Anyone want to critique my commonapp essay?

<p>Feel free to edit/revise it as much as you want. I'm not that good of an essay writer so don't go easy on me haha</p>

<p>Pm it to me, i’ll give it a read.</p>

<p>okay i sent it to you</p>

<p>anyone else, im going to send it this weekend</p>

<p>PM your essay to me and i would evaluate</p>