<p>Would someone like to read my appeal letter to the UC's, and give me some constructive criticism?</p>
<p>To whom it may concern, </p>
<pre><code>When I submitted my application in November last year, I believe I was not able to fully express myself adequately. Every applicant has a story, and here is mine.
I am a first generation immigrant from the (I shall keep this confidential), and my background has greatly influenced my outlook on life. When my family first immigrated to the United States, we didn’t have much. We relied heavily on the charity of our other family members to provide my family with employment and housing. My parents worked as caregivers for my aunt until her business shut down leaving my parents unemployed. During this time period we moved to many different houses due to our lack of financial stability. I moved to three different elementary schools from kindergarden to second grade. From this time period I became very isolated due to the lack of continuity in my life.
To this day, my parents do their best to provide for my family. My mother has been unemployed for nearly a decade, and my father has been employed as a mail carrier for a little over a decade. He makes enough to provide my family with the necessities such as food, housing, and small needs. Sometimes I wish my mother has an occupation, so we could live a more comfortable life. Receiving a quality education would give me an opportunity to surpass my parents’ positions, and it will also allow me set a standard to which my future family members would aspire.
I have long desired to attend one of the universities the University of California has to offer, for they are well respected institutions. I believe that I will greatly provide to the atmosphere of UC_, and that the strong academic performance of UC_ will motivate me to do my best. Attending the University of California, _____ will challenge me in the best ways possible.
I have leaned so much from my senior year of high school. Taking AP Economics made me realize that there are students out there who have an authentic desire to learn. The passion I get off my peers gets me to do my best at school. I envy their diligence, and I surround myself around them. My academic performance has improved this school year because of their positive atmosphere, and I believe that the positive atmosphere of the University of California, __ will help motivate me to do my best.
Aside from what I’ve learned in the classroom since the time I applied in the fall, I also gained leadership skills from running my club at school. This year, I restarted the photography club at my school. This club was not around in my junior year, so I decided to restart the club to educate photography to my fellow schoolmates. During club meetings my co-president and I would choose a topic of photography to lecture our club members. Our club in terms of education is like a classroom in which the presidents are the teachers, and the members are the students. I have solidified my understanding of responsibility because of my club. As president it is critical to stay up to date with the deadlines to which club presidents must abide, and with the weekly lectures I deliver.
I believe that I am a qualified applicant to the University of California, ___, because I my background has shaped me to be a well rounded individual. My academics have improved since I applied in the fall, and I have gained invaluable leadership skills from my club.
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