Are my parents being too strict on where I should go?

<p>I believe I asked Farmingdale if they deferred my application and said yes. Maybe Dowling as well but not so sure tell ya the truth if I did for the rest of them. Rutgers has Aerospace Engineering but I’m not too interested in designing airplanes. I’m more of a aviation management major. I want to work at airports or in the aviation industry on the business side. Rutgers does have a business school but I can’t get into the business school at New Brunswick Campus (Rutgers NB is the Rutgers campus I want to go to) because the NB campus doesn’t accept transfer business students. I’m more thinking of Montclair or William Paterson. I think they may be easier to get into than Rutgers.</p>

<p>Do not pay for a flight training program like the one at Florida Tech if you don’t want to be a pilot. A huge amount of the money goes to the costs of getting you in the air enough to qualify for your pilot’s license. You don’t need a license to get an introductory job in airport management and if you get that kind of job, they may pay for the flight lessons later.</p>

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<p>I’m not quite sure what this means, but it doesn’t sound like someone who’s ready for independent adulthood, to be honest. You sound a bit scattered and disorganized and frankly, if you were my child, I wouldn’t want you half a continent away either.</p>

<p>Check again at FDU. Call them and specifically ask about an aviation major. I believe that they do offer it, but it is fairly new.</p>

<p>I question the comment that most students go to college two hours or so away. Is that statistically true? I haven’t found that to be the case in an informal survey of my D’s friends- most of whom left the state. Maybe it’s more true of the East Coast? Regardless, I find it interesting that most responses have focused on the OPs maturity or possible lack thereof, the parent’s decision-making. I do know parents who didn’t want their children to attend school far away, not for their childrens’ sake, but for their own sake. I’m not saying that’s true in this case, but it might be one possibility.</p>

<p>I read a study that said something like 66 percent of students go to college less than 200 miles from home. I think that many forget that money matters and for most students the most financially reasonable options are closer to home.</p>

<p>If you lived in North Dakota, the two-hour rule would be unreasonable. In New Jersey, I think that leaves you with so many good options, you shouldn’t worry too much.</p>

<p>But the poster who said “money is power” has it right, in my opinion. If you can finance your own education, then you can get it wherever you want it. Otherwise, you may be kinda stuck. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Try to be glad your parents care enough to want you close.</p>

<p>“If you lived in North Dakota, the two-hour rule would be unreasonable. In New Jersey, I think that leaves you with so many good options, you shouldn’t worry too much.”</p>

<p>I agree with this 100%.</p>

<p>I live on Long Island, and I limited my kids to the northeast - Maine to Maryland, to western PA. We are blessed with a large number of choices in this part of the country, no matter what you might want to study.</p>

<p>When any of my kids have said “I am an adult, you can’t tell me what to do” in actual words or in behavior, I bring out a rental agreement and discuss paying room and board, and suggest they also pay all of their tuition. There is also the issue of medical and dental bills and insurance. They certainly can - but adulthood comes with responsibilities along with rights. The rights come after the responsibilities, not the reverse.</p>

<p>You have some good choices within the parameters your parents have given you.</p>

<p>Don’t most kids go to state universities in their home states? I think that’s true, even if it might be more than 200 miles across some states.</p>

<p>But OP, what you have here is a negotiation. You want something, and the person who has the power to give it to you isn’t persuaded. First, you have to consider the possibility that the other person might be right. That means not rejecting out of hand what she has to say. You need to listen and think it over. Ask her questions to clarify what her concerns and reasons are. Get into a discussion, not an argument. Then make your case, as persuasively as you can. Give facts. Consider compromises. I will tell you this: telling your mom that you’re 18 and should be able to make your own decisions will not help; showing her through mature behavior might help.</p>

<p>“The topic of distance from home is often discussed when students begin narrowing down colleges they want to apply to; however, there is a scarcity of research actually examining student behavior. The purpose of this study is to address this research gap using data based on a national sample of nearly one million students. Distance was computed in miles based on the zip code of the student’s home and the zip code of his/her college. The median distance students go away for college is 94 miles (25th percentile = 23 miles and 75th percentile = 230 miles). We also examined average distance from home by state, SAT score, high school GPA, parental income, parental education, ethnicity, and gender.”
[Student</a> Choice of College: How Far Do Students Go For An Education? | Journal of College Admission | Find Articles at BNET](<a href=“http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3955/is_200904/ai_n31666009/]Student”>http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3955/is_200904/ai_n31666009/)</p>

<p>you mentioned you applied to Daniel Webster in high school. Why not look there again?
They have a good flight management program.
Not as far as Florida, it may be a happy medium between you and your parents. Its about a 7 hour drive from jersey</p>

<p>At first my parents didn’t mind me going there, but after going to the open house and coming back, they even think it’s too far away. I’m considering Fairleigh Dickinson University-College at Florham again. I checked their website and saw they might have an aviation program (I only want the aviation administration, not the flight training if possible) but I’m not so sure about it. That program is in the college of continuing studies so I don’t know if they accept non-adult transfer students.</p>

