Appeal Letter (HELP)

<p>To Whom It May Concern,
My transition into High School has been far from ordinary. Although my successes have been articulated through my achievements listed on my original UC application, I was not able to share how my educational opportunities have been stunted. Due to being involved in an unfortunate accident I did not know what limit I could push myself to without ending up with obvious repercussions. My parents and doctor encouraged me to not overextend myself during my four years at High school. Despite their advice, I did not want to settle for something less than my potential limits. I opted for a compromise, and due to this I did not take as many AP classes my sophomore and junior year as I expected myself to do. These extenuating circumstances prevented me from taking full advantage of all the classes and opportunities that were available to me throughout my High school career. Although I did challenge myself, I was not able to challenge myself to the fullest extent. I tried to avoid sympathy ridden paths, and in turn I applied myself in a curriculum where I could exceed expectations, slowly rebuild my confidence, and further my interests, but unfortunately that was not what I solely had in mind before being injured. </p>

<p>By being a first generation college attendee in the family, I have also been limited in the number of resources I have had in regard to the trials and tribulations expected of students wanting to go to top colleges. I feel that I would excel at UCLA because it satisfies everything I'm looking for in a college experience. A college that is too big to know everything about right next to a city that is too big to even begin realizing the breadth of opportunities available. Being well rounded has been both a blessing and a curse, but because UCLA has an undergraduate program that has a plethora of majors that I wish to explore, I would not feel stunted in the opportunities available to me, specifically as I did throughout High school.</p>

<p>So far this is what I have on my UCLA appeal letter. I plan on adding more, but the bulk of it is concentrated on the repercussions of my accident. Help with wording, fluidity, and grammar would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you know of anything that is worth adding, whether it be an idea or an actual constructed sentence, please let me know.</p>

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<p>This sentence is awkward. Did you not know your limits due to the accident, or was the accident caused by you not knowing your limits?</p>

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<p>This sentence is a fragment, and awkward as well. What does it mean? Are you trying to say that the college and city provide a vast amount of opportunities? There are better ways to say that, and the way that you have said it almost comes off as insulting, though I know you didn’t mean it that way.</p>

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<p>How is being well-rounded a curse? I’d think that UCLA wants to produce well-rounded students.</p>

<p>You might want to explain what the accident was. I can understand if you don’t want to post it here, but I don’t think you should leave the adcoms guessing about what happened.</p>

<p>Other than that, it looks pretty good! I hope you get into UCLA!</p>

<p>does ucla offer waitlisting this year?</p>