<p>Wepaid about $125K for her 4 years in 2008 dollars. We will pay about $200K for him in 2008 dollars. Roughly 70K difference</p>
<p>One thing you might need to consider letting go of is the idea of treating your children exactly the same. My parents tried to do this with my siblings and I, and as time went on we found it increasingly laughable, since our needs and interests were so completely different (some wanted grad school, big wedding, house down payment, and so on, and others needed/wanted none of these things.) (I got a check from my parents after my SISTER'S wedding, trying to even things up. Very funny, and not sure how the math was done, to this day.)</p>
<p>Now with three kids of my own, I decided early on that the "same treatment" idea would be going out the window, and that we would try to understand each person's needs and act accordingly. They're all teenagers now, and seem to appreciate that, at our house, things aren't "even", but they are generally fair and respect individual tastes and wishes.</p>
<p>This has left us free to explore all kinds of educational options for each child without measuring what we are doing for the others and trying to even things up. We just don't buy into that model.</p>
<p>
[quote]
and he doesn't want to take out loans to make up the difference.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>That says everything ....</p>
<p>But is Pepperdine worth it? Northwestern is, but is Pepperdine?</p>
<p>And Janey, ask yourself - if you do succumb to his emotional blackmail (which is what this is), how will your daughter feel? Now if you don't have an equivalent amount for her, aren't you shafting her for being more fiscally responsible?</p>
<p>You say, "He has worked hard" - well, I assume that you did, too, for that $70,000. He doesn't want to take out loans? Well, as I have always asked my d, "If it's not worth your money, why should it be worth mine?"</p>
<p>If S doesn't want to take out the $70k in loans for Pepperdine, I guess he's saying, in effect, it's not worth the extra $$.</p>
<p>Your money, your choice.</p>
<p>Can I just say something, OP? I'm not going to berate you, but I'm not supporting you here, either. I just thought I might mention something...</p>
<p>You're parents are contributing to your college fund. They are helping you more than they are entitled. This, in my opinion, is an expression of love.
This is your college experience, not theirs. Should you not get out their and find the rest of what you need on your own (with some parental backing if they wish to help you with that too!)</p>
<p>I think that, instead of complaining about what you don't have, thank your parents for giving you what they already have given. Then, put up your fists and start fighting for more money.</p>
<p>I understand that you feel let down or pushed aside. I can't say I agree with it, but I see where you're coming from. I am also about ready to head for college, and trust me, your going to miss your folks. (As will they; along with everyone else!)</p>
<p>I know you have some good potential in you and you can get more money. But sitting around and complaining about it is not going to get it for you. Your parents have already footed a good deal of it for you. Now, find the rest.</p>
<p>I've recently sent in the attendance card for a 200k private school over an 80k really good in-state school. My parents have agreed to pay for the private if it made me happy.</p>
<p>Reading these posts today made me cry profusely for being selfish.</p>
<p>velveteen, don't feel like you're being selfish. Your parents are paying willingly. Feel grateful, realize what your parents are doing for you (and what they may be willingly giving up), pay it forward and pay it back to them by showing them your gratitude and keeping them a part of your life. Make the most of this opportunity you've been given.</p>
<p>That's all most of us want from our kids.</p>
<p>Chedva: wise words! Most parents love their kids unconditionally, and this kind of sacrifice is willingly made.</p>
<p>Velveteen: you need to ensure that your parents are not digging themselves into a hole with that commitment. If they can afford it without emptying out retirement funds, taking out a home equity loan larger than around $50k, and leaving themselves without a normal security blanket, say "thank you" and move on. However, if your parents are doing unreasonable things or this will put your siblings in an undesirable situation in the future, you should be the one pushing back. Good luck at school!</p>
<p>I agree with Chedva. :)</p>
<p>Did you notice this is a thread from a year ago?</p>