<p>As a mother I have listened to parents of other children relating how wonderful and perfect their children are. This has gone on throughtout my children growing up but now that we are in the process of college apps, it seems that parents have gone overboard.</p>
<p>I find myself listening to how brilliant others kids are, how delightful they have been to raise, how they have the most adoring boyfriend, etc.....and I wonder if mine is the only kid who is not perfect!</p>
<p>Don't get me wrong, she's a good kid, but does not live up to the portrayals of the other parents. She does not get all A's, talks back to me, has drama with her friends, and has been downright tough to raise at times. Am I all alone here.... or am I the only one who is being honest?</p>
<p>Are parents so busy presenting a description of their perfect child that they lose track of the truth? Are they really so proud of their kids as they are - or are they disappointed and trying to impress me?</p>
<p>i know your question is serious, questbest, but you will feel better after reading one of the most hilarious threads ever on CC. Post #12 by violadad is where it really gets going.</p>
<p>My current “collegeshopping” daughter is a great kid. Perfect, no. But her siblings, say she is close to perfection and they are all aggravated by her. Now with that said, she is rare. She never talks back to me, is a great student, loves serving the community, etc. Now I believe this is not typical. My four sons before her talked backed to me, committed acts that landed them in the principal’s office, one even was brought home by a city cop because he drank so darn much that when the cops broke up the party he couldn’t even run because he was face down in the grass. I never knew CC before her because they were happy with local schools (one went private on the coattail of his girlfriend and looking back was darn lucky to get in, but I knew nothing about that stuff then, he was our first to go through the process)</p>
<p>So, yeah some kids are 100% pure pleasure to raise. Some are not. I think it all depends on the kid. I guess if some of these people in your circle only have one kid then they got darn lucky. But the reality is if they have a “perfect” one, there is another one to make up for it…lol. I have a younger son that gives me a run for my money every single day. But someone has a sense of humor because his younger sister is so easy and laid back, my head spins some days just trying to shift gears.</p>
<p>And my daughter’s best friend chatters all day long and her parents say she not only stays in her room and never speaks but has actually called them on her cellphone to ask if they’re making tea.</p>
<p>So is my town the only neighborhood where EVERY parent I run into at the supermarket has the most agreeable, brilliant, well-adjusted kid? I end up feeling as tho there is something very lacking in my family…because we are NOT anywhere near perfect.</p>
<p>My kids are great. They were easy to raise and continue to be easy to get along with. They were/are excellent students and they are funny, warm, good-natured people.</p>
<p>Other than missing them now that they are away at college… I have no complaints. Honest truth.</p>
<p>Yeah, I think I first joined CC when I read the post (#3) with the diderago (or whatever it was called). I knew I was hooked. </p>
<p>Either you are totally honest and recognize your kids can drive you crazy, in which case you’re going by some fake name because you don’t want to your neighbors to know. OR your name isn’t any more made-up than your “perfect, insanely smart, gifted, athletic kids”.</p>
<p>We all live in Lake Wobegon, where most kids are above average.</p>
<p>I always told my girls how cute they were since they were little. One day D2 said to me, “You would say that even if we were ugly.” I honesty was telling the truth. If we didn’t think our kids were perfect, who would?</p>
<p>Perhaps some of the overly positive thinking by parents of college-bound students is motivated (consciously or subconsciously) by the realization that the students will soon be leaving home. Knowing how much they will miss their kids, the parents may tend to focus on their positive aspects, rather than any problems. </p>
<p>If it makes you feel any better, I will admit that my kids-who-are-no-longer-kids are far from perfect.</p>
<p>My daughter (college junior) left dirty dishes and food garbage in her room when she went back to school yesterday after Thanksgiving Break. It’s a good thing I happened to go in there looking for some DVDs that needed to go back to Blockbuster or my husband and I would have been asking “What’s that smell?” a few days from now.</p>
<p>As for her older brother (second-year graduate student), he somehow managed to make plane reservations for Christmas that require him to get up in the middle of the night for both flights, even though plenty of alternate flights at normal times of day were available. For his flight back to school, he’s going to have to get up at 3:30 a.m. – and so will I because I’m the one driving him to the airport. What was he thinking? WAS he thinking?</p>
<p>That’s how a majority of the kids in our local public school are described… Mary Poppins-esque; Practically perfect in every way. I see it as insecurity in a very competitive world. Show me a TRULY perfect kid and I will probably find myself bored because to be truly interesting (IMO), one needs to test limits and take risks and part of all of that is clear failure. To not do that is mostly following a path already well-traveled. Now… not that there is anything inherently wrong with a stoic personality, but if kids never frustrated their parents with constant questioning or however they deal it out, they arent really doing their job. Now… do some parents handle that frustration better than others? Yes. But some lie through their teeth saying everything is so wonderfully perfect when it is clearly anything but.</p>
<p>I have one child who goes to school because she loves to learn and one who goes to school because that’s where his friends are; he might as well go too. You all will be reading about him in two years, and I will be reading much different threads.</p>
<p>One time a woman asked me how I had raised such perfect kids. I didn’t know the woman and was offended, inferring that she thought I bragged too much about my kids. The reason I think she said it was because I just choose to have a positive attitude. My kids are nowhere near perfect (in fact, ds2 will be lucky to make it to bedtime tonight), but I don’t dwell on the disappointments or bad stuff. Overall, they are delightful; I see the glass as half full.</p>
<p>My son makes me laugh and that is priceless. He puts messages on my phone and once took a picture of his elbow–bent so it looked exactly like a butt crack and put that on my phone, so I could see it every time I opened the thing.</p>
<p>Quest, you are so right–wher edo you live? It sounds very, very familiar, and I would bet especially in the Boston-Washington corridor, but may be very common everywhere.</p>
<p>mamabear, I think my friends are a lot like yours!
We love to walk in the foothills on a one-hour walk. Four of us usually walk together a few times a week and mostly talk about our kids. As a group, the kids are high-achieving. When you listen to their mothers talk privately over fifteen years, you know that everyone is always working on something (both the teenagers and the moms!).</p>
<p>Oh my word… I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Funniest thread of all time. Such incredible wit. Funnier still is how FAST the thing took off… it’s good to laugh at yourself (and others). :)</p>
<p>I think most people are having some issues with their teenagers. It just seems a bit disloyal to tell acquaintances in the supermarket that your daughter keeps putting used pads through the laundry, or your son is pining away for a classmate. I know I don’t share negative things about my kids with everyone – not because I’m trying to make them seem perfect, but because it seems to be none of their business.</p>
<p>So if you run into me in the supermarket and I say everything is great – be assured, I love my kids very much, but they’re probably driving me crazy!</p>