Anyone willing to score my SAT practice essay?

<p>Prompt: Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</p>

<p>Individuals in a society should not only look up to the government to solve their problems, but also be partakers, and sometimes initiators, of the change they wish to put into effect. As Ghandi said, you must "be the change you wish to see in the world." The situation in a Black community in the nations capital serves as a prefect paradigm of the aforementioned truth.
A Black community in the downtown D.C. area was in dire need of change. It's streets and neighborhoods were plagued with drug dealers and criminals of all sorts. It's inhabitants dreamt of change: an answer to their problems. The government, presumed to be the "solution factory", was where they put their hopes.
Years later, things still did not change: progression seemed to want to avoid this community. When the people learned that the government would not do anything to alleviate their problem, they were left with no other choice but to be "self-sufficient" and try to change their community on their own.
James, a determined individual from the neighborhood, decided to take it upon himself to do what was required to bring his community out of the hole it was digging itself into. He started to cultivate the wilting patch of grass referred to as "the neighborhood lawn"; he started growing fruits a vegetables and taught the drug dealers and criminals to use their time productively instead of detrimentally. He taught the community how to care for one another by showing everyone how to be actively engaged in bringing about growth to their society. Change did not come easy, but it came, and when it did, the community blossomed and flourished to heights never imagined by anyone. James' determination helped turn the community's problems and despairs into successes and joy!
If the community opted to wait and see if the government would bring about change, who knows when change would have come? Every action makes a difference, and James' decision to take action saved the community from perils worse than those it has already seen. Every individual should do what they can to make their communities a better place, then, and only then, can any problem be ultimately solved.</p>

<p>@noel597‌ Could you give me a score for this?</p>

<p>Organization: 4
Thesis: 4
Supporting Details: 3
Diction: 3
Grammar: 4 </p>

<p>Overall: 4 but I could easily see readers grading you at a 6/12. </p>