and thinking-out-loud in a public forum.

Further along that line, if the student were to suffer property losses directly related to a natural disaster, lower-income families might find it impossible to replace a drowned laptop, or a closet full of clothes.

And among the OP’s worries are probably possible medical emergencies. Even high SES parents sometimes worry about what-ifs when it comes to their children being far away. The worries can exponentiate (is that a word?) for families that can’t afford to quickly get to their children 700 miles away. I had to make an emergency visit to my son last year and I had to juggle a few factors (including cost) as I considered whether to go comfort my child or to say “can’t make it, deal with it on your own crybaby.”

:laughing: for us lower-income families, almost every away-at-college issue likely has a financial component. Sometimes it’s as big as go see the child or pay the bills on time - choose one.

I understand leaning on a parent possibly making light of the ED part of this, but I’m very okay with considering whether to bail on the ED in this situation. There are a lot of moving parts connected with making this particular decision and the family is already leaning toward feeling forced to accept it simply for financial issues. I don’t think it’s fair for the forum to try and make them feel guilty for what I consider to be legitimate concerns.

For the record, I personally think the OP hasn’t decided not to accept the decision yet. She’s just in the throes of making a very difficult family decision.

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@EconPop shouldn’t this applicant have know about the weather in NOLA before applying there?

The Posse is such an incredible opportunity. Again, I urge this applicant to also look at the positives, and not just the negatives.

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I don’t have personal experience with the Posse application procedure but I hear it is very time (and attention) consuming. Add in all the regular college applications things to do (not to mention day-to-day things) and it’s not surprising every single contingency was not closely examined before now.

Not to mention that for low-income families this process is not a sure thing. High SES families can immediately cross off schools for non-academic reasons because they know cost will never be a factor. Low SES families don’t have the luxury of being able to prematurely say schools are off the list for a reason that might be surmountable.

I agree. I also don’t think the OP is as close to pulling out, as some seem to think she is. For all the reasons I mentioned earlier, moving far away for college can be a much more difficult decision for some lower-income families than higher SES families. All the normal worries exist, then another 2X that amount. Now that the school’s decision is in, and the family has a real reason to sit back and consider all the factors associated with a REAL opportunity to attend this specific school, THIS is the time they have to deeply consider the ramifications.

I think they’ll work out their concerns.

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Not necessarily.

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Fine, let’s say “most”. And until notified otherwise, I’m assuming the OP is a lower-income family, compared to families not involved in the Posse process.

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THIS!

Just because this didn’t work out for a previous other student really has no bearing on your student. Go in with a positive attitude and plan to take advantage of everything Posse has to offer as well as what the college has to offer…and the community.

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