<p>Have you looked at Pennsylvania College of Technology in Williamsport; or Vaughn College of Aeronautics and Technology in Flushing (NY)?</p>

<p>I took a look at Penn college of Technology. It is okay but they don’t have aviation management. Vaughn I looked into in the past and I used to like it, but the campus is too small.</p>

<p>Wow, I am stunned that parents are so strong willed about keeping their birds close to the nest. Our DS applied to an assortment of places. The one he was accepted to and liked the best is on the opposite coast. But, guess what? Families who have a student at college just up the road don’t see their offspring anymore frequently! College kids are busy people – particularly if they do an overseas gig or an internship. </p>

<p>Maybe the best course is to ask (politely) for a road trip with your parents. Go SEE the Florida campus for yourself. You may find its scruffy and not to your taste (end of daydreaming and conflict) – or you (and parents) may see that it is fabulous and has tons of extras that are superb (start of understanding and end of conflict). </p>

<p>Are you the “learner” child? That is, are you a first born or only child? Because if that is the case, your parents are learning on you. They may have a faulty idea of what life will look like once you are enrolled somewhere. Talk about this. Many parents are very reluctant but go ahead and see if you can get some feedback from families a year ahead of you in the process. Another parent saying “No, she won’t have a weekend free until Thanksgiving” may register. </p>

<p>We send our son off with a backpack and trunk. He had to make the flight, then a bus, then drag his stuff across the campus at 11 p.m. in the pouring rain (I do feel a bit guilty about the rain part). He rather laughed at the kids who were showing up the next day with both parents waiting on them, hand and foot, with giant Uhauls full of stuff. </p>

<p>Lots of ways to be in the world. But sometimes I think parents DO get a false idea of how much they are going to be in their child’s life from 18 to 22.</p>

<p>I guess I’ll join the minority with Olymom. Our thought for sending our first born DS off to college- it’s like a half way house- he’ll have room and board and have to make sure that he’s responsible for getting things done.</p>

<p>A parent can’t always be there and after 18 years, I would think most parents want their children to start doing things on their own.</p>

<p>I think one thing the OP can do (if not already doing this) - show he’s more responsible; take action on things that he needs to do; and not wait for the parent to take care of things for him. Maybe the reason why the parent doesn’t want the OP to go far away is because the OP hasn’t shown enough initiative in his life. I would suggest sitting down with the parent to find out exactly why the parent doesn’t want the OP to go far away. If there are things that can be “fixed” do it now to show the parent that he can do things on his own.</p>

<p>That said, at 18, you are an adult and don’t need permission to go to school you want to attend… As long as you are willing to pay for it yourself.</p>

<p>To the OP…</p>

<p>During this first year of college…how often have you had to depend on mom or dad for something…to fix a problem…to wash your clothes…whatever…</p>

<p>If you haven’t spent this “post high school year” demonstrating that you can take care of yourself, why are you surprised at the limitation that they are setting?</p>

<p>Conversely, if you are completely taking care of yourself (as if you were currently living in a dorm somewhere), politely point that out to your parents.</p>

<p>A side issue…money…perhaps your mom is concerned that she may have enough money to pay for your college, but she may not have enough money to also pay for airfares (especially emergency airfares) when they are needed.</p>

<p>BTW…regarding the college that wants you to be a freshman…can’t you just apply as a freshman and not use your cc credits?</p>

<p>Last night, I tried talking to my mom about visiting Florida colleges/universities. I tried to be persuasive and convincing but in the end, she yelled at me. It’s so upsetting. She was like “No, you’ll never go to Florida!” (Something like that).</p>

<p>She also told me that she doesn’t want me to move far away because I can’t communicate well with other people. I have to admit that sometimes that’s a challenge for me.</p>

<p>Now, I have a tough decision to make. Stay in NJ and major in business or move out of state and major in aviation management.</p>

<p><<wow, i=“” am=“” stunned=“” that=“” parents=“” are=“” so=“” strong=“” willed=“” about=“” keeping=“” their=“” birds=“” close=“” to=“” the=“” nest.=“”>></wow,></p>

<p>LOL! I was thinking the same thing. When I went to college - my mother’s rule was that I had to attend a school that was TOO FAR AWAY to come home on weekends. I ended up about 5 hours away. My brother’s school was at least 8 hours away.</p>

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<p>Well, you need to work on that. Do you have a problem with “taking care of issues” or problems…Do you leave problems for others to handle, or do you ignore problems and then they get worse??? You need to demonstrate that you can take care of your own problems and speak up when needed.</p>

<p>But…that said…what difference then would it make if you were 2 hours away or 10 hours away…it’s not as if your mom is going to be “communicating” for you on either campus.</p>